A Proud Evening

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Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Achievement Evening of New Brompton College in my capacity as chair of governors. The evening was amazing with a mixture of prize giving and performing arts from different groups of students.

The quality of the performances was amazing and it seems to be getting better and better each year. As I sat and watched beaming smiles from young people receiving awards, heard the applause of students, staff and parents and saw the talent of our performing arts groups the voice from the Eucharist of 24 hours ago whispered … ‘how have we got here?’

Peter Holbrook, of the Sunlight Development Trust, was our guest speaker for the night and was right to speak of the past and remind us that the school some 6 years ago was one which the students were embarrassed to be associated with. As someone who has been linked in some way with the school since 1996, initially through Gillingham YFC and now as governor, I remember this only too well.

The picture is the complete opposite now. New Brompton College is a school where students grow and achieve. NBC is a school in which the students, staff and governors are immensely proud of. I spoke to a few parents last night who were not only proud of their young person’s achievements but also excited by the opportunities there are for them as we continue to move forward.

We have got here, in the space of 5 years, because of the dedication, commitment and hard work of the headteacher and her senior management team, backed to the hilt by the whole school staff and of course by the students who have chosen to respond to the staff that have complete confidence and belief in their abilities.

Last night was an amazing evening I left incredibly proud to be connected with our school.

How did we get here?

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It was a real honour to be at St George’s Greenwich last night to join with Jeremy as he presided for the first time at the Eucharist. I’ve traveled the SEITE journey with Jeremy and there have been key moments that the friendship of this guy have kept me on the ‘straight and narrow’. Jeremy has become a good trusted friend and so being there last night was important to me. Not only is he a special bloke, but his family are totally wonderful too.

Jeremy had asked Canon Grahame Shaw to preach on this occasion and he asked the question ‘how have we all got here?’, wanting us to consider, I think, our life journey to this point so far. It is an interesting thing to reflect upon and I think, for me, I also need to consider the thought ‘where have I come from?’.

I am amazed how, by looking back over my journey this far, how little decisions have had major consequences. One little decision of going to Warwick University rather than join the RAF meant I met Sarah, not only my lover and best friend – but a soul mate in many ways. If I had not met Sarah at 18 I am fairly sure that I would have lost my fledgling Christian faith which then was a mere few months old.

Likewise on SEITE if I had not met Jeremy, and a few others that won’t remain nameless (Dave, Jen, Babs, Nic Nic) then I wonder whether I would have completed the course.

So … today as I travel to the final KCME session of the year in Canterbury, while I sit on the train I shall be reflecting upon that question … how did I get here?

everthing has changed – and yet nothing has

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I woke up on Sunday morning a priest! How weird does that sound!
The whole experience is still pretty strange to get my head around.
I guess the best thing I can say is that I am still taking it all in.
It’s the end of a very long journey, and the start, I guess, of a new journey or at least a new direction of my journey altogether.

I said earlier to someone that I feel like everything has changed, and yet nothing has changed. That sounds strange but in some way makes an odd kind of sense to me.

The weekend has been amazing: ordination, followed by presiding at the Eucharist has been quite an emotional experience. As the service progressed I was struck by an increasing sense of privilege that it is to preside and be able to serve people in this way. It was special to be able to share in this special meal with many friends and family. It was not until I got home and was nearly asleep that I realised that in all the emotion of the moment that I forgot to take the bread and wine myself – clearly I need to remember that one in the future!

I felt Bishop Brian did an excellent job and both his charge to us on Friday evening and his sermon at the ordination really hit me. In his talk on Friday he reminded us that we are to delight in God. A delight in God should mark my ministry and so be distinct from the world around.

He also spoke a little about mission and worship being totally interconnected. As I listened I think I focussed on what he was trying to say: some churches are imbalanced with a focus on worship style or a focus on mission. Worship should come from mission and mission should flow from worship. It’s both/and not either/or.

In the sermon Bishop Brian gave a clear instruction – we are not to be busy. We are not to be so busy that we lose sight of people. We are not to be busy so that we have no time for people. We need to be with people. This is one thing that was aprticularly ringing in my ears as the service came to an end.

The weekend was special – thanks loads to all of you that joined me on the day, some traveling great distances, and to an even bigger number of you who have been part of this amazing journey over the last few years. Thank you for your patience with my ability to frustrate, your love when I was downhearted, your encouragement when close to giving up, and your friendship which has meant an immense amount to me.

God bless you all.

my beautiful daughter is 13 today!

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I’m back from retreat, I am a priest and I have presided at my first Eucharist and I will write more about that in the week.

Today though is a very special day in the Ryan household as ….

Beth becomes a teenager.

Happy 13th birthday Beth – I love you loads!

When we returned to Gillingham in 1996 Beth was just a bump – and now she is a beautiful and talented 13 year old. I can’t believe how much we are all proud of her and love her.

Have a fantastic day!

On retreat

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Today is the day of our ordination rehearasal after which we travel to Crowhurst Christian Centre for our retreat until Saturday when we return to join our families for lunch at a reception with Bishop Brian before then moving to the cathedral for the service at 3.00pm.

It all seems to have come around very quickly.

I’m not sure if I will be able to blog at Crowhurst so I don’t know of they have wifi. Nevertheless I will be reflecting while I am there on the ordination service and what priesthood is about and how it is different to being a deacon.

