Category Archives: mission

i wish i could believe

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meditateToday has been one of those ‘interesting’ days that I encounter now and again as a lonesome pioneer being around and available. It seemed that every place I went today I met someone with whom I had some connection and who wanted to talk or share something. It has certainly reminded me today how privileged I am to be doing what I do and the specialness of days like today.

Today people have shared stuff that has been deep and personal. People have shared concerns, dreams, hurts and struggles. People have shown interest in the idea of churches in accessible places where they would not feel out of place.

The most challenging and biting comment today was something like ‘I really wish I could believe in a God. It would give me some security in my life. I really wish I could believe but I can’t.’ With such an opportunity there are a variety of responses … to try and answer all the questions there and then in case you never ever meet again …. or to smile, talk a little, ask if you can come back again, and commit to keeping the conversation and contact going.

I sensed God saying the latter was appropriate here and that living as a Christian and modelling faith was going to be more helpful to the person than simple ‘proofs’ and apologetics. I think in this way I am trusting God with this person rathe than fooling myself into thinking I have all the answers.

I have come to see that it is very tempting, and quite easy, to answer questions that people are not asking and to ignore the ones that they are. We teach things like ‘God gave us two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we talk’ …. but I’m not sure that very valid teaching point has really embedded itself in our lives yet!

I think i’m being reminded again that I don’t control or decide what happens here … God does. My task, though, as I blogged here is to wonder about the next step …

sanitised sacredness?

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water-cooler-sanitisation-kitThe last week or so of Advent has been a very different experience for me. Regular SHP readers will be aware that over the last four years I have been based at Rochester Cathedral. Here carol services occur on a near daily basis, sometimes even more frequently, throughout December. I remember last year by around the 6th of December saying I was already ‘fed up’ with singing carols. So, the run up to Christmas throughout December was always incredibly busy.

The run up in Gillingham this year has been different. There have not been daily carol services, I have spoken and attended only four, and all of them happened this week. It has, however,  still been pretty busy which is why the blog has been quite quiet for the last week or so. The busy-ness has been different and it has involved people in the prison, the school and the High Street.

This blog is really my tool for reflecting on stuff. The busy-ness has meant I have been reflecting, but not really been in a position to express that reflection in a meaningful way here. I like to reflect, and I have been mulling over this whole advent and christmas thing. On one hand I have been reflecting on the grittiness of the story which I think I summed up in the filthy sacred stuff I wrote about earlier. Alongside that, I have been forced to reflect upon the sanitisation and fluffing of the story that we hear in many carol services and conversations.

I wonder how we got from one to the other. The popular media machine of the church has done a grand job of taking all the dirt and risk out of the story over the last few hundred years. We are left with warm images, and safety, and lovely calm animals and calm people and a baby that does not cry. Why is this? In my times of reflection I think I have arrived at two possible explanations for the warm fluffy nativity story that seems so familiar to all of us.

First, I guess the reality and truthfulness of God, in flesh, being born to a young couple in the filth, dirt and grime of a stable is so unbelievingly shocking that it made many feel uncomfortable and so needed ‘dressing up’ a bit. The saviour of the world born in the crap of a stable is scandalous. This is a holy event, and if it’s holy we can’t possibly have smells, and poo, and dirty animals and all that stuff going on. Maybe the holiness of the event calmed the animals, but it surely can’t have calmed the smell.

I think there may be also be another reason. The scandal of this scene has implications for all who call themselves Christian. Jesus was born into the filthy reality of the world and if we read the gospels we see that he remained there, working amongst the ostracised, the excluded, the untouchables, and generally all those people groups that the establishment (in this case the law and the temple) said should be kept away from. To work amongst these people, said the law, would result in you being unclean and unacceptable in the sight of God.

Jesus birth, life and death show this to be wrong; the very way to be holy, shows Jesus. is to be involved in the dirt and need of the world. Getting our hands dirty while working with God is a simple demand of our faith in Jesus.

If we are to follow Jesus as our example, then the task is pretty clear …. to work amongst the poor, the rejected, the outcast, … to work amongst those who are not valued or respected but are ignored, rejected and persecuted.

