Last night at RFS I watched Saving Mr Banks.

In the discussion afterwards I describe it as ‘a beautifully crafted film with some amazing acting which realistically showed a lot of emotion and pain as people struggled to let go of stuff from their past’

This was quite an emotional film and many afterwards admitting to welling up with tears at various places (of course … being a man i did NOT!) as the film prompted past memories that had not been fully dealt with. Seems this is an issue for many of us! The film shows very powerfully how past ‘stuff’ can influence our normal everyday backyard life.

This past year, probably 18 months, I have been coming up against stuff of my past. Some of this stuff has been painful but I have encountered it, immersed myself in it, stared it face on, and stepped out of it. I’d like to say I’ve come out better, but I am not sure I am at that space yet.  I think I’m close. I’m where I should be and that’s positive.

Sometimes I have laughed at myself as I’ve gone down those mental paths of the past where I have had to listen to those voices that told me I am worthless and good for nothing. I’ve laughed because, actually, I have no respect for those people or voices or my past and know they talk crap. I know their words are a lie. I know those words have no authority.

Other times I have frozen in fear, and found myself weeping, as I guess I start to consider some of this crap may … just may … be true. Spoken words are powerful, and no matter how resilient you are, they can have a massive effect on your self thoughts. When I worked for the Behaviour Support Service we knew that the children we worked with needed to hear a ratio of 8 positive comments  to every negative comment.

That sounds a lot … but why should it be? … why is that not a reality in our society? In a well informed ‘civilised’ society like ours … why is the norm negativity … when it could be so easily the complete opposite? I mean …. how difficult is it to be nice to each other, to tell each other how amazing and wonderful we are.

When I am challenged in this area I tend to find support from other words. I particularly find strength from the creation story in Genesis. God creates and says ‘it is good’. God creates humanity and says ‘it is very good’. I also find strength in these words from Psalm 139 …. when feeling alone or down, the words of this Psalm kick me up the arse basically and force me to take on board the truth.

So … following from last nights film … and realising how many people really are dealing with past shit due to others … and not looking for words of encouragement or platitudes personally (cos I already have 2 great friends who do that of whom I’m incredibly thankful) … I share this as some form of support …

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.

Go today … be blessed in the thought that you are marvellously made! Not because I say so … but because the One who created says so!

I really enjoyed the RochesterFilm Society showing of Sunshine on Leith this evening. This was a fun, feel good movie, which, to be honest, was great to watch after the events of this past week.

Some did not like the connection between the story and Proclaimers music, but I thought that worked pretty well. The performances of Mullan and Horrocks alone make the film worth seeing, but there is so much more in this than two talented actors.

I liked the way the film portrayed the fragility and centrality of relationships. In this film, to be human is to be in relationship, or to be connected in some way, to another human being. Even though relationships were key to humanity, they are shown to be very prone to cracking due to human behaviour and misunderstanding.

In this film, relationships are what life is all about, but they only work for the people who are prepared to fight for them. Whether it is a parental, lover or friendship (all three are illustrated in the film) ‘Sunshine’ almost wills the characters to chase the relationship as away to show its value and importance. For relationships to flourish … vulnerability was needed. For some reason I connected with that in tonights film!

All that for a shallow musical …. thanks RFS for giving me an excuse to come out of the house and experience this for a while.