remembering 3rd September 1917

Today I acted like a real vicar for a little while as I was invited by the Royal Naval Association in Chatham to conduct an annual memorial service at the Drill Hall in the dockyard which is now the University Library.

The event we were remembering happened on this day, well in the evening actually, of 3rd September 1917 when over 130 RN ratings were killed while sleeping in the drill hall. The area was bombed and although the bomb itself did not kill many, the fact that the building had a glass roof meant that many died from horrific injuries from falling shards of quarter inch thick glass that tore into bodies and limbs.

The bombing was the first night time bombing raid from the Germans and took everyone by surprise. Ordinary Seaman Frederick W. Turpin went to the scene to help with the wounded. He recorded what happened in his notebook:

It was a gruesome task. Everywhere we found bodies in a terribly
mutilated condition. Some with arms and legs missing and some
headless. The gathering up of the dismembered limbs turned one
sick….It was a terrible affair and the old sailors, who had been in
several battles, said they would rather be in ten Jutlands or
Heliogolands than go through another raid such as this.

You can read more on the history here.

Today it was an honour to stand with the men and women of the Royal Navy. In some ways it may seem starange to remember an event from such a long time ago as this could not really have an effect on us today … could it? I believe it is good to remember but this morning I spoke to an old sailor. He told me his grandfather was due to sleep in the hall on that night. As it happened he had shore leave and was in a house in Chatham that night. A tear came in the mans eye as he said ‘and of course, if my grandfather had been there, the likelihood is I would not be here.’

The frailty of life is something to be remembered, not to be morose, but to spur us on to take opportunities that come our way because none of us know what is around the corner.

Discovering Milk

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2522942&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

MILK [Short film] from www.bastienroger.com on Vimeo.

I have just started to experiment with short videos, podcasts as such and so signed up for accounts with Audioboo and Vimeo. Whether I ever get around to putting something there is another business – writing in a public setting is one thing, but for some reason speaking or sharing videos in a public setting seems to be a bigger step for me.

While browsing the Vimeo site I quickly found this short film by Bastien Roger. It’s an incredibly beautiful film which drew me in to the story. It’s only about 10 minutes long but amazing. ‘In this chaos, one man, his glance and dream of purity’.
– go watch as I’m sure you won’t be sorry!

ssshhhhhh

The blog has been quiet because … yes, you guessed it – I snuck off for another brief holiday. August tends to be a holiday month usually and this year has been the same as others where I have slept more in the caravan than I have in my own house.

I will be back into the swing of writing and reflecting soon – and after only being back in the pioneering setting for a few hours it has been an interesting time. The blog has been quiet, hence the title, but the ‘ssshhhhhh’ refers to meeting up with and hearing from friends that I have not really seen for a while.

The holiday was great – being away in Dorset, New Forest and then Ashford with friends has reminded me how privileged I am and what great opportunities we have as a family. It has also shown how much I have missed being with friends and how I really want to sort out how I can ensure that I don’t have to wait a whole year before speaking and laughing with friends and family again. It is possible but just seems so easy for us all to sink back into work and ministry mode and for that to become all absorbing.

Over the summer has also been interesting facebook wise with 3 friends from school days making contact. It’s quite exciting to hear what people have been doing in that 30 year gap since we last spent any time together. It’s weird to think as well that I used to spend the majority of my time with these people and yet moving away, meeting new people seems to mean losing touch with others. The moving away and, again, the immersing myself into other stuff, has resulted in losing touch. In such ways it is easy to forget where you have come from. Personally i think that is sad as my roots are quite a large part of what makes me me.

As I reflect on that I’m off to wander to meet another good friend in Rochester Coffee Co – have I told you they serve the best coffee in Rochester … apart from at my house of course!

Glorious Movie!

Easily the best movie I have seen this year. Inglorious Basterds is classic Tarantino in so many ways – the spaghetti western music, the bold colours and the way Tarantino draws you in, cause you to smile and even laugh before then hitting you with some shocking action that caused people in the audience to squirm or jump!

I don’t how to describe this film other than being a Spaghetti Western World war 2 film. I realise that makes little sense – you just have to go watch and see what I mean. It’s a violent film but a film which seems set on justice for crimes, on the cost and consequences of actions being put right in some way. There is no sentiment of forgiveness in this film, which some Christians may have difficulty with. There are a number of scenes where Tarantino obviously wants to feel some sense of ‘joy’ at a persons death which is then followed by massive shock at the death of another – the reaction to death seemingly coming from the basis of how we value the character. That in itself pulls up lots of questions of how we value life and how we judge life.

I wouldn’t go too deep into this movie though – its just a great fun film to watch. If you love the Tarantino style, and I do, then this won’t disappoint.

the ashes come home


the end to a pretty great weekend

mentoring and coffee

I met up with Ian Mobsby today who is my pioneer mentor. Ian is excellent at challenging me and getting me to think around the issues and thoughts I am having. I am incredibly conscious of how lucky I am to have such a relationship with someone of Ian’s expertese and experience.

Today Ian has challenged me to think about the next steps – both with the community and how we are operating, and what the next part of loving service will look like in Wetherspoons.

It’s incredibly helpful just to take time out to chat about what is happening as I find, really, that most people do not ‘get’ what I am tying to do. Most of the time I don’t get what I’m trying to do so its no surprise to me that others can’t grasp it a lot of the time. Ian gets what I am trying to do, and so reflecting with him is not just a help, it’s inspiring s it helps me move in to the next stage rather than rest where I am. Ian encourages me to stop building cages and explore the freedom I have the permission to play with.