That’s quite a tall demand. That’s quite a major calling. I guess it makes some sense to sanitise the story, because if we sanitise and take the danger out of the birth, we sanitise and take the danger out of our responsibilities.

the filthy sacred

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dirty handsToday’s Advent thought talks about holiness. In particular Bodenheim writes about the resistance of Jesus; ‘One of the teachings he resisted was holiness-as-separation‘. Jesus got involved in the dirt and mess of his creation. He touched lepers which ‘the law’ said he could not touch. He healed ‘demoniacs’ which were exiled from the community due to their uncleanness or not being holy according to the law. Jesus simply showed acceptance and compassion.

Jesus upset people doing this as it was a massive challenge to the tidy laws of the time that told who was in an who was out.

This week I spoke with someone who shared a sad story of a Christian person they knew excluded from their church because of their sexuality. This person had been forced out because he did not fit this particular churches purity rules of what is and is not holy, who is in and who is out, who can and can’t be a Christian. The ridiculousness of that very statement just made me LOL! As if anyone can make that decision other than Jesus! This case is both shocking and sad. Someone’s sexuality does not prevent them from being holy. God’s presence makes them holy. God’s love means they are accepted.

This morning I was working on my allotment. As I was praying and pulling up crops and weeds i was conscious of God being with me and walking on Holy ground.  All ground is holy – it must be as God is everywhere. Still today we think of holiness as purity but, today, on my allotment, I was filthy as I was covered in mud and grime and whatever else. It’s easy to forget that the world, created by God, is sacred and yet it is filthy!

God is in the mud and grime and everything else of our creation. God is in the filth. It’s not us being pure that makes us holy, it is God’s presence that makes us holy. It’s not purity that defines how we act with each other, it’s compassion.

As my Advent journey continues I am mindful, again, of Mary travelling on a donkey to Bethlehem. The journey itself would have been filthy and grimy. My thoughts go to the room full of animals. Jesus, THE holy one, was born amongst the hay and crap of a farmyard and yet this IS the most holy occurrence on the planet that has ever happened!

Jesus did not worry about cleanliness at the start of his mission. He did not worry about being born in a pure environment. His coming amongst the crap of a stable showed that healing our communities was far more important to him than being concerned about his own holiness. And Christians we are called to follow the example of Jesus.

This Advent, do we join others in condemning so we keep ourselves pure and clean, or this Advent do we have the courage to step into the filth to help heal brokenness and transform communities. (I call that mission). The choice is ours to make.

beyond the edge

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I’ve had a pretty varied last few days which has left me mulling over the words of Archbishop Rowan on belonging and the history of the church being renewed from the edges rather than the middle. The audios and the videos have now been uploaded on the fresh expression website here. They are all worth taking the time to listen to.

I think I agree that the church seems to historically be renewed from the edges. As I was listening to Archbishop Rowan last week I was envisaging myself as one of those people linking with those on the edges, looking for people on the fringe to be involved in this renewing. Looking for people to ‘tap on the shoulder’ of those that think they do not belong and remind that they do.

I have wondered this week, however, whether that is the case and whether that is, in fact, my role? Do pioneers work on the edge or do pioneers need too go beyond the edge. The edge still has a recognisable boundary, a place of safety or reference. We do not know what is beyond the edge, because we don’t go beyond the edge, for then it wouldn’t be ‘the edge’.

But I wonder … I wonder whether people on the edge want to belong because they are aware that ‘belonging’ is a possibility. Beyond the edge, however, I wonder whether this is as true. I’m not sure people beyond the edge need reminding that they belong because I’m not sure that people desire to belong. I believe a number of people living  beyond the edge do not have the word ‘belong’ in their vocabulary  They do not desire to belong because they have never belonged and not aware that belonging somewhere is a possibility. Belonging has never been an experience.

As well as people working at the edge, pioneers need to be people that are inspired in going off track, into the wilderness, beyond the recognisable fringe. They need to search out those areas where there are no obviously recognisable paths. They have no need of a map as they are drawing the map as they journey, mapping out various paths and many dead ends as they travel, usually alone, into new areas. Rather than working at the edge, they are creating a new edge.

And so I wonder – are pioneers called to constantly re-create a new edge for people to move towards? As they create that new edge, how do they show belonging is a real possibility to those who have never had any concept of belonging.

I need to think about those questions a little more ….

it’s all about belonging. simples!

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Yesterday I had a great day at Following the Missionary Spirit.

Great because it was good to catch up with friends I have not seen in a  little while, great because it is always energising to be in a room with lots of other people that are passionate about mission and see opportunities rather than barriers, and great because , as always, Archbishop Rowan imparted real pearls of wisdom.

