day 13 new experiences

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Yesterday I visited a residential care home – this is a first for me. I visited with some people from St Stephens who run a short service for the people living here every week. I have not experienced ministry in a residential care home before and I have great admiration for those that clearly love this ministry.

I was really impressed by the quality of the care and the home itself. It was a really lovely place to live. I was struck also by the compassion I observed from the church team to both the residents and the staff which was very much a two way thing. The staff and the residents were clerly pleased to see us. This group of Christians really were good news to everyone they met in that building.

It’s interesting to compare this with my level of engagement. I guess I felt pretty much disabled as, if I am honest, I had no idea on what level to engage in such an environment. I had been well briefed but when there I struggled to respond in any meaningful way.

I felt this way in the first few months of my visits to the pub, but in that location I was able and ready to respond appropriately when needed. I felt at ease and ready to respond. Today, I felt something different; I felt unable to respond or engage as if I had to fight to remain open. I did not feel at ease or able to see how to respond. I could see the excellent people I was with leading the way … but for the first time in a very long time I felt myself holding back. If I am honest I think there was a personal reluctance to engage. I am not sure if it was simply being a totally new environment or whether its simply that this setting is just not for me … I guess that question will only be answered in time a I visit more homes.

10 to 12 .. watching from the sidelines

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Days 10 to 12 of the placement have been pretty quiet i guess. I mixture of morning prayer, visiting, listening, planning, preaching and presiding alongside maintaining contact with my new friends and people in Rochester.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of preaching and presiding at the church plant on the Davis estate in Chatham. The informality of this service, while still following ‘the rules’ is something more towards what I believe lots of people are looking for. The real privilege yesterday, though, was a conversation with an older lady who had just visited the Davis estate church 3 times. This was the first time she had taken communion for nearly 30 years. When I asked her how it felt she said, ‘it was special, like coming home.’ To have been able to play a small and insignificant step in helping this lady reconnect with her God was really the highlight of the week. I believe this experience happened because God was calling this woman back … and on this occasion I was able to stand on the sidelines and watch what was happening.

It’s experiences like these that make ministry so so exciting! It’s seeing peoples lives being changed or encounters occurring – not because of anything I or we do, but because there is a God in the world who is always acting in peoples lives. I guess a lot of the time we simply don’t notice … if I had not had the opportunity to speak with that lady after the service I would be none the wiser! As it stands, this one chance encounter reminds me that this is why I was ordained!

 

days 7,8,9 …. rooted in the community

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I guess I am getting into the swing of things at St. Stephens and learning names and understanding how they do things. Yesterday I presided at a mid week Eucharist which surprised me with an attendance of 10 people, which is quite a lot more than I see when I preside at the mid week eucharists in the cathedral. I compare only because I find it interesting to observe and learn what draws people to such a service at 10am on a Wednesday morning.

Most of the people there yesterday were retired in some capacity and the service is clearly important to them. Some were moving next to visiting some homes in the parish with the magazine so our closing words of ‘go in peace to love and serve the Lord’ were said with immediate practical application.

Yesterday ended with atending the Lent course. The Chatham churches are getting together every Wednesday evening over Lent and have managed to get a different bishop each night to talk on a topic. Last night Bishop James spoke to the title, ‘Empowering Mission relevant to our society and culture’. I was encouraged by what I heard.

Bishop James spoke widely around the term ‘empowering mission‘. What empowers mission was an early question and ‘the Holy Spirit’ was an early answer. He then turned the term around and asked how does mission empower people because he believed mission, if it is mission, is about transforming lives and not just saving souls as Jesus makes pretty clear in John 10:10. I wanted to shout a loud front row Pentecostal yes to that … but you will be glad to know I kept my Anglican calm dignity in the back row by nodding slowly but surely!

Bishop James ended his talk by referring to Jeremiah chapter 29 and these word which were written to exiles that, I presume, wanted to escape their exile:
build houses and dwell in them; plant gardens and eat their fruit. Take wives and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters – that you may be increased there and not diminished. And seek the peace of the city where I have caused you to be carried away captive, and pray to the Lord for it; for in it’s peace, you will have peace. (vv5-8)

Sometimes we can feel as exiles where we are; but our role and calling is not to moan but to settle and to be a blessing. As Bishop James said, we need to be rooted in the places we are, listening to the heartbeat of our communities and responding appropriately.

I love that statement and I agree with it wholeheartedly. That is what I am attempting to do in the St Stephen’s parish but it takes a lot longer than 6 weeks to tune in. To be rooted in a place takes time and sometimes it does not happen at all …. but when it does relationships flourish and people of a place become very special. After 20 years of living and working in a variety of ways in the community of Medway I feel like roots are developing and growing well. I can sense and hear the heartbeat and, in my case, pioneering is about the responding appropriately. It takes that long to establish roots in a place which is why I am fighting to stay locally in my next role.

