Category Archives: community

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Meghan has now been on placement with me for 2 weeks and one of the many advantages is that her visit has caused me to think about how I am linked in with other communities and how I am ‘sustained’ and so tonight we visited the Moot community.

Visiting Moot on Sunday night was an experience like ‘coming home’ for me. The experience of being back within a community that really ‘understands’ and ‘gets’ what I am about because we are all on a similar journey was really quite affirming and strengthening.

I loved my time with the moot community and I hope to be able to start to visit again on a more regular basis. For info and an exciting vision check out the moot video here.

lack of O2 killing me …?

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I thought yesterday was quite an interesting day if you were an O2 customer. There was a theft, or vandalism (or if you re into conspiracy theories … MI5 took down the network in connection with terrorist threats to the queen) or something that meant that the O2 network was ‘down’ for around half a day.

It was interesting because I got sucked into reading peoples comments on the support website. I went to see what the status update was and there were demands after demands for compensation, comments on how disastrous this was, and people very angry because they were unable to send or receive texts. I liked this comment in particular:

Comments = hilarity.
“Send everyone a text to tell them the network is down” – genius, pure genius.
“I pay £25 a month and I want compensation” – What are you going to do with your 83p? Don’t spend it all at once!
“I have a child in school” – generations of children went to school every day before mobile phones were invented. Most of them came home in one piece. They’ll be fine.
It’s almost worth the outage for the funnies. Good work, people – your self-inflicted misery is hilarious!

and this one really did make me laugh:

I have a date tonight and was meant to confirm the time and place… I’m stuck at work with just my phone on me that doesn’t work… what am I meant to do… is o2 going to compensate me for lost social life.. or even physical endulgence..

and the most sensible of all:

‘shut up … it’s only for one day!’

I was interested by two things in all this –

It seems we are becoming more and more of a ‘compensation’ culture. The cries for compensation on the support website are loud and numerous numerous, even though the person above asks ‘what will you do with your 83p refund?’ It seems we have come to expect a service and we don’t get that service then we have a right to be compensated. I don’t think that is a particularly pleasant side of our culture. I’m not sure what is says about where we are going as people … apart from always looking to transfer blame for our stresses onto other people. O2 gets blamed for a lot of stuff on the website … such as a persons decision to leave the arrangements for a date to the very last minute!

More interesting, though, is that it would seem that a large number of people, myself included, have allowed ourselves to become quite dependant on our mobile phones and communication structures. I wrote a while ago about the practice i notice when just sitting around of people, by habit, taking out their mobile phones every few minutes to see if they have missed a message. A friend responded that he felt connected and in community through his phone which is why he often checked. I guess if people feel connected through their phone then that would explain the anxiety for many yesterday … they were unconnected, they could not text, they could not be texted, they were no longer under the illusion of being in control – they were alone!

Did so many people really feel alone yesterday … is that why there was so much stress flying around?

something’s different!

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We are in Holy Week and the setting of the cathedral has changed a little.
Neil has had a new altar made which looks stunning in its setting at the centre of the nave.
The chairs have been moved so that we all sit closer to each other and looking at each other – which is pretty major for the cathedral which is used to sitting in rows facing the front which has the choirs and altar separating the congregation and clergy.

I much prefer the st up we have for this week because I think it says a lot about how we as church try to be. Sitting very close and seeing each other can be awkward and strange. Smiles can develop as people look at each other unexpectedly. The sense of closeness and awkwardness says a lot to me about community and family as well as giving just a taste of the awkwardness and confusion that the disciples must have felt in these last few days before Christ was crucified.

If you don’t normally come to the cathedral why not drop in and see what you think …. if you want to experience worship in this setting you can see this weeks services here ….. we could always go for a drink after!

a monastic conversation

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I simply had an amazing day today; and I look back on the day and I am not sure whether I am excited or terrified … and maybe it is a mixture of the two.

I was invited to a conversation that was being held with leaders of traditional Anglican monastic communities and leaders of small missional communities in the CofE that draw on a New Monastic basis. It was in the latter category that I was invited … in case you thought something had happened that you were unaware of.

I am not sure whether the gathering would call itself a new monastic community or whether we think of ourselves in that way. Certainly as a community we want to be able to live a life of integrity where our actions support our words. We are a missional community that wants to engage with the needs in the community around us. We are quite diverse and yet united by a desire to travel the journey together and we hope we will be able to achieve this, in part, as we develop our rhythm of life. Taking all that together it does sound like we may have some monastic tendencies …. but what we develop into may be something different. Hey … I don’t even know what tomorrow will bring, let alone what we will be next year!

I met up with some good friends today and was able to catch up, and I made a number of new friends which I always enjoy to do.

