I’m obviously a bit behind the times in just realising that I am one the monthly stories over at Emerging church info.
If you don’t know – this gives a good account of what I am up to … although there have been some developments since the story was written back in May. I’ll write more when I feel the time is right.
Yesterday afternoon, our fledgling christian missional community gathered again in our house.
We are still working out who we are and what we should do together. Yesterday we shared where we were and prayed for each other, we wrote psalms, chatted more about our values and rhythm of life together and broke bread together. So far we have come to think together that our values are partly about worship, hospitality, balance and seeing faith as a journey.
These values are not complete yet, and they will need a mass of unpacking when we agree on something that encompasses the whole community, but it is a start and I’m excited because the process is quite organic and real. This is the start of a process which I hope ill just naturally continue as we start to realise what God has called us together for and as.
I have returned from the KCME residential at Aylesford Priory.I never look forward to these things but as ever it was good to spend time with friends over a few beers and of course the malt in the evenings.
I have been reflecting since my return and asking myself what I have come away with and what I have either learned or been challenged by.
On the first day Bishop Graham Cray delivered a talk and led a plenary afterwards for an hour, both of which were good. His title was ‘leadership and missional imagination’. I resonated with a lot of what he said, and in lots of ways I don’t think I heard anything new (that’s not a negative, just a symptom of the circles I keep and the conversations we have I guess) but I was still challenged.
Bishop Graham said something like ‘leadership is about cultivating an environment that innovates and releases the missional imagination present in a community of God’s people’. So leadership which is about enabling, promoting and creating the right environment for people to surface vision rather than leadership which is about running the whole show, calling all the shots and making all the decisions!
That’s my aim in my style of leadership and one that I wish to encourage. It was good to be reminded of this and, I guess, challenged as it is really very easy to take up the reigns when others are reluctant. I think I have been reminded that I need to continue to hold back and allow others.
On the second day we heard from Dr Anders Bergquist on ‘Success in Mission’. I was concerned at the title of the talk, the language of which grated with me, but really it was more about ‘authenticity in mission.’ he drew on three characters, Pope Gregory, Francis of Assisi and Charles Simeon but it was Francis I was particularly struck by. A person that had no real plan, who didn’t know where he was going with no organisational skills to speak of, but a man who had a contagious joy for Christ. People found Christ because of his joy, rather than his plan or organisation.
In particular a gift that Francis of Assisi and the other exapmples had was that they had a great gift of discernment knowing what or who to bless and when to bless it or them. A gift of missional leadership, argued Anders, was to be able to decide what to bless and what not to bless, or to put it another way, to be able to distinguish between good ideas and God’s ideas.
That challenged me and gave me an answer I have been looking for for a while I guess. When people ask what can they be praying for me I have so many things that could roll of the tongue that it would not be helpful. Being present in Anders’ talk has caused me to think that the thing at the top of my list should be to ask for the discernment to know what to bless and what not to.
That all sounds great on paper … now the hard bit comes as I try to put this into practice.
I have an exciting opportunity to join with COTA for a few weeks in the New Year.
There are just a few things to sort out like working out how to pay for the trip – but God can sort that out …. but if you know of anyone/anything please give me a shout. I need to raise something like another £500 to make this happen.
If you are interested in what I will be involved in, here is a brief rundown:
The placement would be hubbed at Church of the Apostles, but I would be considered a visiting ‘Pioneer Curate’ to the Diocese of Olympia WA.
The placement will include: creative liturgy and alt worship planning and leadership, outreach experiences in the artistic, non churched neighborhood of Fremont in Seattle. Events at the Fremont Abbey Arts Center, (COTA’s non profit 3rd place), officiating at daily offices at the Abbey, preaching, celebrating Eucharist, teaching and involvement with our four residential house church communities (Praxis, Ikon, Trinity and Lydia ) as well as ministry experiences with our Diocesan Commission for Emerging Mission, and with various ‘Conspiracy Events‘ hosted by the diocese for 20’s-30’s young adults, along with opportunities to share about your ministry in the UK in various parishes in our diocese and at our Cathedral (St. Mark’s) which hosts Compline for 400 young adults each Sunday night at 9:30 pm.