People ask am I moving, can I move and will I move … I could, there are opportunities both in this diocese and others …. but I don’t think I can as I, well we as a family,  passionately feel called to serve the people of Medway, to seek the welfare of the people of Medway, to pray for peace for the people of Medway. When I first came here from Weymouth in 1987 I hated Medway with a passion and could not wait to return to the West Country …. we worked for Holy Trinity Nailsea for 4 years but we came back, believing God called us back here. I can say I have built my house here, I am planting my garden (remember my allotment!) … and I’ve even ‘taken’ (not my word!) a wife and beget sons and a daughter here. As I consider this passage what other response can I make?

I will seek the peace of this city … and in that peace I hope that I will fine mine.

pub theo … what difference does faith make?

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pub theology happened last night and we kicked off with something along the lines of:
‘Was Whitney Houston a bad Christian example and witness or was she a good example showing that Christians also struggle and do not lead perfect lives?’ 
We had a much longer discussion on and around this than I had expected.

Many took the view that it was far too easy ato judge and that many seemed to do that within the church. I think we agreed that we felt she was a good example as it showed how  faith is not a guarantee or a ‘cushion’ that protected people …. but rather that Christians, like everyone else, struggle with the crap of life …. sometimes that is life!

The conversation then exploded into what is a Christian …  and more particularly what different our Christian faith makes to our normal everyday life. I think there were varied answers to this …. for me personally it is about being good news for people and being involved in transforming communities and not about believing a set of practices or following a group of behaviours ….. discuss!

The next pub theo will be held on MOnday 26th March …. put the date in your diary.

day 4, 5 and 6; discovering more stories

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There is not really a lot to report back or mull over over the last 3 days. I guess of them day 5, or Sunday was the busiest … but refreshingly less busy that a normal Sunday at the cathedral. Being in a parish setting where I am not rushing back to a service at 315pm meant there was time to talk to people and hear about their stories. (there could eb a bit of a theme developing here!)

On Sunday I led the 8am and 10.30 communion services. It’s interesting adapting to a different setting and method than I am used to at the cathedral …. and I guess I could reflect on being a little surprised how terms and practices that meant nothing to me at the time of my ordination (such as deacon) now mean something quite specific to me in a cathedral setting … but even that simple word, I have seen, can mean something very different in a parish setting.

Today I managed to get dates in the diary to become involved in what the church does in some of the elderly residential homes. I can’t say I am looking forward to this … but I am looking forward to seeing what this will be like and how people exercise ‘ministry’ in places that are different to those that I work in. So I guess I am looking forward to hearing and discovering more stories

day 3 …. life stories

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Today has been a day of hearing stories of people. This morning, the daily office was led by one of the lay readers and she shared her story with me … and it was fascinating and I love hearing stories of people. Later in the morning I wandered to Wetherspoons and caught up with 2 or 3 people, again hearing more of their stories. This afternoon I visited the family of someone who recently died and whose funeral service I will conduct. I had  a fascinating and special time hearing their story and the story of their mum. I genuinely left their home wishing I had met the person in real life.

Today, on reflection, I would not say I have learned anything new or necessarily acquired new skills … but I have learned new things about new people … and that is a real privilege of my work.

Day 2: the vulnerability of realness

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The placement continues … and I am using this space to reflect on my experiences I guess … although there is not really a lot to reflect upon from today.

The day started with morning prayer at 930 …. which is great as it is a whole 90 minutes later than the cathedral, and we don’t pause at the red dots which I have never really got! (If that last ‘red dot’ sentence means nothing to you … then thank God that you have been spared but ask an anglican what that’s about!).

Today we got key dates in the diary and then I was able to get to Rochester in the morning and the afternoon to chat with some great people. I believe these people keep me sane and grounded. So although I mentioned above that there is not really a lot to report, I am mightily hit today by the importance I place on people who are willing to be real. We live in a world of superficiality where the illusion of fame seems to be idolised in place of integrity and reality. Even without the fame, people live false lives of correctness, wearing stiff exteriors to give an ‘I am ok’ vibe to those around them, when they are clearly anything but. To be honest, and hence vulnerable,  in our society has come to be seen as a sign of weakness.  I am really honoured that in my life I am surrounded by real people who are honest and full of compassion for others and integrity in the personal lives. They are some of the strongest people I know.

To be real is to be vulnerable, to be honest when things are not going well rather than pretend. To be real also means you want the truth and are willing to deal with it … which means when you ask someone if they are ok, being prepared to accept the pain when they say that they are not and to live with that reality … rather than trying to solve stuff with glib phrases. The vulnerability of realness is a risk, because being vulnerable opens our reality to others around us. That is a pretty dangerous place to put yourself.

