Advent service …. and stuff

Advent started today.
Being at a cathedral it may be viewed as quite traditional inthe way this is celebrated, and I think this morning it pretty much was with the lighting of one of the candles in the Advent Wreath.

One of the thing that has ‘challenged’ me is that during the gradual hymn (I don’t know … google it!) some who are presiding stay seated while the congregation and choir stand. The rest of the ministers follow what the priest presiding does. I have felt uncomfortable with the sitting thing and so when presiding I would always stand. This week that changed as everyone sits as, I learned today, this particular hymn is to be sung as we relfect on the reading we have just listened to. The sitting thing make ssense now.

This evening we celebrated Advent again and the service, although traditional in a setting of nine lessons and Advent hymns and antiphons was stunning in its creativity and journey. Neil, the Precentor (person in cathedral responsible for all worship – and very good at it) designed a service where the boys and girls choirs sung from different parts of the cathedral, came together, and then separated again …. causing us to think and notice the journey from west to east and we thought about Mary and Joseph’s journey of similar direction.

The music and choreography tonight was quite stunning and powerful and gave an excellent example of how space can be used both powerfully and meaningfully. It also illustrated how spolit we are in the cathedral with the standard of choirs that we are blessed with.

Tonight I was excited because I came away with ideas that I think would work in a traditional building but in a pioneering or fresh expression setting. As a  pioneer I am often mistaken as someone that wants to throw everything out and bring in totally new stuff, when actually I think it is more about looking at our tradition and reframing in a way that is meaningful and engaging for 21st century people that are searching for God but don’t normally feel able to find him in church as it is.

more on women bishops

Maggi points to some petitions supporting women bishops. You can sign these if you, like me, want to see this happen as soon as possible, and as equal bishops with the other bishops that already hold office – rather than the ridiculous idea thought up by someone who though it acceptable to have women bishops on a different (lesser!!) level than men bishops. A bishop is a bishop, male or female, is equal in the sight of God and as soon as people get to grips with that then the better for us all!

Anyway to sign go click a link below depending on who you are:
you will sign something like: ‘we ….support having women as bishops on the same basis as men are bishops and we urge the Revision Committee to prepare the draft legislation with a code of practice, as requested by General Synod in July 2008, in time for General Synod in February 2010.’

For women clergy sign here

For men clergy sign here

For the laity (male or female!!!) sign here

I guess this is a good place as ny to answer those people who have shown surprise that I have not commented on this offer from the Roman Catholic church. I guess I have not commented because, to be frank, I’m not really that interested. If people wish to leave a church that embraces diversity and welcomes discussion and join one where one person is allowed to make all decisions unchallenged then so be it.

The reason I mention it here is because it is my honest hope that this will enable General Synod to go back to its original decision which agreed women bishops without alternative arrangements. The pope has made this offer to help out those who oppose the move … so I don’t wish to be insensitive but can we please move on now to what the overwhelming majority of Synod voted on after due though, discussion and prayer.

I look forward to our first woman bishop … be great of it was in Rochester!!! Shame it won’t be 😦

temporary communication loss!

I don’t like dentists!
I think lots of people may agree with me.
Why would anyone want to do that job?
It seems quite bizarre to me!

For the last two Mondays, and next Monday, I have been to the dentist, not something I enjoy. Actually that is an understatement! A filling fell out in the summer and the dentist wanted to clean and do other things and so is stretching out 2 hours of work into four visits which I guess makes sense.

Why is it that so many dislike the dentist? In my case I thought it was the pain – but actually there is no pain. I’ve often come to the conclusion at the end that I made a lot of fuss and worry beforehand over nothing. The techniques they use today do seem to limit, if not totally eliminate, pain.

If it is not the pain then what else makes me uncomfortable? I wonder, ctually, if it is the loss of my ability to communicate? I wondered about the intrusivity of the dentist, but doctor visits are just as intrusive but I do not experience fear when I go to the doctor. I also wondered about the loss of control over what happens to me, but again with a doctor I am not in control of what happens.