There are videos of COTA our the COTA YouTube channel as well such as this video of theirEaster Vigil this year:
This video gives a good outline of COTA
Some more reflections on my loitering times as I realise I have been fairly quiet on this front for a couple of weeks. This is, in the main, because things seem to happen very very slowly at an almost unnoticeable rate until you have a chance to sit back and reflect. When I do this it becomes quite clear that things have moved significantly in some ways.
Its seems to me that my experience goes in cycles. There are bouts of walking into places, being welcomed enthusiastically, and joining in with conversations and general life. This is balanced by other times when I can see the tumbleweed blow through the place as people turn to look the other way and pretend that I am not there. I’ve noticed the phases seem to go about 3 weeks of conversation followed by 10 days or so of tumbleweed. I wonder if these phases will change as relationships get stronger and real friendships start to form.
I wonder if that is a pretty normal cycle for this kind of ministry – I’m not sure as there are not that many people to ask! I also wonder whether there is nothing going on here at all and that it is all just my personal perception. I wonder if it is like when you walk into a room and it goes quiet, and you immediately start to think everyone was talking about you when nothing is further from the truth.
It seems that I have just come through a tumbleweed phase and are moving back into a phase of conversation. I wonder if people naturally chat to a certain level and then retreat a little to see what will happen, observe to see whether I can be trusted with the stuff they have shared. I guess that is quite a natural thing to do. I wonder if building relationships in this way is a series of tests – I say I am not out to bible bash people or drag them into church or tell them what to think – and so people naturally want to test that in their own way to see if that is the truth.
I am kind of looking forward to this week. I am wondering what God will bring across my path as, if I look, there always seems to be something that quite often surprises me.
I don’t particularly enjoy Wednesday’s – well that’s not strictly true. It’s a mixed day. I have to take it as a study day, as per the recommendations, and I love studying and reading – it’s just I need to be in the mood to do so and at the moment it just seems there is a lot of stuff flying around in my head regarding the people in w/spoons, the people who gather at our house each month, missional installations in the cathedral during The Sweeps and Dickens in Rochester – all things that easily distract me from what I should be studying.
I have been looking at Benedictine Spirituality because that is the heritage we have at the cathedral. I’ve been particularly investigating it with an eye to wondering whether there is anything we can learn from Benedictine Spirituality in the way that we engage with tourists and visitors in the cathedral, particularly at those festival times I mentioned above – when we can have thousands of people walking through each day. This is essentially the question I am asking in my next essay for ongoing training.
Benedictine Spirituality is well known as having a hallmark of hospitality which I think is key and will come on to in a moment. The Benedictine rule, however, opens with the words ‘listen carefully’ and the rule seems to keep coming back to this. Listen carefully to God, listen carefully to each other and listen carefully to yourself. I think maybe the last one is one we ignore a fair bit; but Benedict seems to be quite hot on presenting the rule (of which there are 73 chapters looking at all aspects of life due to the understanding that everything is important to God) and then giving some flexibility clause with words like ‘as best you are able’, in which he seems to rely on Godly integrity and listening to our bodies to help us decide whether we can perform a particular task. The correct number of hours of sleep is also a priority in the rule in the early chapters.
So, a logical conclusion to draw from this is that whatever we try to do to engage with people during our festivals the two words we need to keep at the front of our minds is to listen carefully with a flexible approach that recognises that all are different and have a unique set of needs at any one particular time which may range from a glass of water to needing someone to pray with.
The hospitality thing is major in chapter 53. Benedict instructs ‘all guests who present themselves are to be welcomed as Christ’. That’s a pretty tall order and a very serious one. Benedict then goes on to describe how people should be welcomed: announced, prayed with, sat with, every kindness shown, the abbot is to wash their hands and feet, given a meal which is eaten with the abbot, after which they have a room with adequate bedding. I’m pretty convinced that Benedict here is reminding of the time Jesus washed the disciples feet and saying …. if you want to learn how to welcome people as Christ then you need to learn how to serve people as Christ.