I am hit smack in the face on this day of Lent by the vulnerability of people that in turn point me to the vulnerability of Christ. The Christ that put himself at the mercy of others and , ultimately, suffered to consequences. Today I have noticed the vulnerable Christ living all around me in my everyday world. My response today, to God, has been a simple but tearful ‘why?’ Beyond that I find myself speechless.

I give thanks today for the honest vulnerable people who have become important to me … may you be aware of God standing with you in the silence …

day 1

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So I have completed the first day of my parish placement. There has been lots to think about which is useful, and today was an experience of planned stuff and the unexpected …. such as needing to do a school eucharist at 10 minutes notice – which was the part of the day which really ‘energised’ me and the part that I enjoyed the most.

I have a number of reflections and thoughts on today:

… the poignancy of using the Ash Wednesday liturgy, ‘remember from dust you came and to dust you will return‘ in the setting of a local hospice really challenged me, nearly to a point of tears … reminding me that God may be found in all situations and all settings

… the internal struggle I felt when entering my fifth communion and ash service of the day while my being was screaming that I have spent too much time in church and not enough time with people outside … conforming my calling as a pioneer I guess

… the real privilege I felt while presiding at a eucharist in a local academy with Year 8 students. I have already pretty much said this was the highlight of the day … it has been a long time since I have had the opportunity to engage with a group of young people and seeing the struggle and inquisitiveness of the faces of these young people was a wonder … reminding me of how much I love working with young people, which I think I may have forgotten!

and the joy of seeing 2 friends at St Stephen’s this evening that I have not seen for some 12 years … confirming within me my simple love of being with people, particularly listening to their stories and learning about them ….

So … the placement is maybe reminding me of things, maybe challenging me on things and maybe even confirming some things  As I look to the future I hope this experience will guide me … I guess only time will tell

giving up the cathedral for Lent

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I’m giving up the cathedral for Lent!
I find that the cathedral takes up an enormous amount of my time. I have found myself visiting and wandering through it, on average, around 6 times a day. Quite often I loiter and chat with people instead of simply passing through and and can often be seen sitting with someone in one of the side chapels  and listening to what they have to share. I’ve even taken to blessing crosses and babies when asked my concerned parents and people buying crosses from our gift shop.

It’s clear that the cathedral is taking up a massive amount of my time … far more time than facebook or twitter accounts do. On some days I have even worked out that I have spent more time actually in the cathedral listening to others than I have listening to my own family. I think if it was any other activity then people would be saying this was not ‘helpful’.

So …. I am giving up the cathedral for Lent. The last time I set foot in the building was yesterday, and the next time will be April 16th (which schedules in a post Easter break in Cornwll!)

On a more serious note …. today I start a 6 week parish placement at St. Stephen’s Chatham as a formal part of my training. I’m going to be involved in ‘parish stuff’ rather than cathedral ‘stuff’ and balance that with my ‘pioneering stuff’. So although I will be staying away from the cathedral it will business pretty much as normal with Wetherspoons, Deaf Cat and the gathering. I expect to learn some stuff which will help me in the future … whatever that may look like.

If you are the praying kind … please pray that I have the grace to be open to learning and gain and give all that I can … as I will be honest and say I really wanted to spend my last Easter at the cathedral with my cathedral family … and I admit to feeling a great sense of loss being away from that what would have been my last major festival with those I have grown to love over the last few years.  I am required to be at St. Stephens which, in effect, cuts the period of saying bye and I sense some pain in that. But … that sense of loss and pain can be quite a healthy attitude for me to be starting the Lenten journey with.

So … Lent …. and I’m off to St. Stephens for the 10am Ash Wednesday service.

(Oh yeah …. as an aside … if you thought my giving up the cathedral ‘ditty’ was a dig at those giving up facebook for Lent … well spotted!     I mean … come on … if Facebook and Twitter  have really taken over your lives so much that you feel they are getting in the way and you need to give up for Lent … shouldn’t that be a concern for you for the other 46 weeks in the year … just saying!?)

 

a transforming relationship

Aside

I little while ago regular visitors here will remember I got excited and had an excellent time on the CMS Pioneer ‘Missional Entrepreneur’ week. While there I made new friends and caught up with others that I had not seen for a while …. people like Andrea who is doing an amazing job in Kingston with people that the church have written off as ‘lost and dodgy’.

I have often blogged about my limited and occasional mbs stuff at Rochester Cathedral and with dekhomai. Andrea does this on a more permanent basis and is really engaging with spiritual seekers of the area. Andrea has, and still does, sit in that gap where other Christians either question what she does or fail to see the incredible value of her mission. I suspect there are even some that believe she is not a ‘real’ Christian due to the work she is involved in … but Jesus was not recognised either!

Andrea has given a great interview on the CMS Pioneer website where she admits she has no formula in this interview …. but that her mission (and all mission) needs to be about relying on God. It’s a good read so go check it out here.