I’m really looking forward to attending this in November.
My diocese have agreed that I can use my CMD grant to attend this course, which is great as it means they can see the value of this as well.
The title of this module intrigues me and as it is part of the CMS pioneer training course I am looking forward to being able to chat and share with others.
The location looks pretty cool as well!
According to Jonny there are still some spaces … so if it grabs you too why not sign up for the week?
Went to hear Shane Claiborne the other night in Bromley Baptist Church. Shane was an excellent communicator and I found him both inspiring and challenging. It was refreshing to hear someone on a Christian platform saying it as it is, reminding us that as Christians we are called to be involved in making the world a better place (that’s, after all, what building the Kingdom of God is all about).
I particularly related to Shane’s comment along the lines of; ‘My life was fine, I met Jesus and he really screwed my life up!’ To be perfectly honest I feel like that a lot of the time.
Maybe I am jaded or becoming cynical in my old age; but I am really tired of hearing people say from the platform that Jesus will make everything better and that if you follow Jesus your life will be ok. These people forget there are Christians starving in the Horn of Africa, that there are Christians dying from war in Iraq, that there are Christians persecuted in Zimbabwe by other Christians!
Jesus does not take the crap away. Jesus dwells in the crap with you … that is, actually, what I find quite exciting. The fact that the world is in a mess and yet, rather than washing hands of us, God says … ‘okay, if that’s the way they’ve made it I best go experience it with them!’
Following Jesus, for me has been weird but exciting. I’ve got involved with ome wacky events, some crazy people. Sometimes I have felt at risk of my life, other times I have laughed until I cried. I have done things, seen things and felt things I would never had done seen or felt otherwise. I have never known what is coming next and at this very point in time most of my life I don’t even know what I should be doing now let alone next! Following Jesus is an adventure!
So – yes I agree with Shane, Jesus messed my life up in the choices I have felt led to make since becoming a Christian.
Do I regret this – no!
Would I change any of this – no!
Do I feel sorry for myself because of this – no?
Would I do anything else with my life – no!
I love my life and my role and the family and friends that Jesus has brought around me.
But … it’s still true to say …. if you choose to follow Jesus, he’ll really mess your life up!
It has been an interesting weekend with a mixture of stuff going on to reflect on.
Yesterday I drove Meghan and Luke back to Heathrow and waved bye as they returned to the US and COTA.
The three week placement has gone pretty quickly and as well as now considering 2 people that I did not really know before to be ‘friends’ it has been a great experience to have Meghan shadowing me for large parts of what I do in Rochester.
Over the last month or so we have chatted a lot and it has been really enlightening to hear another pioneers perspective and observations on what I am doing. We have not always agreed about stuff but the time has, I think, been beneficial and challenging in a positive way for both of us.
For myself it has been really valuable to have someone alongside to share ideas and seek feedback from. In many ways Meghan has fulfilled a ‘St. Mary Salome’ type role for me: a character that is believed to have been the person that was asking Jesus questions and challenging … maybe asking ‘why do you do this and not this?’ (there’s a bit of poetic licence there as we really know very little about Mary Salome). In other words Meghan’s comments and questions have required me to think about what I do, to remind myself what I am about, and to challenge me to remember what it is that I am trying to achieve. It is also good to hear how a fellow person views and experiences the same situation.
As I said, it has been great having Meghan around. It has supported in my mind the belief that I need two other people to join with me on this journey.
For sometime now in my weekly prayer emails I have been asking my friends to join me in praying for two other people to join me on my travels. I believe these two people may best described as a Mary Salome and a Barnabas character: one remembered for their questioning ability, and the other for their encouragement. So … I’m still on the look out for these 2 people. If you are the praying kind … please join me in asking that I may find them soon.
Following on from yesterdays post about searching and not really knowing what I am doing, I have been encouraged to see others grappling with the same kind of issue:
Graham posts from Eugene Peterson’s Contemplative Pastor:
I don’t know what I am doing half the time. I am interrupted, I am asking questions to which I have no answers. I am put in situations for which I am not adequate. I find myself attempting tasks for which I have no aptitude or inclination.’