After my time with Ian I wondered over to Flat White to read, reflect and make some notes along with drink some pretty amazing coffee. I just love this place, the area, the cafe itself, the people that come in – its more than a coffee shop and in many ways has a lot of what I am trying to build with others here – but that’s another time of reflection and another blog …. and for now I need sleep!

I want to go to your ****ing church!


The last few days in WS have been quiet. Virtually no one has been in. As I prayed before going out today I decided that I would pray as I walked and ask God to bless anyone who made eye contact with me. Today the old crowd were there and as people entered I prayed that God would bless each person. I normally pray, but today I prayed with specifics and decided to step out of my security cage and put myself in the midst of where people would be if they came in.

My way of working in the past has been waiting to be invited. This morning as I prayed in the cathedral I came to a realisation that I have been invited to sit in this area numerous times and that it is unnatural to keep waiting for another invite. I had been invited and now this was a space I could feel free to sit in. In fact, to not sit there could now give the impression that I did not value the people that are there.

Yesterday was an interesting time in WS.

I have now been going for nearly a year. All through that time there has been one guy who looks through me and, if I am honest, scares the sh** out of me because he is large, loud, abusive and I pretty much reckon he could flatten anyone who crosses his path. I constantly remind myself that he is created in the image of God like everyone else, although he may well choose to disagree.

Yesterday this guy, who banters with lots of people, shouted to me from across the bar ‘I want to join your ****ing church! I want to join your church cos you are always ****ing here!’ he then went on to make a joke that I had a recording of me in the confessional and when I left I just restarted the tape recorder – which was pretty funny.

I say this was an amazing day because this is a new start, the start of a new direction in my interaction with this man. We may not communicate again for a few more months as he may decide to look through me again; he may chose never to speak to me again, but this was the start of something different in hoe he views me being there, and possibly in how he views the church and maybe even how he views God if God is a possibility in his mind. Being shouted at and being able to enter into some banter is a step on the road to being accepted by this guy.

I left the cathedral this morning asking God to show me new stuff and lead me. I never have expectations of what to do – by that I mean I am not going out to try and convert people, or preach to people, or answer questions or even to look for oppotunities to share my faith- but simply I go out to look to see where God’s Kingdom is leaking into our world and how God is stirring people that he knows far more than I do, and loves far more than I will ever be able to.

There really is nothing else I can do – apart from ensure I don’t sneak back into the illusionary cage of freedom.

Breakfast vulnerability

It’s strange sometimes how ‘things’ occur that seem to re-emphasise a theme. Last night I was working on my sermon for next week and for some reason felt I should watch (again!!) Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

It may seem a bit of a ‘chick flick’ to be watching but it is one of my classic favourites and it does seem more and more that one of the ways that God communicates with me in a format that I can understand and hear is through film.

The film is about Holly Golightly and her ‘free-spiritedness’ and relationship with life. She values ‘being rich’ only and is determined to choose a rich husband, even when she starts to fall in love with the writer who has moved in upstairs, who only has $50 to his name!

If you have not seen the film you should watch it just for the beauty of the film itself and the joy which Audrey Hepburn exhibits in her portrayal of the character. I’ve just found out that Anna Friel is playing the lead role in a stage show which is due to open in London in early September.

To follow on the theme of vulnerability the film ends with Paul ‘Fred’ Varjak’s words:
You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

Our relationship with others, as well as with God, I am seeing, from my times of waiting necessarily involve having guts and courage to step put of the cage. It involves vulnerability. Being in the cage offers us protection and we acclimatise to being caged thinking our safety equates to freedom. In fact, the cage we crawl in for self preservation is the cage that prevents us from growing, exploring and developing in the way we are supposed to as human beings.

I think we sometimes try to sanitize our faith and think that we can engage with people from the safety of our cage. We try to minimise risk and eliminate vulnerability. That cage could take many shapes – home, family, friends, clubs, and of course church, which may be the largest cage for many – a lace where we feel we are safe but have an increasing awareness that actually it may be holding us back in various ways.

To engage properly, to hear, to be able ourselves fully and therefore fully engage we need to step out of the safety of the cage into freedom. Freedom and safety do not equate. As we step out we lose the security and suddenly everything becomes a lot messier and more dangerous. As I attempt to do that in my own little way I find that I have increasing occurrences of the ‘mean reds’ – to understand that you may have to watch the film!! (or a google search!)

Vulnerability


One of the things I enjoy doing when coming back from holiday is scanning a few blogs and catching up through Google Reader to discover what people have been writing.

I thought about going to Moot on Sunday evening, but coming back from holiday and other things prevented me from doing that but it’s clear that the service, particularly was quite profound; particularly the story and homily from Pete which Ian has kindly posted.

I have been struck by this quote from Rolheiser:

It is because of the refusal to be vulnerable that, far too often, instead of enjoying friendship and intimacy with those around us, we find ourselves fencing with each other, using our talents, achievements, and strengths as weapons.

It is this vulnerability that I try to embrace when I am out and about in Rochester, yet so often I catch myself crawling inside my armour to hide.

You can read it all from the Moot site here.

we’re back … did i tell you i bought a boat???


Got back from holiday at the weekend and just been relaxing a bit before getting back into the swing of things.
While in Poole I bought a boat – the pic is my boat. Actually, you need to click on the pic to see her in her glory!

ok ok … I know … in my dreams ….. normal service will be resumed soonish!