There was simply loads packed into this day.
Some words that hit me:
‘we need to go further to stay where we need to be’ Martyn Atkins
‘we need to remember we work from a place of powerlessness’ Annie Kirke
‘the key to the future with fresh expressions is understanding what we have been given for the journey’ Bishop Graham Cray
and there was so much more …. but…

In particular I was challenged by Archbishops Rowan’s words on belonging. He challenged us to think why church should be of interest to people. We, church, should be interesting because the church speaks of the possibility of belonging. In the gospels. he reminded us, Jesus reaches out to those who think that they do not belong, and he taps them on the shoulder, causing them to turn around (repent) and realise that they do belong.

My whole current ministry, every incarnation of it that I can think of, is spent with people who tell me that they do not belong. Many of them think they are not good enough to belong anywhere.

Our role, my role as a missioner, is to remind such people that there is a place of belonging for them. That place is church, maybe not church that you or I recognise, but that is why my role is to create … and that’s quite exciting!

I left the day with a renewed commitment to take up the challenge …. to be with those who feel they don’t belong (that’s the easy bit) and show them that they do!

I am doing a new thing …

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I have come to draw significant strength and encouragement from the Daily Office over the last few years since being ordained. I tend to follow a pattern of using Morning Prayer from Common Worship in the morning and then something else for the evening … which could be COTA liturgy, or stuff from the Northumbria Community, or Moot and sometimes Common Worship again.

Morning Prayer for the next few weeks (called the season from All Saints Day until the day before the First Sunday of Advent ….. (why use one word can you can make up a whole sentence!!))

I know some people struggle with set prayers and saying the same wortds over and over again. I find, however, that as I say familiar words, or words set down, that God breaks in in some unexpected ways. I have been massively struck, challenged and resonated with the words of the canticle, A Song of the new Creation,  said each morning during this season:

1‘I am the Lord, your Holy One,
the Creator of Israel, your King.
2Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea,
a path in the mighty waters,
3‘Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
4‘Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
5‘I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my chosen people,
6‘The people whom I formed for myself,
that they might declare my praise.’

As a pioneer this is a canticle that I have read, re-read, loved, hated, been inspired by and been frustrated by. But these words of God, that come from Isaiah 43, remind me that God is working, and that God is working in fresh new ways.

I received two very encouraging emails this morning and one spoke of a time spent in Jordan trying to look for Canaan as Moses did. This person shared how their view was obscured due to the dense pollution that is now there, and then went on to offer maybe we need to struggle through the pollution to see the promised land.

I believe that person to be very wise. Not just in my patch, but in most places, there is pollution, both obvious and more subtle, that we may well need to see through, or plough through, before we can start to see where it is God is taking us or what in fact God is doing.

One thing, however, I am sure of …. I may not yet quite perceive it …. but God is doing a new thing …..

claiming protection vs embracing vulnerability

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Recently I had a kind of discussion with someone who is passionate about mission whom I admire and respect. In her encouragement of me she said something like ‘get your armour on!’

I thought ‘yes, you are so wise for someone so young, why had I not thought of that!’ But then, after a little while I wondered … and I blog about this because I still wonder and I am not sure. You see, I know I need God’s protection and I know that we are often engaged in a  spiritual battle which we do not fully understand nor are we fully aware of.

But … should I be prayerfully putting armour on as outlined in Ephesians 6? I see this is scripturally correct behaviour …. but is this an instruction for all seasons? I guess my concern is with imagery and the power of imagery. Does a ritual of putting on the ‘armour of God’ cause the mind to take on a seige/battle/confrontational attitude? I fear that it might.

My problem is I am not sure I am called to fight in the role I have at this time. I am not sure that this outlook is helpful in what I do at this stage of doing it. I do know that I am called to be present, to be open. to listen, to get to know people and … all this means (gulp!) that I am called to be vulnerable.

I am not sure how vulnerable I am if I am wearing a suite of armour, even a symbolic one. I wonder if as well as having seasons for wearing armour there are seasons for being vulnerable and simply trusting God alone.

The image I have to illustrate my thoughts are of Arthur and Merlin in the BBC series currently showing here in the UK. King Arthur relies on his armour and battle skills. Merlin, by contrast, wears no armour and carries no weapons, trusting merely in the skills and gifts that his creator has gifted to him.  It’s no surprise that it is Merlin and his wise use of his gifts that often win the day. It’s not a great illustration but it resonates and has tastes of the un-armoured boy David against the heavily armoured Goliath and Jesus who not only has the gifts from the creator but chooses not to use them and allow his sacrifice to happen.

