Category Archives: friends

a humble vulnerability

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20130325-005318.jpgI preached yesterday on Palm Sunday. It was interesting mulling over Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem while holding onto all the ‘being present’ stuff that I have been considering over the last few weeks.

A friend commented on my post via facebook, pointing out that being present is an act of vulnerability. If we really do want to build relationships and become friends with people, rather than just viewing them as pew fodder (that very thought makes me shiver!) then there is a vulnerability on both sides. There is risk, there is a real possibility of rejection. If we wish to be present with people then we have to be that …. present, available, willing …. and all that means we need to be willing to be close and vulnerable.

On Palm Sunday we see Jesus riding into town on a donkey. I shared in my sermon that at the other side of town at some stage Pilate would have been processing into Jerusalem too, but that his procession would be one of grandeur and pomp with the aim of instilling fear. Jesus, on the other hand, rides in an act of humble vulnerability. Pilate looks to control and intimidate. Jesus looks to be present with the people that he loves. Pilate is fully protected by a powerful army is sits aloft on his horse for all to see. Jesus has no protection, sits on a donkey and is swamped by the crowd. Pilate wants obedience. Jesus wants relationship.  

Relationship means vulnerability and presence but sometimes I think the church has tried to act from a position of detached authority or believed she had some right to warrant respect without question, rather then be present in the mess of reality and genuine lives. That gives a massive challenge to contemplate for this Holy Week; how can we live out a humble vulnerability like that? Is it even possible?

a good first touch!

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jezTonight it was amazing to see my good friend Jeremy licensed as Priest in Charge of St Paul’s Stratford. Amazing as I love Jeremy and Ruth to bits and it was wonderful simplky seeing them welcomed and already starting to look like they were settling in to this new area. For those of you that don’t know, this parish is about to enlarge dramatically as people start to move into the Olympic village.

Jeremy is a missioner and Bishop Stephen Cottrell drew attention to this in his sermon. He started, though, by reminding everyone that Jeremy was not there to do all the ministry. He reminded them that Jeremy was there, not to do it all, but to ensure that all the ministry was done. I know plenty of ordained people that need to remember that sound advice!

I particularly loved the way +Stephen then took his sermon. He used the analogy of great football players (Jeremy and Ruth are Spurs season ticket holders), saying that what marks a good football player from an excellent one is there first touch. That ability, in one smooth movement, to control, use and pass the ball. Merely good football players usually need a touch to control before they are then able to pass it. They receive and give the ball in a perfect balance.

He used this to say that he prayed that St Pauls would become known as a church that has a great first touch …. that it can both receive very well and give appropriately. I think that’s an amazing image for people to aspire to.

Tonight was a special night with a special person whom I have grown to admire massively over the last 8 years or so. I will be praying and watching and waiting to see that first touch develop. God bless you Jeremy, Ruth and the community of St Pauls.

nothing more prized than friendship

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url-1In this mornings daily office we remember Thomas Aquinas as well as read Hosea 3, which gives an amazing and shocking account of the amount of of love that God has for us. It’s an amazing read and probably a book we don’t delve into enough.

But back to Aquinas, because today the memory of Aquinas and what he sees as important have directed my prayers this morning. Quotes like:

‘there is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship’
‘friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious’
and, last one, …‘the things that we love tell us who we are’
Wow, that last one is quite hard hitting, as I think it has a good amount of reality and truth to it.

Today in my prayers I have thought about friends and realise how incredibly fortunate I am.  As I reflect I find it mazing that I am still in contact with some from my school days in Weymouth, that others whom I worked with at HT Nailsea, some 20 years ago now, still support me in my work. Friends from YFC who, despite me leaving 6 years ago, still regularly stay in touch and show their friendship in real and practical ways. Closer to home, friends of Rochester and those that have known me for decades in Gillingham show there support through practical support, encouragement and challenge … but it seems it is only very close friends that have the ability to challenge!

