God in the noise

Each morning I pray in the Ithamar Chapel before going out onto the streets of Rochester. Today I smiled a lot while I was praying as in the background I could hear the school groups playing tunes on bottles filled with water. when I say tunes… well it was more of a joyful noise.

There has been a bit of a conversation going on within the cathedral community with some showing concern that there is nowhere quiet to pray within the cathedral. My immediate reaction to this is that over the last 12 months I have never found that a problem. There is always ‘quiet’, maybe not silence. But, ‘should there be?’ was my almost immediate comeback at myself.

I understand and relate to people wanting quiet, but should a cathedral be a place that provides quite for people whenever they want it? I’ve thought about this and have come to think that as well as being virtually impossible to achieve it surely gives the wrong idea about how we talk and listen to God.

This morning was not quiet. It was, in fact, very noisy and it caused me to smile. It encouraged me to praise and pray to a God of disorder as well as order. The noise and experimentation reminded me as I prayed that God is a creative God, and that God has given us that creative gift in a variety of ways – the ability to create, amongst other things, noise.

After my prayer time I then went up to the nave and saw the children and heard the hub bub around the cathedral. This brought another smile as I thought – surely this is how we want our cathedral to be as well as calm and quiet. The children had looks of awe on their faces as they looked around and explored the spiritual space. The noise and the actions of the children seemed to enhance the spirituality of the space rather than distract from it. It brought a certain life and showed the cathedral to be a vibrant living space. It showed faith is till alive and relevant today.

It is right to have times of quiet in a busy 21st century lifestyle but I have a concern if we give the impression that quiet is always necessary for access to God. If we do give that impression then surely we tell those for whom quiet is a rarity that, essentially, they cannot hear or speak to their creator. The ability to ‘pray continually’ means that God is in the noise as well as in the silence.

God is in the noise as well as the silence, but more often than not we need to be able to understand how to approach God in the noise because noise is all there is.

preparation

A number of people have asked me ho I prepare myself to go to the same place over and over again, and some have asked if I pray before going out.

Over the last year, I have found that prayer, sitting with God, mulling over in God’s presence, crying to God …. whatever you wish to call it, or however you wish to do it, is quite vital for me to do before I go out.

A pattern over the 15/20 minutes before I go out has developed and I share it here in case it may be of use to get others started.

I spend the first 10 minutes or so just chilling with God. Sometimes I sit in silence, always i listen to attempt to discern what God may wish to say or thoughts he may wish to bring up in my mind for the day. I think listening first has proven to be quite key, and certainly fits with the Benedictine model, and can determining the rest of the prayer time.

Next I usually pray through putting on the armour of God (Ephesians 6) using words which sound something like this:
God … I put on …
the belt of truth – help me to be truthful in my actions and speech today, stop me from exaggerating and lead me
the breastplate of righteousness – may I be in right relationship with you, others and myself today – if I need to sort anything show me
the shoes of the gospel – Lord lead me today, may I walk in your steps and may your light shine as we walk together
the shield of faith – if and when Satan say I’m not good enough, help me hide behind this shield in the knowledge that he is right but that you have called me
the helmet of salvation – protect my mind today Lord, no matter what I hear or what I see or what I experience, remind me that my salvation with you is secure
sword of the spirit – Lord as I ponder your word, today show me how to use your word, when to speak and when not to

When I am all armoured up as it were I pray by name for all those people I expect to meet and have got to know and ask God simply to bless them.

After that I feel more comfortable to go out into God’s High Street to see what is happening today and how I might get involved.

If that’s helpful for anyone that’s cool …. if not then its just another reflective blog post!

sleep more … pray less

On study days recently, and on those odd times that I sit in the coffee shop or w/s on my own I have been investigating the Benedictine tradition which is the underlying spirituality of the cathedral. I have been looking into this to see if there is anything we can learn from as a cathedral in how we engage with visitors, particularly at the time of major festivals such as Dickens and the Sweeps festival.

I knew very little about Benedictine spirituality other than the hospitality side of things and have been surprised so far by what I have discovered.

The first two words of the rule, in the prologue, are listen carefully. The more I read the more I come back to this central underlying instruction to listen carefully – to God, to others, and to self; and probably in that order.

The Benedictine rule seems to be about communication and encounter rather than a set of rules. A communication and encounter with God that causes us to change. In short, I guess he is talking here of a life of worship. That may surprise you as a comment on a rule of life consisting of 73 chapters or rules to follow. But, it does seem to be about meaningful engagement with God and each other rather than sticking to rigid rules. For example, rule 10 takes account of seasonal changes in daylight hours and speaks of shortening the time set aside for prayer rather than shortening the time for sleep. I can’t help but think during the summer months in many churches today that I would receive a fairly negative reaction if I said that, due to the time of year, I would not be able to join the prayer meeting as I felt it was right and better for me to be sleeping!!!