Please hold my family in your prayers while I am away – and I look forward to seeing some of you on Saturday or Sunday.

getting in retreat mood with Ardbeg

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Today has been a day of very strange emotions.

We prayed a lot this morning as we had an ‘incident’ with a person who had not been taking their medication which resulted in the police needing to be called to section the person concerned. For the first time in ages I felt quite worried and scared for my personal safety and the safety of others in the cathedral at the time. The person is normally lovely and it was very sad seeing the effect of not taking the drugs that clearly help normally.

Later in the pub a good few people wished me well for Saturday as most were aware I am off on retreat tomorrow in preparation for ordination on Saturday afternoon. It was an interesting and quite surreal experience – unexpected and quite heart warming. I don’t really understand what is happening between me and this group of people, if anything, but there seemed to be a desire for things to go well.

This afternoon I received a phone call from Beth’s school as she had fallen and hurt her wrist. We went to casualty and after a wait x-rays showed her metacarpal to be fractured which is now strapped and awaiting a visit to the fracture clinic next week. Beth is doing fine and everything will be ok.

This visit was another quite weirdly emotional experience. Beth and I were an oddity in that we did not seem to have the whole family, including grandma, with us. I iid you not – this seemed to be very much like a day out for many people and was quite disturbing. The casualty department looked quite full with about 40 people in it …. but when I counted there were only about 10 patients with the other 30 or so family memebers. maybe I am being unkind, but it did seem weird.

More distressingly, many of these people seemed very needy and sad in themselves. I just felt a great sense of broken spirit in a negative way; these people seemed to have lost their self belief, their dignity and I felt very sad for them. That sounds patronising but it is not meant to be – I wanted to cry in prayer with God for these people.

It has really hit me today as I prepare to go away on retreat tomorrow how needy of love the world is. I became acutely aware that I cannot provide that love and that only God can. I realised that my role is to stand in the midst of this and just be available, and that that availability leaves me vulnerable.

As I ponder that further I am now sitting and relaxing with a great glass of Ardbeg! God’s true way of ending an evening.

a ticket

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Today was a pretty normal day, apart from one incident that has pretty much amazed me and is leaving me a little confused.

One of the regulars at the pub said on Friday that they would like tickets to come to the ordination service on Saturday. This was after I outlined to the group in our general conversation how long the service could be and what it entailed. Others had already said they would like to come, but other events are happening in Medway that day, such as the Armed Forces day which looks to be a major event. A number of these men are spoke to are ex-military and so they are involved or going to this event.

I sat today in my normal place and the man who wanted tickets was not there. He is always there and so this concerned me a little. I was surprised, but hoped that he was not embarrassed that he had asked and now was trying to avoid me. I decided that was daft as he is the sort of guy who would easily and calmly say something else had come up.

Just as I was leaving the guy turned up – he was running late and said he was worried that he may have missed me before asking if I had two tickets for him. He now has them and is looking forward to coming to the cathedral.

I’m not sure what is happening here; is this a desire to support me, is it intrigue at what a service will look like, or is this an opportunity to visit the cathedral knowing it will ok because he has tickets to come in? Is there a certain security in having tickets to enter a church building? Does the possession of a ticket make stepping over that threshold all the more easier? Does having a ticket signify being a guest, with the knowledge and security that being a guest goes hand in hand with being welcomed? Does the ticket simply show those checking tickets that you have a right to be here because someone has given you one of their tickets?

I’m unsure about the answer, if there is one, and maybe it is a combination of the three – whatever, I still find it quite interesting that someone that would not attend church normally wants to attend what could be quite a long service.

I’m famous

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A good friend, Ben, was out on detached work in Gillingham the other week and found ‘my tag’.
Clearly I’m famous!
Despite the rumours I am not the creator!
If it was me it would have been far more subtle and creative!
Nice to know someone loves me enough to pspray my name though 😉

your last Sunday as a deacon!

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I walked into the cathedral library this morning to robe to be greeted with ‘well… your last Sunday as a deacon!’ It’s true, and yet it sounds and feels quite strange as well. It’s been an interesting few days, and a really good weekend. It’s my last weekend before I become a priest, and I have found myself looking at things slightly differently over the last few days.

I am looking forward to this week, and I step into this week with some apprehension. This time last year I was finishing training and this very weekend was the leavers weekend. It is weird to think only a few months ago we were contemplating being ordained deacons, and the time has rushed past and here I am, priest minus 6 days!

It has been a long journey, for me I guess over a few decades which has just accelrated over the last 5 years or so. This week will bring the time into a sharper focus. On Wednesday we will start our retreat as a group of curates at Crowhurst before we return to Rochester on Saturday for the ordination service.

For me it feels like a completion is about to occur. As the date has got closer I have had a increasingly greater sense of being incomplete. In the past God has spoken to me through this to show me it is time to change. This time the change involves becoming a priest.

As I step into this week, I will be stepping carefully, wondering more, watching and listening. I will hopefully get to meet people in Wetherspoons in the early part of the week (some of whom have asked for tickets for the ordination service which bowls me over with amazement). But as I walk, I will be continuing to ask and reflect upon what this completion entails.

If you get a chace, please pray for me and the family as this week unfolds.

It’s my birthday

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64 today
does she cry?
does she wonder?
when will she be released?

remember Suu Kyi in your prayers today
Our God is a a God of Justice
Let justice come …