Category Archives: mission

a humble vulnerability

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20130325-005318.jpgI preached yesterday on Palm Sunday. It was interesting mulling over Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem while holding onto all the ‘being present’ stuff that I have been considering over the last few weeks.

A friend commented on my post via facebook, pointing out that being present is an act of vulnerability. If we really do want to build relationships and become friends with people, rather than just viewing them as pew fodder (that very thought makes me shiver!) then there is a vulnerability on both sides. There is risk, there is a real possibility of rejection. If we wish to be present with people then we have to be that …. present, available, willing …. and all that means we need to be willing to be close and vulnerable.

On Palm Sunday we see Jesus riding into town on a donkey. I shared in my sermon that at the other side of town at some stage Pilate would have been processing into Jerusalem too, but that his procession would be one of grandeur and pomp with the aim of instilling fear. Jesus, on the other hand, rides in an act of humble vulnerability. Pilate looks to control and intimidate. Jesus looks to be present with the people that he loves. Pilate is fully protected by a powerful army is sits aloft on his horse for all to see. Jesus has no protection, sits on a donkey and is swamped by the crowd. Pilate wants obedience. Jesus wants relationship.  

Relationship means vulnerability and presence but sometimes I think the church has tried to act from a position of detached authority or believed she had some right to warrant respect without question, rather then be present in the mess of reality and genuine lives. That gives a massive challenge to contemplate for this Holy Week; how can we live out a humble vulnerability like that? Is it even possible?

MInistry of presence

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DSC_0088My friend Trevor pointed me to this article yesterday. It pretty much sums up what I am about. The article is all about meeting people where they are at in third spaces witht he aim solely of building friendship..  … there is one comment, though, in particular that I think is not strong enough and it comes towards the end of the article:

‘If we take this risk of connecting with folks, and our primary expectation and goal is filling pews on Sunday, you may want to re-think the project you are considering.’

I don’t believe there is any ‘may’ about it …. to have such an expectation and motivation would be a clear abuse and manipulation. The quote from Nouwen, one of my spiritual heroes, is a quote I love, aspire to be able to adopt and, of course, massive challenge:

‘But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them’.

Time to go … be present …and to love … presence has become key, but proving to be so elusive! As we approach Holy Week, I am coming to a greater realisation that presence may be the only thing we have.

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6a00d83451df1169e2017d41d81047970c-500wiThe new prospectus is out for the CMS Pioneer Mission Leadership Training course.

I’ve said before that if this coure had been around when I was training I would have opted for it. I did the Missional Entrepreneurship module a while back which was excellent and I wrote something here and here.

This is a great looking course, and a course which equips pioneers to be both innovative and effective where they are. If that’s you … go check it out!

can i bleed on your carpet?

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urlI have been challenged by this poem called ‘Therapy’ written by Steve Malakowsky. You can read the background, and tribute, over on TSK’s blog.

can i take my addictions into your church
can i sit on your padded pews
can i bleed on your carpet or do you want
me when i’m clean and not now
can i take my addictions into your theology
is it big enough to face my pain
or will i stain your glass with street smells
and sweat
where can i go
where can i go when i’m addicted . . .

going where people are …

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imgresIn Medway, as in many other areas, the boot fair season is about to open.

Thousands of people each Sunday morning will drive past many churches and worshipping communities to connect with other ‘searchers’ as they wander along corridors of peoples stories looking to add something to theirs.

Maybe many of us look at this behaviour each year and think people are simply looking for bargains. That is obviously part of the reason, but I also think people go because they like getting together with other people. This is a developing community where conversations and relationships can develop over weeks.

Wherever I see lots of people gathering on a regular basis I start to wonder how we may  develop something that fits which will give opportunities for people to explore and experience faith and spirituality.

For the past few years regular SHP reders will be aware of my involvement with Dekhomai at MBS fairs and Rochester Cathedral during Sweeps and Dickens festival.

I’m quite excited to be able to share that with Sue Kerr, the other pioneer minister in this area, we are developing a couple of teams that can run a Dekhomai type thing in a boot fair setting. We will be aiming to be present on a Sunday morning, simply engaging with people but also offering prayer for healing, Jesus Deck readings, and so on.

We will be holing a training session sometime after Easter, so if you have worked with us before at Sweeps or Dickens or would like to explore joining in with this exciting project that please get in touch.

Tales of a Pioneer Volume 2 part 1

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UntitledIt’s been quiet because I’ve been trying to walk, not run following my last post.
For me this has meant trying to do a little more reading and reflecting during Lent without broadcasting my thoughts here as much as normal. Time away has given rise to some interesting thoughts.

One upshot of this time away is that I have finally managed to write the next edition of Tales of a Pioneer. There’s not a lot in it as it’s early days and things always start slowly.

Volume 2 … because I’ve left Rochester and started again in some ways in Gillingham
Part 1 … because … well it’s part 1.

have a read … pray … talk to me as well!

packed with disconnection

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detail edenIt’s been a pretty packed week.
I could say there has been just a little too much trad stuff for my liking, but I have seen God work in the situations and am aware of the missional opportunities of all situations.

Regular readers will have probably worked that out … as when I’m packed and stressed this blog doesn’t happen. I hate that because, as a missioner I seriously need time to reflect if I am able to engage in a relevant way. This week has had little reflection, little opportunity to think about what I am doing, and there is no one to blame other than myself! I hate that even more than not having time to reflect.

