simple trust

IMG_1161Yesterday was a good day.

I caught up with Sister Diane, my spiritual director, and the new home of the Sisters of St Andrew in their new ‘pad’ in Gillingham. The new website is not up and running yet, and the centre is nearly ready to accept people on retreat as well as host people for away days … I could see the gathering may make good use of this space!

I particularly loved the new chapel … the pic I took do it no justice. The chapel is circular, with light streaming in from the point of the roof. I could have stayed and prayed their forever … well nearly!

My time with Diana is challenging and great as always. I shared some stuff with her that I have been mulling over … and I am always amazed at how this holy woman can cut right to the basic of stuff in seconds. I was particularly amazed today at her wisdom, understanding and ‘holiness’ which I do not use lightly.

Interestingly the 45 minute journey took two and a half hours as the Blackwall Tunnel was closed and caused a tailback. Although I arrived a little stressed, walking through the door seemed to bring an immediate calm. I guess that is why I love this community, and Sr Diane in particular, as they have a great and infectious acceptance of whatever may be which comes out of a deep and seemingly limitless trust of God.

And that was my message from Sr Diane today … just trust God … stop worrying about what may be …. trust God … don’t ask how you will achieve this …. trust God

So … I’ve been kicked back into shape by Sr Diane … and my task now is to gt out there and live a life that trusts God! Why is that so easy to run off the tongue when the reality is so arrrggghhhh!

time, vulnerability and grace

what's coming through the door?It’s been a bit of a key weekend with the gathering. We met again in the pub to talk more about our Rhythm of Life. It seems to be slowly taking shape. I think the speed that we are progressing at sometimes frustrates me …. but it is important that we get this right as this will be the trellis of our community as we use this to help us live our individual and collective lives as Christians in the 21st Century.

The aspiration we wrote together last night says:

‘To be a community that invests in friendship where all are valued, supported and cared for. We seek to be adventurous, open to each others creativity and give space to experience awe and wonder. The community will grow as we spend time together, so we will eat, drink and share together regularly.’

That sounds very much like us and what we aim to be as a group of people.

After the get together I got home and was on a bit of a ‘high’. As I reflected on this I realised that it was simply because I get to hang out with a group of people that I like and love loads. It’s a community where I feel I fit … and i think others have that feeling of ‘fitting’ and ‘being understood’ and simply ‘allowed to be who they are’ as well.

To grow as community we realise we need to spend a lot more time together …. both as small groups of friends and as the wider community together. This will be a massive time commitment that many probably do not have … but still we commit to this as our aspiration. As I look at the gospels, and see every significant time or event of Jesus is often set in the context of a meal …. then it seems to be the right and good thing to be aiming to do. I’m not sure why, but spending quality time together over a meal seems to have something sacred about it.

I think we also note that friendship, support, care,creativity …  are all words that describe things that require individuals to make themselves vulnerable and for the community to show grace. That excites me.

So … time, vulnerability and grace …. looking good!

commit to self!

imgresWe saw The Commitments tonight as a family. It was a pretty impressive show … i’m probably biased as it’s made up of a lot of music greats that I grew up with through school. It was also incredibly funny in places, which made it a ‘feel good’ kind of show.

I won’t give the storyline away … but I think the underlying themes are quite interesting and reflect a little of what I have been discussing with a few people for a little while. Interestingly, I think those themes are themes of accepting and being true to who are you along with a ‘commitment’ to doing the things that you enjoy and make you come alive.

I guess those two underlying themes could be described as the aspirations of many of us … to really honestly be ourselves and to do what we love doing. To link with other thoughts, both those require a pretty massive amount of vulnerability. Being real means being vulnerable … it’s much easier to wear our carefully crafted masks and pretend we are something that we are not.

On occasions, Richard Rohr’s thoughts just seem to drift in and gently bounce of the clouds of my thinking and add a little more substance. Today is one of those days as Richard Rohr writes:

Paul says it so well: “I shall know even as I am known” (1 Corinthians 13:12). In other words, you need to let yourself be known nakedly by God, no pretense, no dressing up. You are who you are who you are! No trying to make yourself something other than who you really are. All God can love is who you really are, because that’s the only you that really exists. All the rest is just in your head.

I can add …. that one person that Richard talks of as the person we really are, the only one that God can love …. well God already loves that person … completely. That’s real, unhinged, unstringed, decadent, elaborate, extravagant, foolish, ‘asking for trouble’ kind of love ….. but … hey … that’s the God I follow!

end hunger fast

logo_invertIm quite open about my views of the church I am ordained in. I love and hold to the frustration of St Augustine when he says ‘the church is a whore, but she’s our mother’.