The format of the day was great. People told their story and in tables we chatted about the story as we sought to learn from each other and hear what is happening. My table had a good mix of people from new monastic and traditional monastic communities – so the conversation was always good.There were two particularly exciting things for me that I noticed throughout the day:

God seems to be saying similar things to diverse groups of people. On my table I had the delight of meeting Sister Mary David from the Benedictine Community of West Malling. She noted that each community, traditional and ‘new’, was very different but that all were trying to live out a faith authentically.

I was particularly encouraged by each person sharing how small their community was. I guess from the web it is easy to think that things are a lot larger than they really are and this, in turn, can cause you to feel pretty inadequate. As someone involved in a small community I was quite encouraged to hear others being and doing in small groups as well. I was also challenged by others who are living in some pretty scary places and even being shot at for their faith! I am not sure I have the courage for that!

I was struck by a few ‘gems’ of wisdom during the day:

On our table, I guess, I was keen to learn from those who have been in monastic orders for a while. We had 4 nuns on our table and when asked about sustainability we were given two bits of advice – the need to be flexible and adaptable to what is happening around you in the world and the community and change accordingly. Holding onto things and practices too preciously was not going to be honouring to God. The other ‘secret’ of sustainability was the need to take risks – a number of the traditional communities have needed to change location or how they work … and some of those changes have been very risky!

Another ‘gem’ regarding a rule of life. One sister, Joyce, spoke of the rule of life as ‘not a fence but a well to draw from and be refreshed by’ while Sister Mary David spoke of it as a ‘trellis that helps us to grow and supports us’. I find both of those images both powerful and helpful to myself as I wrestle with ‘stuff’.

I’ve already said the day was amazing. There is a lot we can learn from each other and I am really excited that these conversations will continue in some way. I am also pretty scared …. at what the outcome may entail.

Thanks everyone, particularly Ian and Abbot Stuart, for making this such an amazing day.

kester on community

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(apologies for being a bit behind the time here is finding this post)
Kester writes quite a provocative post here on Christian community.
As the gathering we are seeking to develop ‘community’ so maybe we should discuss this some time over the next few weeks.
Do we gather around an absence?
If not, what or who do we gather around?

a ‘spoons meeting

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Last night I attended the first ‘customer liaison meeting’ at my local wetherspoons. I thought it was quite well attended and it was interesting to hear what customers thought of how the pub was being run alongside hearing the vision of the senior staff for the pub to become ‘a local pub’ that interacts with the community in ways that ‘the local’ does. It was great because the senior staff clearly care what their customers think.

It was good to be a part of this meeting and hear the views of other people. It was quite fascinating to see how different people saw things differently. Personally I think most of the staff do a great job – after all I have had no hassle from them about sitting there throughout most mornings over the last 2 years!  From a gathering and personal point of view the meeting was good too as Nick, the pub manager, thought it would be a good idea to reserve some tables for us for pub theology which will now be happening on the last Monday of every month. This will make things slightly less worrying but also to have the ‘blessing’ of the management is, I think, quite important.  The next pub theology is next Monday, 27th. September and there will be people there 7.00pm although it is easy to get in on the conversation whenever you arrive.

I really enjoy being connected to the community of this pub. I hope even more that the vision of the staff becomes a reality and if there is any role for a pioneer priest in supporting them … well that could be quite interesting!

Right … well I’m off to ‘spoons for a coffee …. or maybe a root beer and if I stay longer then they have a nice looking porter on tap!

early reflections from Seatac

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I’m sitting at the airport in Seattle with time to kill so thought i would use the time to mull over some immediate reflections on my past 3 weeks here with COTA.

There are things that I think I can transport across the Atlantic and try out almost straight away. I suppose I am surprised by this as I only came looking for principles. I did not think things that are domne here would transport into British culture all that well.  But, I think I have come away with pub theology and sacred cocktails as real possibilities in a Medway setting, albeit with a little alteration here and there to take account iof cultural differences – not so much US and UK but more Seattle and Medway. I have no problem with the idea and name of Sacred Cocktails, but I suppose I do wonder whether ‘Pub Theology’ as a name may put people off, or may make it sound a lot more academic that it is. Drinking beer and talking about God (which is essentially what theology is) is not that great a title either … so, readers – any suggestions?

I have been thinking along the pub thing for a while I guess but thinking I need others to help plan. I have seen at COTA that a topic only needs to be chosen, and the date, time and location can be shared on Facebook. If people come they come and a discussion happens, if they don’t, then it doesn’t. I think I am going to go ahead and see if this will work in our local setting – if no one tries then we will never know – I do seem to know a lot of people that like to talk spirituality/theology/about God AND drink beer … so who knows!

I think I have had a COTA insight, as well, into principles of community building. COTA seems to have always set out to build a community rather than looking to plant a church. Community, friendship, caring for each other are all quite central to COTA. They are not perfect, and they would be at the front of the line of people to say that, but they do community pretty well. They know how to eat and party, but i think that has a lot to do with being a church of under 30’s, which add an excitement to church that is lacking in some places. These people like to hang out together, so giving opportunitiers for community to grow in this way is important.