Life is so much easier when you have someone to blame! Normally I am organised and plan in advance, but this past week with two training events to deliver, baptisms, pastoral visits, school and prison chaplaincy I have found myself meeting and desk bound as I simply took my eye of the ball! I was not organised, or prepared and so feel pretty much that I have lost a week.

Not only have i lost a week, but I have felt disconnected  packed with no space, but disconnected in my busy-ness. As the week progressed I have merely sat before God, with no words, but presenting myself. Today I have found words of Ghandi that have brought a smile:

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.

It’s an amazingly hard hitting quote. In weeks like this, I hope, I am relieved that God can see what is in my heart … a desperate desire to see this place transformed … and that desire does not need words …. it simply needs space.

 

like riding a bike! (phew)

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Fresh ExpressionsIt’s been a long two days, and is some ways very tiring and draining, although I sit at my desk quite energised because of tonight. In my two previous roles before ordination I led, planned and delivered a lot of training events. Tonight I co-led the MSM course in my new day a week role of Assistant Missioner in the diocese’s Mission and Community Engagement Team (MACE).

This week I have been fairly nervous as the time has approached simply because it has been over 7 years since I delivered any real training. I wasn’t sure if I could still deliver training. I wondered if it would be like riding a bike, which comes back easily, or whether it would be more like my golf playing, which always get worse, and will be ridiculous now as it’s been years! I enjoyed tonight and the quick glance through the evaluations seem to indicate that Penny and myself delivered the session quite well. I like to think my return to training has been like riding a bike … a little wobble or two to start with before getting into peddling again.

Tonight was fun and the MSM course seems to be a really good engaging course to be part of … so if you are into mission and growing and leading a new church … then maybe you should download the course pdf flyer here and think about enrolling in the future. Now I’m part of MACE you can expect blatant and unashamed advertising!

Tonight I have remembered something more about my values and rediscovered something of  what I am gifted at doing, which has helped to reaffirm, after a tough couple of weeks, what I am called to do.

To the group tonight … thank you … you are pretty amazing to work with!

you don’t do a lot!

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lg day4 007For the last few months I have been waiting again.

You’d think I’d be comfortable with waiting by now…I did a lot of waiting in Rochester, I’ve blogged a lot about waiting and I even wrote some IME essays on waiting. And do you know what …. even after all this time I still believe waiting is flipping hard! i want to ‘do’!

Some people tell me that God wishes to teach me lessons on patience; and I think they are trying to be humorous. Waiting bores me. Waiting frustrates me. Waiting forcibly stops me. Waiting causes me to question my identity. Waiting causes others to question what I am doing. Just today a manager of a cafe said ‘you don’t do a lot do you!’

He’s right … all I do is wait. Well I watch as well. I guess I also listen. I have noticed patterns of behaviour in different groups. I know where to find certain people at certain times. But, once again I ask ‘what am I waiting for?’ This time, however, I think I know. I know what to look for. I know what to listen to. I have a better understanding of signs that I am hoping to discover.

Waiting can be naff, boring, monotonous …. but waiting is so important. I have learned the importance of not side stepping this phase of mission. Yes it is true that waiting forcibly stops me … but it forcibly stops me from thinking I have understood this community too early and jumping with both feet into what seems a good thing to do, only to realise a little down the line that it’s the most ridiculous idea ever. Waiting means I can really hear and observe and check out what I think this community is saying.

If mission is joining in with what God is doing, and that’s a definition I certainly adhere to, then this time of observation spiced with a gritty tad of discernment is a time that must not be skimped on.

I have been brought back again and again to the words of John taylor in the classic ‘Primal Vision‘:

‘The Christian has nothing to offer unless he offers to be present, really and totally present, really and totally in the present. The failure of so many professional Christians has been that they are not all there.’

What I am learning from these incredible words of wisdom is that many of us do not have the patience, time or ability to ‘wait’ and in our waiting to be ‘totally present’. The only way to be totally present is to have time, and to have time it is important to make time. Too often we are planning the next step, thinking about the next agenda item, planning our response at the next meeting, or making plans for the place before we have listened, or understood, or heard.

I am learning that the wait, the listen, the contemplate are all as important as the action. The action will and must come, but the desire to jump, to feel good, to transfer ideas from other paces, to get going before we are ready … that must be resisted.

At the end of this month I will have waited for 5 months. 5 months of watching and waiting in Gillingham High Street has given me some interesting thoughts and introduced me to some deeply thoughtful people. I sense the time or season of waiting and watching in my particular case is about to give way to a season in which I will need to act. More on that at another time, and if things come together of course.

I’m excited! I also know, that even though waiting can be monotonous, if things do start to happen I may well be longing for the days of waiting and reflection to return!

So … here’s to still waiting, and listening, and watching and trying to understand … before taking the next step.

feeling called?

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god-the-motherI love jamie the worst missionary‘s blog.

She says a lot of stuff .. well .. just as it is!
She is honest about how things are which, to be frank, is quite unique and often refreshing to read.

Before Christmas she wrote under the title of ‘so you want to be a missionary’. She bluntly replies to the young people asking the question ‘get a job’ so that you learn what people in the real world have to do. I think that’s pretty sound advice.

Go read …

(I also think this was another hard hitting post)