I love the church … I’m convinced that the church is ‘of Christ’ …but sometimes she (that’s the church in case any of you sensitive types out there just thought I alluded to a feminine Christ figure!) frustrates the hell out of me. But today … after my sadness earlier in the week I am incredibly proud to be part of the Anglican set up.

It’s an amazing step, and such a right step, to see the Bishops letter signed by 27 Anglican bishops, challenging the government on the horrible reality of poverty in our country. The letter starts; ‘Britain is the world’s seventh largest economy and yet people are going hungry’ before then mentioning ‘one in five mothers report regularly skipping meals to better feed their children’. That tugs a heart string … I have met some of those mothers in Gillingham High Street … mums that would love to work, but there are no jobs, mums that want the best for their children, and put themselves last.

‘There is an acute moral imperative to act’ is the challenge the bishops give … and indeed there is. The bishops are taking a great step by going public like this. Some will roll out the old saying of ‘church should keep out of politics’ (In fact that was tweeted to me only last week by a prospective MP candidate!) but that betrays a lack of understanding of the gospels, and in particular the political figure of Christ. Christ tells stories to illustrate that our role in society is to stand up for, and help, the poor and those in need … not to ignore, stay silent or walk by on the other side.

The letter comes as part of the End Hunger Fast campaign which headlines with more shocking figures … ‘half a million people used food banks last year … while 5500 were admitted to hospital for malnutrition’. The campaign calls for a national fasting day on April 4th as one way of showing the government we, as a nation, want to see change.

In addition Church Urban Fund has put together this guide to the welfare reforms which outlines the changes and the consequences of them.

The time has come for the government, for Cameron and Clegg in particular, to stand up, admit this is not working, and act …. as Bishop Steven Cottrell says: ‘it’s scandalous in our society that we should need a single food bank, yet along hundreds of them’.

Lets join and pray and act with the aim of never needing a food bank again!

just be you

30-x-24-reclaimed-billboard-and-spray-paint-on-canvas-just-be-you-tiful-brush-pink-paintA couple of years ago I was fortunate enough to join with the CMS pioneer course for a module, as well as join them for one of their Wednesday lunchtime Pioneer Witness sessions.

The CMS Pioneer Leadership Training Course is an excellent looking course … and I’ve recommended it in the past and not so quietly wished it was an option when I was trained for ordained ministry. Although … there is always the MA which one day I must grasp … (any sponsors out there want to help me get my brain working again …?)

The reason I love this course is that it seems to acknowledge and echoes the reality that God places us and God uses us, with the gifts and interests that God has already given us, rather than leaving us thinking we need to know a lot more or develop new skills before we can be of any use to ourselves or God.

As an illustration I smile when I think back over my time in Rochester. I really did not know what to do or how to connect with people. I did know my particular passions; I like people, I love coffee, I love beer, I’m into football and love art. Those things make up the person that I am. I did not realise or understand how amazingly God would use those things in my life.

Three years into that Rochester thing, as I reflected I was forced to laugh with my spiritual director as we identified that, pretty amazingly, God was doing nothing more than allowing me to use what I was already interested in. So … I was sat a lot in the pub and in coffee shops. I have found some great friends in the art community who I still chat with now and had loads of conversations in the pub about football. The only other gift I really needed to develop was an understanding of what it means to be present and real, keeping integrity with people I had grown to love.

It seemed that God had created me with my interests and passions … and that is how God wanted to use me! Amazing to think that God used my love of beer, coffee, art and football … but he did. It continues today in Gillingham.

This month  the CMS Pioneer Friends update interviews Erika, who uses her passion for nails in her nail bar in a coffee space. I find that refreshing and amazing.

So … the point of my post today? If you are wondering how God is going to use you … ask yourself …

‘what am I already passionate about and interested in?’

… It’s likely that the stuff you are already doing, and loving doing, is the very thing that God wants to cultivate and grow and bless as you meet and link with others.

What this world, our personal communities, need are Christians that love life, love what they are doing, in that John 10:10 way … living life to the full … surely means enjoying life too. We talk of a hope in Christ … we need to live in the laughter and joy of that hope.

So … to speak simply … just be you!
God created you as you.
Surely …
That’s got to be enough!

love is just … err love!

love-inspirational-dailyThere seems to be a recurring theme of sadness over discrimination and treatment of people coming through my thoughts and writings at the moment. I have been aware for some time that one of the things that really does ignite my personal anger is seeing someone treated unjustly, unfairly and simply not being treated with respect.