How, as a cathedral that take this Benedictine rule of hospitality seriously, can we exercise that in a relevant and authentic way when thousands pass through the doors at street festival times? Is it enough to engage in conversation? should we offer to wash peoples feet? how do we feed thousands of people? Are all our visitors guests in the way Benedict thinks of them? Are we presuming all want to be welcomed as Christ; some come to find space with God, while others come to get out of the cold/heat/rain, or to see the architecture, or to learn of the history. Are all these people guests? Hospitality is not hospitality if it is forced upon those that do not want it – can we have hospitality on offer for people to take if they wish?
Thinking aloud on here seems to be helping the process. If you can help me answer any of this then I’ll have an essay nearly sorted (and you will of course be credited!)
I have been having further thoughts today on the rhythm of life stuff. I’m currently looking at the words that everyone has written to see if I can identify any common themes that see to be coming out. I am sensitive about doing this because I don’t wish my slant to influence how we go and I intend to ship out ll the words to the community to see what common themes they see – it’s just I wanted to see that there were some before doing so. There’s nothing like setting an impossible task to to wreck something that seems to be starting to develop quite well.
I’m sending these out in an email to people connected with the community – but I’d be interested in hearing what common themes readers of this blog see in the words and ideas written below i response to ‘what should church /christian community include?’:
common sense
authentic
questions
freedom to express thoughts/feeling
mission
sharing
family
music
prayer
accountability
people
reflection
quiet
songs of praise
light
fun stuff
incense
mystery
knowing to be on a journey is ok
relationships
social action
worship
eucharist/communion
bible
sensory/stimulation
godly play
craft/creativity
acceptance
listen
understanding own limits
food
social things
it’s a long list!
what, if any, common themes do you see?
Yesterday our fledgling community gathered again for the fifth time.
We caught up with each other and shared a little about our summers. We welcomed a new person who had heard about us. We shared communion together and prayed together using incense as a symbol of our prayers rising to God. The children seemed to really enjoy the way we shared communion and the incense prayers. I think the adults did as well.
We then shared with each other what we think church/Christian community should contain. This is the first stage to us as a group developing our rhythm, or rule. of life. WE have already stated that we do not wish to develop a statement of belief as this gives an impression of exclusivity, which is something we are definitely not about. I was intrigued to hear someone suggest that maybe we should have a statement of disbelief … there could be something in that worth exploring!
The stuff we spoke about today was quite key as we tussled with what things meant and how we could do things. For example, one of our values is ‘acceptance’. As we thought about this it became clear this is will mean different things to different people, and is quite a massive concept. How can we, as a community, live authentically to a value of acceptance – is it as simple as saying we accept all. Is that even possible for a group of people to do? Do we need to put boundaries on acceptance – if we do, then is acceptance on our terms really acceptance or are we fooling ourselves to thinking we are inclusive when really we are not? Is there a limit to what we can accept? Was there a limit to what Jesus accepted or did he cross the cultural boundaries of acceptance. If so, what does that mean for us living in 21st century Kent?
Today was exciting, key and amazing. I think we all went away feeling we are further along the journey of this discovery that we have embarked upon – but it’s clear from today that we have a lot more thinking, mulling over, praying, tussling, talking and exploring to do.
That scares me quite a lot but it’s pretty exciting too! I’m not entirely sure where I go with all this next though ….
The last few days I feel I have been experiencing more of the cold shoulder of pioneering. I hope that doesn’t sound like a moany thing to be saying. I don’t feel saddened by this, I am not feeling I want it to be different – but I am acknowledging (maybe again!!) how lonely the pioneering role can still be, some 12 months in to things.
The last few days I have been sitting amongst the crowd in the pub but have had few conversations, eye contact or anything. I have noticed things bustling around me, with a few brief words here and there and yet it seems that I, sitting in the centre, sit in an area of calm – a bit like the centre of a tornado maybe.