The loss of communication, however, seems to be quite scarey to many people. The knowledge that I can’t communicate with the dentist when he his working inside my mouth and the inability to have a normal conversation when so close to another human being, is quite alien. I think the lack of interaction causes me to feel uncomfortable to a point that is is a worry. Today the room was silent as the dentist worked and that was very very odd.

As the drill drilled today and I could do nothing but stare at the ceiling I was surprised to find myself reflecting on the fear that many I chat with actually have of the church. This seems to essentially boil down to a real fear (which many have actually experienced) that their voice will not be heard, that things will be done ‘to them’ without any way of them communicating, giving feedback or making their views known. A fear that stuff will be delivered to them and that they have to accept it without question. This fear is a fear that no matter what I will be squeezed this way and assimilated that way rather than listened to and be part of and included in making a difference.

It’s really difficult, and I think we are seeing this as a community, but to be genuine and honest and accepting to and of each other means not only listening to each other and ensuring that each other has a voice, but it is also about being willing to change and act differently as a response to that voice. A commitment to journey together has implicit within it a commitment to change.

a different perspective

I experienced worship in the cathedral from a different perspective today. I was not on the rota for anything and so chose to sit in the congregation.

I thought it might be odd sitting in the congregation rather than being ‘up front’ and being involved in a public way. The very thought that I might find it odd worried me which was why I was keen to sit with others. I guess I felt it was a bit like deciding not to drink alcohol on a Friday night just to prove to yourself that you had not become addicted. I sat in the congregation on Sunday to check whether I was becoming addicted to being seen up front – and I am glad to say it never felt strange at all. In fact it felt a very normal place to be. I think ordination in the Church of England leaves us susceptible to feelings of self importance through processions, robes, sitting up front and so on when we all know that we are called to serve others in our church communities

I have reflected on that feeling and it suggests to me that, without realising it, that I do very much feel a part of the cathedral community. It’s interesting that while I am trying to work with others to build a new community, that I am doing this from a happy position of being welcomed into an already established community. I guess that is quite normal as we all exist in a variety of communities rather than one anyhow.

Farewells

Yesterday was a special day in the cathedral, the warmth from which I will remember for quite a while. We said ‘farewell’ to our Archdeacon, Peter Lock, who really is an outstanding bloke. I’ve only known him for a year but the encouragement he has given, and the expertise he has shared has been second to none.

Lots of stories were told – but there was a common theme. Peter has real skill with people. He is able to cut through complex issues with wisdom and has the respect of everyone I know. Despite being responsible for a large area, with loads of vacancies, he always seem to be able to make time for peo[ple, even a lowly 1st year curate.

Most of all this is a man of deep and infectious joy. Loads of people are going to miss Peter being around, and I’ll be on of them.

the church of perpetual experimentation


A couple of people have pointed me to this on You Tube.
Quite interesting.

Grace


Saw this cartoon over at ASBO Jesus yesterday which I commented on along the lines of, sadly, that people even forget they have locked this gift away. Jon commented back that they’ve even forgotten where its been locked away.

I need to ask the question – how did this happen?
Where did it go so wrong?
When did doctrine, appearance, skin tone, …..(insert your own) replace grace?

2 privileges, 1 surprise and a beer!

I have had both a privilege and surprise today and both have centred around the cathedral.

I ahd the privilege of presiding at the Eucharist this morning. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to do and this morning I think I was able to start to put aside my concerns of how I was doing things and be able to partly attempt to be worshiping God. (I wonder if I will ever be totally able to as the knowledge that I have to sing the opening three lines of the liturgy!) There is also the question of when taking some form of lead in worship is it ever possible to fully enter into the activity of worship.

I’ll try to illustrate this point with my second ‘privilege’ and this has by no means been an isolated incident for me over the past year or so. Tonight I went to Choral Evensong and there have been occasions that whole the choir has sung I have lost myself in God. Tonight was one of those nights, but thankfully it was not before I read from the bible. I do remember one occasion a few months back when this occurred and I was suddenly conscious of a silence and eyes looking at me, awaiting the word of God to be read! The music on that occasion, and also this evening, had somehow enabled me to pull myself into the presence of God so that I really did not want to leave. we are privileged to have such talented choristers at the cathedral.