This upsets me because one of the core theological beliefs that fires me is that we are ALL made in the image of God. While this does not mean we are divine in any way, it does mean we are unique in our relationship with God and it means we are all worthy of respect and love. Not only all of us individually, but all of us personally! If this is true then we cannot choose who to respect or treat fairly based on our opinions of colour, gender, sexuality, or any other personal features. If we are all created in the image of God, then we are all created in the image of God and  all of every person is created in the Image of God.

Yet … a lot of church discussions at the moment seem to be focussed on doctrine and behaviour, rather than this simple mutuality of being created in God’s image.

One thing in particular that has saddened me this week is the ‘pastoral’ letter from the House of Bishops. I was encouraged by Bishop Alan’s response here…. who quotes Sister Simone Campbell ‘following the gospel mens be not afraid, welcome everyone, hug them, welcome them close and live and love’. While that encourages me …. the blog of Rachel simply makes me weep … the reality of this situation is simply not good news.

Why is it so difficult to accept that love is love, and that, actually, none of us, whatever our sexuality, has ever had any choice about who we fall in love with! 

If it doesn’t look like Jesus, it’s not God!

christ centred community

imgresYesterday was one of those quiet but packed days that I often get as a pioneer. Quiet meaning that I never really talked significantly with anyone, and packed in that I was out most of the day, in the community, and engaging briefly with a variety of people in a variety of ways.

Following from yesterdays post I was painfully aware that i came across a lot of people who have not taken on board, maybe not even ever heard, that they were created, loved and fully accepted by their God. Today I came across raw unacceptance expressing itself in a steely commitment to a belief of inadequacy.

Everywhere I looked i seemed to see people that, in my opinion, seemed to be feeling that they are simply not good enough, not worthy of respect, worthless and useless. That thought makes me sad for this area, for people I am getting to know and for people I am looking to engage with.

Occasionally, and today being one of those occasions, I am asked to verbalise what it is that I am actually trying to achieve …. and the simple answer that comes is that ‘I am trying to build a Christ centred community’. We could ask and argue ‘what does that mean’, ‘isn’t that just a trendy name for church?’ or even ‘more meaningless Christian jargon’

Well maybe … but todays conversations and thinkings have made me think more seriously about booking a place on the Oasis conference titled: ‘Change makers: Building Holistic, Christ Centred Communities‘ …. the sessions do look pretty amazing…. and it won’t do any harm, and will probably result in a lot of cross fertilisation of ideas … so maybe i’ll see you there!

the face you had before you were born

urlI find today’s Richard Rohr comment strikes a nerve with me.

Your True Self is who you objectively are from the beginning, in the mind and heart of God, “the face you had before you were born,” as the Zen masters say. It’s who you were before you did anything right or anything wrong. It is your substantial self, your absolute identity, which can be neither gained nor lost by any technique, group affiliation, morality, or formula whatsoever’

Last week I spoke with the same Christian man I spoke of yesterday with the strong sexist and racist views. He outlined how he thought all babies were born evil and condemned to hell unless they ‘accepted Jesus as their personal lord and saviour’. He used the concept or ‘original sin’ to justify this. To me that doesn’t look much like Jesus so it can’t have anything to do with God.

Today I baptised a beautiful baby today called Toby. Toby is the son of Zoe and Tony who I married when I was a curate at the cathedral – my first wedding at the cathedral. This was one of those real privilege situations which do not come around very often. But … as I held Toby in my arms … to think of him in any other terms than blessing and perfection does not really have much of Jesus in it … so can it be of God?

I have never fully accepted or resonated with Augustine’s concept of original sin. If we look at the Genesis accounts, God looks at creation and says ‘it is good’; next God looks at humankind, who are created in God’s image, and says ‘they are VERY good’.

Our ORIGINAL state as humanity is one that God calls very good. Not just ‘good’ like the rest of creation, but ‘very good’ …. even better than creation. Just let that sink in a  minute …. I’ve tried and can’t …. I’ve seen some pretty amazing parts of God’s creation which are stunning …. and yet to hear, believe and accept that God thinks I am even better than them is a pretty mind blowing concept.

But … just because it is mind blowing … and hard to accept … does not neutralise the truth that it is so! 

I think that blows any ideas of the original-ness of sin or evil right out of the water, beyond the sea, over the mountains, through the stratosphere and into a totally different solar system! One that doesn’t exist! Rather than original sin I think we are created in original perfection or original blessedness, because this is our original state.

If we could fully accept and live our lives out of that … wouldn’t that be pretty amazing!

if it doesn’t look like Jesus, it’s not God!

imagesThis may come as a little shock … but I have avoided a lot of the mainstream evangelical mass produced Christian stuff over the last couple of years. I have done so because a lot of it simply leaves me feeling sad. What I interpret, read and hear as a lot of legalism of how one should act, dress, believe and behave worries me as I try to follow a God who is full of love, grace and acceptance.