I think even more helpful was a comment from Ig with this quote from Thomas Merton:
‘My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you’.
It’s encouraging to know that others have existed in this and do exist in this. It can be frustrating if you are impatient like me. It can also be exciting as we explore whether we are going in the right direction. In our society there seems to be some infatuation about destination which manifests itself in 5 year plans and strategies and so on. Although these are not bad things in themselves I do wonder whether we need to just allow the mystery of God to take a little more control.
I guess the best I can do in my situation is move forward and hope … and pray that I am moving in the right direction.
Each Sunday night or Monday morning, I put together a weekly email that some very wonderful people receive as they pray for me and what I am doing throughout the week. In my email I outline what I will be doing and when.
I have just admitted in that email that I do not know what I am doing! Now many of you have probably been aware of this for a while, in fact a lot of you will be saying something along the lines of ‘well … no change there then!’
While this used to worry me, I have surprised myself by how relaxed I now feel about this statement.
I might not know what I am doing, but I do know what it is that I am trying to achieve. I don’t quite know how to achieve it, but I do have a direction to go in. I don’t quite know where that direction is taking me, but there are landmarks to follow.
I started thinking about this last week. A number of people have visited over the last 10 days or so and one asked me an interesting question last week. They asked ‘as you do your ‘stuff’ which character from the bible do you relate to, or think of, the most?’
Without too much thought I responded with Issac, the son of Abraham. It seemed Issac travelled around a lot in the desert. If we read his story in Genesis it is easy to think that he just aimlessly wanders around the desert with no real plan. It was because of this image I had of him that I was drawn to him. But, as I looked more closely I discovered that although Issac does wander looking for pastures for his sheep, he does not wander aimlessly. Instead, he wanders between the wells that his dad, Abraham, had already dug when he wandered the desert. This wells had since beens sealed, so Issac had to re-open them and re-dig them until he found fresh water that he could use for himself. (you can read all about this in Genesis 26)
As I considered more the story of Issac I came to see similarities with my journey. Often my journey seems pretty desert like. But, instead of looking for water, I am looking for something from within christian tradition that needs to be re-dug, rediscovered and reinterpreted for today so that is is as refreshing as good clean water in a thirsty desert. As a pioneer (a term I am increasingly coming to dislike) I am not always looking for something new …. I am looking for something that has been there for centuries, but has merely been buried under layers of christendom, consumerism, modernity, post modernism …. (I could go on…) and needs rediscovering for today.
So … I am not quite sure what I am doing, but I do know that I am searching … and I am also looking for others that are searching
the search goes on …
A little while ago Karen Ward asked if I would be interviewed and talk about what I do to be used as part of an introduction to a mission shaped cathedrals project in America. This is the video that was put together skillfully by Tim and used at the conference.
The video features people at 3 cathedrals: Steve Clarke at Gloucester, Sue Wallace at York and myself. I think it’s a good video which gives a good account of what we are trying to do.
I simply had an amazing day today; and I look back on the day and I am not sure whether I am excited or terrified … and maybe it is a mixture of the two.
I was invited to a conversation that was being held with leaders of traditional Anglican monastic communities and leaders of small missional communities in the CofE that draw on a New Monastic basis. It was in the latter category that I was invited … in case you thought something had happened that you were unaware of.
I am not sure whether the gathering would call itself a new monastic community or whether we think of ourselves in that way. Certainly as a community we want to be able to live a life of integrity where our actions support our words. We are a missional community that wants to engage with the needs in the community around us. We are quite diverse and yet united by a desire to travel the journey together and we hope we will be able to achieve this, in part, as we develop our rhythm of life. Taking all that together it does sound like we may have some monastic tendencies …. but what we develop into may be something different. Hey … I don’t even know what tomorrow will bring, let alone what we will be next year!
I met up with some good friends today and was able to catch up, and I made a number of new friends which I always enjoy to do.
