I have come to realise that dog walking is seriously bad for your health! Not only do you have to get up early in the morning and go out late at night in all weathers and bump into all types of people and all types of dog, not only do you risk life and limb sliding up, or down, muddy banks as the dog smells rabbit, not only do you risk contracting various diseases by picking up dog crap in very thin little plastic bags which don’t always protect your hands (!) …. but it seems also that it opens you to the risk of seemingly talking aloud to yourself and giving the impression to others that you have an imaginary friend!

I realised this last night when another dog walker gave me an incredibly odd look as it dawned on me that the conversation I was having with God (ie prayer) that I thought was in my head was, quite obviously, being said aloud! At 1130pm, when decent people are inside their warm homes either asleep or drinking good whisky, and it is quiet and calm …. one lone voice can travel quite a long way!

I mean … if you saw a giant 6’2 bloke in black raincoat and wellies with a nearly as tall greyhound charging towards you while having a conversation with a seemingly invisible friend …. what would you do! An old WWJD bracelet I saw lying around made me think that Jesus’ response if coming across such a scene with his disciples may well have been to command someone or something to come out!!!

So … now I have a reputation of talking to myself while I walk the dog …. great!

But that’s not the real danger. The real danger is that this prayer stuff, while walking, while I seemingly lose myself in both walk and nature and prayer is flipping real stuff! I don’t mean my prayers are better then anyone else’s …. but what I am noticing is that for the first time in a little while my prayers are nakedly honest. With that naked honesty comes a certain vulnerability and revealing of brokenness which means that some stuff can be dealt with. The danger with honesty is that you need to step out from hiding, and stepping into the open in that way can be a dangerous thing to do.

So is this hard? Yes
Does it hurt? Yes
Is it backbreaking, crappy hard slog stuff! Yes
Does it help! Yes

I am relearning that it’s very easy to hide. I have remembered that journeys start or take a new direction only after someone steps out, but that stepping out is the quite often the mad and dangerous thing to do. It’s a high risk thing too as when you step out others don’t necessarily join you. So, it’s pretty mad on all fronts really.

Well …. I have never made any claim that I was sane have I?
Off to step out a little more … with and without the dog!

Each year I re-new my support an mailing lists and this year I have decided to use Mail Chimp to look after my weekly prayer email and my termly newsletter. Recently a couple of people (actually only 2) have asked how they can keep in touch with what I am up to.

I produce two things … one fairly intense with a  big commitment, and one much less so.

First the intense option. (you may already wish to skip to the next paragraph!) At the moment I have around 30 amazing people who receive my weekly prayer email. Essentially this is copy of my diary and a few bits of stuff that people use to pray for me throughout the week. These people really are walking this road with me and pray for me on an incredibly regular basis – I am humbled and know very well that without them I would be floundering even more than I think I normally am. If you’d like to join this group in praying each day (it’s intense I know) then please sign up by clicking here.

I also produce something much less intense 2 or 3 times a year called ‘Tales of a Pioneer’ which is more of a newsletter type thing with stories, pictures and some general prayer ideas for a general week. A wider group of people receive this every 4/5 months. If you’d like to be kept informed of what’s happening through Tales of a Pioneer please sign up by clicking here.

Feel free to subscribe to one both or neither …. but thanks for reading!

Today I attended the annual Diocesan New Year service. THis is a service when Diocesan staff and cathedral staff get together, worship and hear from the Bishop. It’s quite a cool occasion and a chance to meet new people and catch up with friends.

This morning Bishop Brian preached. He told us he was going to preach about something that was important. Something that was universal. Something that lots of people admitting to doing in surveys, whether they were Christian or not. He was talking of prayer.

Bishop Brian spoke well and provoked discussion as we walked away from the church this morning. One description of prayer that particularly grabbed my attention was his description that prayer was ‘touching the tent.’

To put this in context he spoke a little about camping. He asked the question, ‘when it rains, what must you never do in a tent?’ The answer, of course, is that you must never touch the tent. If you do you make a connection that allows the water to come through and soon you have a very wet tent.

I like that gift of an image of prayer. Prayer is touching the tent to allow God to flow into an otherwise dry situation. Touching the tent makes a difference, a connection is made … what follows may be a drip, a trickle or a flood … but there is no doubt … the tent will have been touched!

Normally on Mondays we have a staff meeting.
Yesterday was chapter which meets for the day once a month.

I’m not a member of chapter so on these Monday’s I have started to have a prayer morning. I have become conscious of the need to pray more in what I am doing – it’s quite strange how it seems since being ordained I have prayed less than when I worked with YFC … and that can’t be right, can it?!

Yesterday morning I prayed. There was silence, there was asking for guidance, there was praying for people from the gathering and the places I hang out.

I was hoping that God would give me some revelation.
I was hoping God may give me a picture, a verse, a vision … but
God was silent!
God said nothing!
nought!
zilch!

I gave up a morning to pray …. and God was silent.

Silence …. but not nothing!
I came from the morning ‘refreshed’
ready to get on with things!

God was there, well God is always there … that’s obvious
But yesterday morning, in my simple action of slowing down to pray,
I became much more aware of God with me
God never said anything
But I felt I could hear God breathing
God listening
God waiting

Was I praying?
Or was I just hanging out with my creator?
Is there even a difference?