So … claiming protection or embracing vulnerability, what should I do ….. or is there a bit of both needed here?

What do others think? What do other pioneers do as they prepare to ‘go out’ and pioneer. How do you prepare?

At this point in time … my prayer of preparation is borrowed from the Northumberland Community: (which I guess could be viewed as a kind of compromise).

Christ, as a light
illumine and guide me.
Christ, as a shield
overshadow me.
Christ under me;
Christ over me,
Christ beside me
on my left and my right.

This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Be in the heart of each to whom I speak;
in the mouth of each who speaks unto me.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Christ as a light;
Christ as a shield;
Christ beside me
on my left and my right.

missional entrepreneurship

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I went on the CMS Pioneer Missional Entrepreneurship module last year. It was excellent and I can easily say it is one of the best weeks of training that I have ever been on. The mix of people, the setting and calibre of input all combined to make this an amazing week.

You can see what I wrote last year here and, because the was so good I posted twice, also here.

So … if you are tussling with this stuff about missional enterprise or a project it’s worth getting in touch with CMS and booking a place on this years week which is happening in November.

one step forward …

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… and three steps back … is what I expected .. following yesterdays post

In my limited experience (I have only tried this stuff in one other place) after an experience like Monday, when things seem to be going well and you think you are making progress, this is quickly followed by a reality check whereby everything seems to come crashing in and you wonder again where things have got to. This is a normal stage of mission as people express, venture out, retract before trying again.

At this stage in Rochester 4 years ago people were still, in the main, not engaging with me and I often felt I was invisible. In many places in Gillingham that pattern has repeated itself. I think this is partly out of people being unsure of how to deal with the ‘dog collar’ thing as well as the fact that, in the main, many people like to be pretty private when out and about. It does remind me, however, that I soon learned four years ago that I have to be the instigator of any conversation … out of some old respect for the role i publicly do many are uncomfortable for a variety of reasons about talking to ‘a person of the cloth’. By instigating the conversation it is as if I am saying it is ok to talk …. not that I feel I need to, but it does seem that people assume a ‘professional’ person is simply too busy for them. This is pretty similar to what I experienced when I started in Rochester.

This is why I ventured out on Tuesday and today excepting the 1 step forward 3 steps back thing – but it never came. I went out expecting to have very quiet days with little engagement with people … but the opposite seems to have happened. If I’m honest I am kind of confused by that. Yesterday, for example, I was stopped in the High Street with a humourous friendly shout of ‘Oh, don’t speak then!’ This was the call of someone I spoke to a few days ago that wanted to talk more in the middle of the High Street.

For some reason people I have met once seem to be very open and very chatty. There are still hundreds in the High Street to whom I am invisible, which is not a surprise, but there are a handfull of people who are already starting to share their stories with me. That has come as a real surprise. I don’t know what it indicates or what this means for how I exercise my ministry … but it seemed worth making note of.

A possible cause could be due to the portfolio type ministry I have in the Gillingham area. In Rochester I was attached to the cathedral and the High Street… and that was it. In Gillingham I have this collection of stuff at St Marks, St Mary Magdalene, St Mary Island Church, St Mary Island School, governor at Brompton Academy, and the High Street. That means I have six or seven different places or opportunities to come into contact with people. I am visible in different types of spaces … professional spaces such as school, pastoral places of churches and social places of cafes. Some people come across me in 2 or 3 different spaces and I wonder if that is helping a relationship of trust to develop. I wonder …

I have, however, left those rose tinted specs locked in a  drawer somewhere. I still believe the 3 steps back stage will come … it just didn’t come yesterday and hasn’t come today.

a new day … a new week

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Monday was a different day.
A while a go (when I was 18 .. so an age ago!) a good friend gave me a framed print of the saying ‘Today is the First day of the Rest of Your Life’.
Today has felt like that day.
A few things have contributed to this.
Today I cycled to GIllingham rather than drive and in some odd way felt more connected with my surroundings.
I cycled to morning prayer at St Mary Magdalene as I have become acutely aware of how I have missed this reflective/contemplative simple start with others to my day.
Today I loitered in 3 places and in each place there was some form of engagement or discussion.
In those places my coffee was being served before I had a chance to sit down … a possible sign of being welcomed maybe?
Monday was a new day … I wonder what will happen today.