The format of the day was great. People told their story and in tables we chatted about the story as we sought to learn from each other and hear what is happening. My table had a good mix of people from new monastic and traditional monastic communities – so the conversation was always good.There were two particularly exciting things for me that I noticed throughout the day:
God seems to be saying similar things to diverse groups of people. On my table I had the delight of meeting Sister Mary David from the Benedictine Community of West Malling. She noted that each community, traditional and ‘new’, was very different but that all were trying to live out a faith authentically.
I was particularly encouraged by each person sharing how small their community was. I guess from the web it is easy to think that things are a lot larger than they really are and this, in turn, can cause you to feel pretty inadequate. As someone involved in a small community I was quite encouraged to hear others being and doing in small groups as well. I was also challenged by others who are living in some pretty scary places and even being shot at for their faith! I am not sure I have the courage for that!
I was struck by a few ‘gems’ of wisdom during the day:
On our table, I guess, I was keen to learn from those who have been in monastic orders for a while. We had 4 nuns on our table and when asked about sustainability we were given two bits of advice – the need to be flexible and adaptable to what is happening around you in the world and the community and change accordingly. Holding onto things and practices too preciously was not going to be honouring to God. The other ‘secret’ of sustainability was the need to take risks – a number of the traditional communities have needed to change location or how they work … and some of those changes have been very risky!
Another ‘gem’ regarding a rule of life. One sister, Joyce, spoke of the rule of life as ‘not a fence but a well to draw from and be refreshed by’ while Sister Mary David spoke of it as a ‘trellis that helps us to grow and supports us’. I find both of those images both powerful and helpful to myself as I wrestle with ‘stuff’.
I’ve already said the day was amazing. There is a lot we can learn from each other and I am really excited that these conversations will continue in some way. I am also pretty scared …. at what the outcome may entail.
Thanks everyone, particularly Ian and Abbot Stuart, for making this such an amazing day.
I have recently stumble across, via TSK, the blog of Jamie the very worst missionary. IT makes quite refreshing reading.
Here, I think, we have a woman who is committed to her calling but also committed to sharing the grittiness of her life as a missionary in Costa Rica. Some of her blog posts make you laugh, some like ‘I have a heart for you’ (written on Feb 14th) bring me close to tears.
Too often people in mission gloss over the crap and stuff and share just the exciting bits, just the ‘victories’ and just the bits they think people want to hear. jamie says it as it is ‘crap n all’. I shall be following Jamie from now on as God clearly beams out of her writings. Why not go check it out…
The Tautoko weekend was amazing. Great people, great food, great location, great discussions, great wine, great whisky …. and amazing cocktails!
The conversations and networking are always the best part of any get together – and that is what this weekend was full of; no sessions with ‘experts’ or ‘specialists’ telling us what we should think. Instead, a series of conversations around the questions that we brought with us as a result of who we are, where we are and what we are doing.
There were so many great group and 1:1 conversations that I still need to think more about but I guess I was particularly caused to think in the first group conversation I took part in which was something like ‘where do we go next missionally and how do we encourage each other. Someone suggested that Liberation Theology has something to offer us here. Liberation Theology makes an assumption that there is something in need of liberating in every situation, and so asks the question of each context, ‘what needs liberating here?’
So … I have started to think, in the situations I am working in, what is there that needs liberating …. and what does it need liberating from? If I am called to serve the people and within the situations I come across then asking ‘what here needs liberating’ is probably a good question to be asking. It certainly helps me with that ‘what now/next?’ question that seems to keep propping up in a world where I increasingly see less of what is coming just around the corner. The upside of that is that there are lots of surprises!
There is more to come … but I am off for coffee to think a little more on this liberation stuff …
… but before I do I want to say THANKS to everyone that was there …. this is by far one of the best Christian gatherings I have ever been to … simply due to its relevance, its openness and everyones acceptance that we are all in this together and all learning together …. thanks for being such a great bunch of people!
The Shiny Headed Prophet 