I think, as well, though that this aspect showed me that COTA knows how to party, but they also talk about fasting  but have not worked out how to do this yet. That’s an observation that they are aware of ratehr than a criticism and it speaks of balance more than anything else. I don’t think COTA is unbalanced (far from it!),  but it could be at risk of becoming so if things like fasting are not explored. For our community in Medway, we need to grow community but also look to a balance in how we operate and work out our spirituality.

I said these were early reflections – I possibly have more but then this nlog would be long and I have 10 hours on a plane ahead in which I can reflect more!

I believe as time goes on this experience is going to ooze more and more thoughts and reflections into my mind and possibly yhis blog, and hopefully into my practice.

If all goes well, in 2 hours I will be in the air and on my way home – I’m really looking forward to seeing my family!

Day 16: a real American home

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I have had more great conversations today and I am really being struck by peoples willingness to give up time to meet with me and share their story of how they became involved with COTA. Today I ahve met up with Meghan and then later in the day with Brian.

It has been great to listen to their stories and discover how they became part of COTA. Meghan and Brian were my last two interviews. Over the next few days I hope to use the time to review the interviews and experience of COTA, as well as write a homily for Sunday’s service.

The day ended with sharing a meal with one of the community groups. We had dinner, drank, laughed and shared stories and I very quickly felt part of the group. Outside of my host home, this was the first real American home I had been invited into and so it was quite a special time – the food and company where pretty cool too! It’s a shame that experiences like these are always over too quickly … but thank you people for the invite and kindness.

a different perspective

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I experienced worship in the cathedral from a different perspective today. I was not on the rota for anything and so chose to sit in the congregation.

I thought it might be odd sitting in the congregation rather than being ‘up front’ and being involved in a public way. The very thought that I might find it odd worried me which was why I was keen to sit with others. I guess I felt it was a bit like deciding not to drink alcohol on a Friday night just to prove to yourself that you had not become addicted. I sat in the congregation on Sunday to check whether I was becoming addicted to being seen up front – and I am glad to say it never felt strange at all. In fact it felt a very normal place to be. I think ordination in the Church of England leaves us susceptible to feelings of self importance through processions, robes, sitting up front and so on when we all know that we are called to serve others in our church communities

I have reflected on that feeling and it suggests to me that, without realising it, that I do very much feel a part of the cathedral community. It’s interesting that while I am trying to work with others to build a new community, that I am doing this from a happy position of being welcomed into an already established community. I guess that is quite normal as we all exist in a variety of communities rather than one anyhow.

hit by the porter!

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Its been another study day which has worked quite well. I achieved the aim of finishing reading, again, the rule of life of St Benedict. The rule is challenging, but I like the way the rule seems to be all encompassing. It relates to everything from meal times, what to wear and so on because St Benedict saw no distinction between secular and spiritual. This rule of life works from the premise that everything is important to God and so everything needs to be taken account of.

Some things hit me today which I had not noticed before, probably because I zipped through the final few rules last time. Many people are aware that hospitality is a particular hallmark of Benedictine spirituality. Rule 66 is all about the porter.

This rule starts like this: ‘At the door of the monastery place a sensible old man who knows how to take a message and deliver a reply, and whose age keeps him from roaming about.’ There seems to be a bit of Benedictine humour there with images this portrays.

The porters role is to be the first response to visitors. He is the connection between the community and the outside world as the rest of the community would not leave the monsatery often if at all. I think Esther de Waal sums this up well in her commentary on the rule: ‘the porter stands on the edge, based in the enclosure and yet greeting the world outside. So in him we are watching the holding together of desert and marketplace, cloister and world.

I like and very much relate to the idea of standing on the edge and it reminds me of the doorkeeper poem I linked to here 5 years ago.

In particular I have struck and challenged in my thinking over the actual greeting itself from the porter to whoever may knock on the door. His first response is to thank God for bringing a visitor. Then sometime in the encounter the porter is to ask for the blessing of the visitor. When re-reading this rule it hit me that Benedict is saying that hospitality, welcome, care needs to be 2 way. It’s something about all being able to give and receive.

It does not take a big imagination to realise that a lot of the visitors to the monastery would be those who needed help with food, clothing or so on. Many would have been excluded from society, thought of as worthless. The porter, however, sees the face of Jesus and asks the visitor for a blessing. This would immediately show the visiting person that they had a role and had value.

I have been wondering how I might take on this 2 sided view in my ministry and in encounters with people. IN particular I have been thinking about those that ask me to pray for them. I have shared that I am uncomfortable as this gives an impression that my prayers are is some way better, which is a mad idea. I wonder, however, if when I have such encounters that I should end them by making a request of them by asking them to remember me in their prayers as I need prayer as much as them?

I’m still pondering this – would such a response show value and respect, or would it confuse and alienate. It’s a pretty fine line I think?