When people come in they see me at the centre of groups of people and would assume that I am part of what is going on. But, although I sit at the centre I am not part, I am not included and so still very much on the outside.
I have chosen to sit in this place because reflections of the past few months led me to draw the conclusion that I have been invited to sit here so many times and that it was not natural to keep awaiting an invitation. The time comes, supposedly, when you know names and so if a table is empty then you sit on it.
Maybe I have been wrong in my deductions. Maybe my sitting at the centre is not helping and I should move back to the outside? But as I write that I don’t really think so as to go back to sitting on the other side of the pub all the time would send a signal that I no longer wish to chat ‘over there’. Maybe this has just been a quiet week after an emotionally draining day following a long time away and I need to be around for a bit more again and so I just need to wait some more to see what happens.
Tomorrow is another day and I look forwar to seeing what God brings along my path.
This weekend was a year on from my ordination (6th sept. 08) and it was odd preaching from the pulpit on Sunday morning knowing that only a year ago I was kneeling in front of the bishop. I many ways that seems only like yesterday, and in other ways it seems like years ago.
I used some of the weekend to reflect on what had happened over the last 12 months. It’s hard to believe in many ways what has happened over that time period.
I have changed in some ways; my beliefs have developed in ways that I may not think they would have done. I have seemingly got used to practices that were previously very alien to me. One particular surprise to me has been to find a side of God that was previously largely undiscovered for me through worship in choral music. I don’t think I will ever say that this is ever really me, but 9 times out of 10, I am nevertheless struck by how God speaks to me through the richness of this.
I think my relationship with God has changed as I have been surprised by where God turns up. I will admit I went to places not really knowing if God would do anything. I guess a large part of me had very low and small expectations of what God would choose to do in the public places such as w/spoons which I inhabit. I have been amazed at the conversations I have had and the level of acceptability I seem to have now with the locals. There is still a long way to go but I would never have believed it possible this time last year.
Another surprise has been the gathering of the group of people that get together on the second Sunday of the month. I never believed something like this would happen so quickly. It’s not church but it could be the beginnings of church. With only word of mouth, this blog, and people asking questions the group has grown and could be about 10 if I don’t count my family in those numbers. I believe the next few months could be key as to whether this continues or folds as we look at what we are about and how we will ‘be’ who we are called to be.
I have been surprised to by the reactions of people to seeing me in places people do not normally see ‘a vicar’. Initially the response was harsh and belittling. 12 months on, as I am know a known face in the High Street area, there are calls of ‘hello father!!’ as these people know I hate that particular greeting! Again, this is something I never would have believed could have happened this time a few month ago.
Of course there is always crap stuff too. I am frustrated by the numbers of people within the church that do not get what I am trying to do, or those that think this is limited to a youth thing. Sometimes I upset people with a polite ‘no’ to certain requests but on these occasions I feel I have to decline because to accept would take me away from this particular calling on my life at this particular time. I find it hard to say no but am conscious that as the first pioneer clergy in the diocese that I should try to make the paths of those who will join in the future that little bit easier if possible.
I still find going out in the mornings really really hard. Most of the time I am well received but it is still common to feel threatened. Only last week I was convinced someone I was talking to was going to headbutt me. My fear was irrational, and I’m pleased to say it never happened, but the fear is there still. I said in an interview a few months ago that the hardest part of my day was crossing the threshold of w/spoons. That is still the case due to the great unknown at what will happen.
I guess I experience the cold shoulder of pioneering quite a bit. It is a lonely role but a role that I love most of the time which may seem odd in light of some of what I have said above. It’s a role in which I am learning I need to continue to dream and imagine what things could look like – sometime has to!
As I look back over the year there are a few people to thank – my family! the staff of the cathedral, Ian, Jeremy and some other special people who have met up with me a few times in wetherspoons and coffee shops to offer a good encouraging word (please don’t stop!) and of course those that receive my weekly prayer email (if you want to drop me a line and I’ll add you)…. thank you to all of you – you are special people who are an important part of this ministry because without your kindness it would be lot lonelier and much more difficult.
The Shiny Headed Prophet 