This morning I had a surprise. On Thursday one of the guys I talk to a lot in the pub said he wanted to come to the service on Sunday. This was the same guy who came to the ordination service a couple of weeks ago. Well, maybe I should not have been, but I was surprised to see him there this morning in the third row. I wonder if it means that the presence of a vicar in the pub every day for 11 months has had some small part in reigniting something deep within him that he wishes to explore? I don’t know, maybe it is, maybe its something else and maybe it is a variety of things. It will be interesting to chat with him next week explore what he thought and why he came?

Well with all that thinking …. I’m now off for a beer!

a ticket

Today was a pretty normal day, apart from one incident that has pretty much amazed me and is leaving me a little confused.

One of the regulars at the pub said on Friday that they would like tickets to come to the ordination service on Saturday. This was after I outlined to the group in our general conversation how long the service could be and what it entailed. Others had already said they would like to come, but other events are happening in Medway that day, such as the Armed Forces day which looks to be a major event. A number of these men are spoke to are ex-military and so they are involved or going to this event.

I sat today in my normal place and the man who wanted tickets was not there. He is always there and so this concerned me a little. I was surprised, but hoped that he was not embarrassed that he had asked and now was trying to avoid me. I decided that was daft as he is the sort of guy who would easily and calmly say something else had come up.

Just as I was leaving the guy turned up – he was running late and said he was worried that he may have missed me before asking if I had two tickets for him. He now has them and is looking forward to coming to the cathedral.

I’m not sure what is happening here; is this a desire to support me, is it intrigue at what a service will look like, or is this an opportunity to visit the cathedral knowing it will ok because he has tickets to come in? Is there a certain security in having tickets to enter a church building? Does the possession of a ticket make stepping over that threshold all the more easier? Does having a ticket signify being a guest, with the knowledge and security that being a guest goes hand in hand with being welcomed? Does the ticket simply show those checking tickets that you have a right to be here because someone has given you one of their tickets?

I’m unsure about the answer, if there is one, and maybe it is a combination of the three – whatever, I still find it quite interesting that someone that would not attend church normally wants to attend what could be quite a long service.

half a day in the life of a curate

Another interesting day today which looked to have ‘traditional curate’ type day written all over it.

After morning prayer the day continued with my regular review meeting with Adrian. We chatted a little about my essay and a lot about the priesthood. He asked some interesting and challenging questions – such as ‘after priesting will I be different in W/spoons?’. After reflection I am not sure. It’s easy to react and say ‘no, I’ll just continue the same’ or even ‘yes, I’ll feel different and so act different!’

The truth is I don’t know as I don’t really know what is going to happen, how I am going to feel. I did not think ordination as a deacon would really effect how I felt … but it did. Something happened! I don’t think I am talking ontological change, but I’m not just talking functional or role change either? I prayed, made promises, and asked God to give me strength to carry out certain tasks, and something happened!

I’m still processing all this stuff and think I will continue to doso.

So – how I will act in w/spoons following this and how people will react to me is still quite a big unknown. I know as we get closer to the priesting in June there is an increasing feeling of being incomplete within me. It’s hard to explain and express. It’s a little like knowing there is a need to move on.

Following this I met with Jean and we chatted about mission and stuff. We put together a way forward for engaging with next years sweeps festival which I am quite keen to explore.

I then spent some time ‘rehearsing’ the eucharist service with Neil. I will celebrate my first eucharist as a priest in the cathedral the day after I am ordained. I feel ok about this at the moment, but I know the nervousness will increase as the day gets closer. Going through stuff with Neil today was incredibly useful. Despite sitting through many eucharists over the last few months, I was surprised how much there is to learn.

After this I met with Matthew for lunch. Matthew is a priest and my small group leader from KCME. WE had a great chat about how things are going. Another good time.