In other rules, St. Benedict lists exceptions due to a number of things which shows a good understanding of humanity and our need to find what works for us within a particular framework that is flexible to some extent. A lot of freedom of expression may be found within the rule.

Benedict had a clear holistic view with an understanding the whole of life, how we work, how we worship, how we look after ourselves and how we deal with others all being connected. The whole of life is our spiritual life. Yes – more prayer can help us, but lack of sleep through prayer may cause us to sin out of tiredness induced weakness!

I have only learnt a little and I have a lot more reading to do – but I am intrigued by a character that tells me the right amount of sleep needs to take precedence over the right amount of prayer! With that … I’m off to bed!

silent together

Last night i had one of what I consider to be ‘special times’ in the cathedral as I led the monthly Taize prayer service.

I find this service amazing due to its pure simplicity. We have a clear pattern of prayer, chant, reading, silence, reading, silence, prayer, blessing. This flows without announcement or interruption. Last night the moments of silence were incredibly powerful. There is always something quite amazing about being with a group of people who become silence together.

For some it is easy to achieve silence when alone somewhere but being in silence with other human beings is a very unique and extraordinary experience. It is not something we do as a matter of course as we normally gather with others to communicate in some way. Silence together in this way is so alien that when we achieve it I believe we encounter God in a fresh way. In some way I cannot describe it is as if our senses are heightened as we wait together upon God. It’s hard to describe – you’ll just have to come to the next Taize service at the cathedral which is always at 8.00pm on the first Sunday of the month.

Did God hold his breath?

Today, if you are a good Anglican, we celebrate the Annunciation today.

‘In 9 months you will have a child, and you are to call him Jesus … he will be called the Son of the Most High.’

I always wonder how Mary felt?
Bewildered? Alone? Worried? Disorientated?
Then I wonder on the risk God takes in a teenage girl.
What if she had said no?
Did God hold his breath while he waited for her response?

As Mary waited as an expectant mum,
full of hope but worried for what may be;
so we can just wait
and give our worries and hopes to God.

Lord God
give me the patience of Mary
so that as I wait
You may find me.

Amen

not alone

I have been reflecting on my past week. I was concerned that things would have taken a step back because of my absence over the Christmas period. I was correct in my concern. Conversations have been very limited and most of the week I have sat alone and simply waited!

This last week has been a hard and lonely week. I knew the week was always going to be ‘harder’ as it was the week of the annual YFC staff conference and not being there after doing around 12/13 in a row was odd not least because it was a highlight of the year when I used to enjoy meeting up with people that I never saw for the most of the rest of the year. I missed meeting with these people whose friendship and time I have valued over the last decade.

The week, though, has been hard because it has been a quiet and lonely week. Having no staff meeting at the start of the week left me feeling surprisingly un-rooted from the start of the week. Sitting in ‘spoons and the gym and having only one conversation all week results in you questioning what you are doing, and why you are doing it.

It is at times like this that I am grateful most of all for my prayer partners. The realisation that they are praying for the stuff I ask them to pray for on a day by day basis through my weekly email has been a real encouragement to me this week. When I have felt alone (and yes … I know I have not been because God has been with me!) it has been amazingly helpful to know that others have been praying for exactly what I have been doing.

So … don’t underestimate prayer – and thank you to each and every one of my prayer team. Of course … if you’d like to join this fantastic group of people who receive a weekly email from me and pray accordingly please get in touch!

Lord … have mercy


continue to pray for an end to this sadness

Prayer walking


As time is progressing I am developing a kind of timetable in the ‘pioneering’ part of my ministry.

God has challenged me significantly that I need to be praying more which I am trying to do. Part of this is regularly prayer walking around Rochester High Street and the area around – and the pattern that has developed over the last few weeks is that I walk and pray around Rochester High Street on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at 830am after matins at 8am in the cathedral. It takes me about 30 mins.

I’m sharing it here not to look good – but to put an invitation ‘out there’. Maybe there are others that feel they would like to join me maybe on the odd occasion or maybe as a regular thing. We could always do a Wetherspoons breakfast afterwards!

If you would like to join me on this exciting thing regularly or just on a one off why not drop me a mail – it would be cool to share this with someone. (You’d be very welcome at Matins beforehand as well which I find helps to anchor me in our 2000 year old tradition before I then go out.)

