Each Sunday night or Monday morning, I put together a weekly email that some very wonderful people receive as they pray for me and what I am doing throughout the week. In my email I outline what I will be doing and when.
I have just admitted in that email that I do not know what I am doing! Now many of you have probably been aware of this for a while, in fact a lot of you will be saying something along the lines of ‘well … no change there then!’
While this used to worry me, I have surprised myself by how relaxed I now feel about this statement.
I might not know what I am doing, but I do know what it is that I am trying to achieve. I don’t quite know how to achieve it, but I do have a direction to go in. I don’t quite know where that direction is taking me, but there are landmarks to follow.
I started thinking about this last week. A number of people have visited over the last 10 days or so and one asked me an interesting question last week. They asked ‘as you do your ‘stuff’ which character from the bible do you relate to, or think of, the most?’
Without too much thought I responded with Issac, the son of Abraham. It seemed Issac travelled around a lot in the desert. If we read his story in Genesis it is easy to think that he just aimlessly wanders around the desert with no real plan. It was because of this image I had of him that I was drawn to him. But, as I looked more closely I discovered that although Issac does wander looking for pastures for his sheep, he does not wander aimlessly. Instead, he wanders between the wells that his dad, Abraham, had already dug when he wandered the desert. This wells had since beens sealed, so Issac had to re-open them and re-dig them until he found fresh water that he could use for himself. (you can read all about this in Genesis 26)
As I considered more the story of Issac I came to see similarities with my journey. Often my journey seems pretty desert like. But, instead of looking for water, I am looking for something from within christian tradition that needs to be re-dug, rediscovered and reinterpreted for today so that is is as refreshing as good clean water in a thirsty desert. As a pioneer (a term I am increasingly coming to dislike) I am not always looking for something new …. I am looking for something that has been there for centuries, but has merely been buried under layers of christendom, consumerism, modernity, post modernism …. (I could go on…) and needs rediscovering for today.
So … I am not quite sure what I am doing, but I do know that I am searching … and I am also looking for others that are searching
the search goes on …