Rather than being sad I smiled with delight when I came across this article in Christianity magazine by Steve Chalke. Some people will read no further because I am linking to Steve … it astounds me that a large part of the evangelical church here can, one minute hold someone like Steve up with pride and then, when he starts to challenge their thinking, dismiss him and refuse to take him seriously, even accusing him of being a heretic.

I loved reading Steve’s article as he simply asks us, ‘have we misread the bible?’ For a long time many have been saying so … but Steve is one of the first to stand up from within evangelicalism and challenge some strongly held, and in my opinion wrongly held, evangelical views. Steve challenges us to take the whole Bible seriously, and not just keep pulling out parts that support the argument we wish to represent.  ‘If we fail to take the whole bible seriously including those bits we find unpalatable or inconvenient’, says Steve, ‘we only pay lip service to its authority’. Despite what some might say, Steve is not watering down the Bible, but the exact opposite – he wants it taken in complete seriousness!

One important aid to interpretation that I loved comes from a simple saying, ‘if it doesn’t look like Jesus, it’s not God’. Jesus is both our guide to biblical interpretation and to life.

Last week I came into a conversation with a Christian man arguing with a young woman. He was quite foul in his attitude and language on top of extreme sexism and unpleasant racism thrown in as well. He backed his views up entirely with scripture … but my problem was … it didn’t look one iota like Jesus. The man expressed an ugly unattractive legalistic view of faith. It did not look like Jesus, so how can it of been God?

As Steve draws out the bible does not give us answers to a number of spiritual and moral issues. our task, as Christian community then, is to wrestle with the meaning of these words both honestly and humbly.

On a different, but very related note, I loved this article on Rachel’s blog. The way the bible has been misinterpreted to control and abuse woman has been something that angers rather than saddens me. Rachel’s article is cleverly written, light and humorous … but with a seriously deep challenge.

You see… this whole thing of taking stuff out of context and forgetting what Jesus is like means we become distorted to the point of ugliness in how we act as Christians. If we don’t look like the Jesus of the gospels then there is something seriously wrong … and when Christians stand outside clinics or airports with foul signs of hate and intimidation …. then something is very seriously wrong.

So … go read the articles – Steve’s here and Rachel’s here.

Then …. come back … and talk … there will be some of you that disagree!

overcome fear – embrace love

I loved reading the Archbishops Presidential Address to Synod …. some personal highlights to draw out:

the church is not a closed system because God is involved and where he is involved there is no limit to what can happen, and no limit to human flourishing.

The love has to be demonstrated and the trust has to be earned.  But the love cannot be demonstrated if it is refused and the trust cannot be earned without the iterative process of it being received and reinforced in the reception.

A church that loves those with whom the majority deeply disagree is a church that will be unpleasantly challenging to a world

When it (church) works well it works because love overcomes fear.  When it works badly it is because fear overcomes love.

The speech is worth reading in its completeness …. but the above quotes are highlights for me. They excite me because they talk of a church that is gritty and real … a church that wants to get its hands dirty and make a difference …. but a church that knows, in order to make that difference, it needs to unite and accept its diversity of opinion.

We don’t all agree but we are all on the same journey… we can all still love each other and move forward together! I don’t think Archbishop Justin is saying for one minute that we compromise or pretend …. that’s the gritty bit … he suggests that this will be hard and messy because moving forward together does not mean we all have to agree with each other. In our disagreement we can trust each other. When we trust each other we can achieve.

When we enter into competition or can’t accept disagreement we allow fear to prevent that achieving.

Round our dinner table last night we touched on this in a lateral way. My family got frustrated with me as I talked of being tired of hearing and writing clever sermons, or people making interesting points, or maybe even scoring points. I said I was tired of people who feel leadership is about ‘do what I say’ and ‘respect’ rather than how can we achieve this together to make a difference in this place. I said I was tired of people that want to control and dictate rather than let go, enable, set free and let God.

I just want to see transformation.
I don’t want to see revival across the nation, I don’t want to see churches packed out, I want to see people meeting Christ, people realising that no matter how crappy and hard their lives are that Christ does, will and can make a difference; not because Christ will take it all away and make it all better but because Christ stands in the crap with them and walks with them through it.
I want to see my little hard pressed forgotten and looked down upon community of Gillingham shine in the realisation of a grace and love that says …. ‘come … you are welcome … no need to change … no need to jump through hoops … no need for anything but yourself … just come’

If we can embrace love and overcome fear … well who knows … with God there is no limit to human flourishing …. so some of that dream might actually happen.

Want to join us???