Prayerful chilling

I started this week off a little differently.

I have been trying to pray more, but dismally failing without actually noticing. Interestingly, I’ve been starting to think that I’m too busy to pray … and yet I have nothing, as such, to do! In my head, I have been deciding I need to be in a set place by a set time, and need to be there daily – and so my waiting for people or to see God doing something, although important, has squeezed my opportunity to wait on God in prayer.

On Monday after Staff Forum and then staff meeting, rather than ‘go out’ I decided to go home and spend a few hours just chilling with God in a prayerful way. I have tried the kneeling for extended periods of time, but i find pain and other distractions kick in after about 30 mins. So … I chatted, asked, listened and just gave God a long time to do whatever He wanted to do, say or bring to mind.

I started my time with some liturgy from the Northumbria Celtic Prayer book to aid my focus and was particularly ‘drawn’ to some of the Brendan Voyage liturgy, particularly this line from page 180:

Brendon will go in adventure with God on the seas.
With care he will choose who his closest companions will be.

I took that as a bit of direction to mull over from God. The ‘sea’ language sums up where I feel I am at the moment – a mass of space and direction to go, sometimes calm and sometimes rough! I know Brendan’s voyage was on real sea, but symbolically I relate to similar situations. (For much more detailed and thought out stuff on Brendan you need to check out Mark Berry’s stuff).

As I mulled over the idea of my journey and my companions in this, I felt God reminded me of three things in particular which I need to do something about (a trinity of ideas maybe!)

I was reminded that I started this venture by prayer walking up and down the High Street in the morning before it got busy. I was ashamed to think that I had not prayer walked since my first week in September. I’m even more ashamed to admit that I had even forgot that I did this. On Tuesday morning I changed this and after Matins I prayer walked along the High Street at 8.30am. I intend to do this regularly (not daily) at 830 after Matins or 9am if there is a Eucharist – so if anyone wants to join me please let me know! I believe God may have said that I need to pray for people to prayer walk with me!

I am sitting in locations largely on my own, and I feel I need to be praying for a person or persons to share this with me on occasions, particularly, but not only, so that I can be present some evenings. This has been reinforced for me today in the local press where Rochester High Street has been labeled as the most violent in Kent which is mainly due to drunken behaviour in the evenings. I am uncomfortable ‘hanging out’ in Rochester during the evening alone. So, God reminded me to be praying for others to join me in this way.

Thirdly, God seemed to bring to mind names of various people from the past. These people had all made some faith commitment in previous years but had all, without exception, found survival in an inherited church pattern just impossible for them. I don’t know where these people are, but I have started to pray that in some way I come across them again.

So – time with God and three action points – I came out of the time very encouraged but also very aware that this must not be a one off. I guess the biggest thing that has shocked me here, and something I need to put things in place to counteract, is how I have allowed ‘waiting’ to squeeze out ‘praying’. It’s quite a scary thought. I am used to being lost in busy-ness, but not in waiting-ness.

Friday reflections

It was strange being back in Rochester today and I can’t put my finger on why.

Morning Prayer this morning was just the two of us. That in itself was a unique experience as in my time here there has always been at least 4. Saying canticles and psalms antiphonally together when there are only 2 voices (which means one voice at a time for those unfamiliar with Anglican worship) is quite amazing and seems almost to be a more intimate time with God. I thought it would be awkward but was amazed by how powerful the experience actually was. Often we can feel numbers make a massive difference … but when coming to God in prayer that just is not the case.

I prayed before going out on the High Street and to W/Spoons again this morning. I was particularly nervous today. I don’t know why, but there was a massive part of me that just did not want to leave the cathedral library and sit in the pub and ‘wait’. I prayed for guidance, I prayed for courage, I prayed that I would find someone who would want to talk.

Today I had nods of acknowledgment and later on, after I had eaten a great breakfast, got into conversation with 3 wonderful older gents in their 70’s who were all local and had served in the Royal Engineers. It was great to have a normal conversation about football, Medway and other stuff.

The interesting thing is that once I am out, once I step over thresholds of coffee shops or pubs I am not nervous and feel very comfortable. Certainly I feel comfortable in the places I am inhabiting and it seems to be just ‘right’ to quietly sit and just be myself. I don’t ever feel out of place and don’t pick up that others feel I am out of place either, although I am often greeted with looks of surprise and confusion. Sometimes conversations happen, sometimes they don’t. Conversations seem to be becoming more frequent. Actually, saying that, the last 4 times I have been in I have ended up chatting with people – and I’ve only just realised that through this process of reflection!

So … it’s good to reflect!