Today I have given thanks for and prayed for friends. As I have reflected I have become aware again how amazingly encouraging a phone call, text, email, card, letter …. can be. On some days things have appeared at just the right moment and so the level of encouragement is massively unmeasurable.

As well as valuing friends we have and giving thanks for them, this time of reflection has caused me to consider how good a friend I am. Contemplation is always double edged. So today I am challenged about how I show my value of friendships to others. I guess it’s fairly It’s easy to want to have good friends without being one. I am not sure that works in the long term.

Aquinas’ words are quite amazing. Here is one fo the greatest theologian of his time. Of all the things he could say that were valuable, such as belief, discipleship, care for the poor … and the list could be endless, but I would suggest a great theologian might want to suggest something faith-wise. But, he chooses friendship. I wonder if he got that from observing how Christ spent his time, or rather who he spent his time with, on earth?

So today I am considering, reflecting, contemplating … as well as giving thanks. Maybe there needs to be a belated resolution there as well about time with friends.

 

the weekend ….

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The weekend was a good and varied one.
Tom started work at Bluewater.
Beth went shopping with Sarah to buy things that newly 16 year old girls buy. I sit somewhat stunned to think Beth is now 16. We left Nailsea a few months before she was born … and that only seems like a little while ago.
A lot of work was done on the allotment. I managed around 15 hours from Friday night to Sunday afternoon and so a lot was done. One of my new allotment friends, a great guy called Dave, also did a massive amount on my plot while I was at the cathedral on Sunday morning and it is really starting to look like an allotment plot rather than a jungle with a few vegetables growing here and there. dave has achieved in 1 day what it would have taken me weeks to do – the generosity of people is an amazing thing!

The main highlight of the weekend was, however, celebrating a good friends birthday on Saturday night in Maidstone with a good group of friends. We went to MuMu in Maidstone which was simply an amazing experience and a beautifully wonderful place to spend an evening. The experience was amazing, as was the food and the service and the staff were fantastic. If you need a great place for a celebration then go to MuMu!! I hope we can return in the not too distant future.

But for now …. it’s Monday … tell me why ….

the ‘flavour’ of Antigua

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Well … it’s been a few weeks since writing here. Most of you will know this is because of some wonderfully generous friends enabling us to have an amazing holiday in Antigua. This may be my only reflection on my time there, but it may be the first of a few or of many …. I am just not too sure yet!

In a very short space of time I fell in love with the island of Antigua. The island has an incredibly relaxed atmosphere which is difficult for me to explain.  Something can be expressed in the words of reggae and heat. Life has a slow rhythmic style due, I guess, to the heat.

I love to people watch and there were a number of things I noticed when watching the people of Antigua. People there seemed to walk proudly and calmly; due to the climate it was mad to rush about and so everything was done at a pace that seemed verrrry slow and took a little time of adjusting to. Some people adjusted to this fairly quickly and others seemed to have  difficulty with the slower pace.

I also noticed that people were interested in other people and they would chat for ages, no matter what they were doing, and they smiled easily and regularly. (in fact one of the the first things that hit me when we landed at gatwick was that people rushed and lacked a smile). Antiguan people particularly gave loads of time to children and young people, which hit me as a stark contrats to how children and young people are often portrayed in our media. Children were valued and encouraged.

The holiday was amazing and will be our ‘holiday of a lifetime’. The island is a very special place and the ‘flavour’ of Antigua, which I loved so much, has challenged me in how I should live now I am back home.
It has re-challenged my priorities of tasks vs people.
It has re-challenged my speed and aim of life.
It has challenged me to really consider what is important in life.

Now that I am back I am not embarrassed to admit that I am envious of the Antiguan lifestyle and, in many ways,  I wish I could still be there . The people there have managed to maintain something about life, people, relationships and priorities that we seem to have lost in the UK; and I think the most worrying thing is that most of us don’t even realise that we have lost them and are aware that there is an alternative. Although, I openly admit, I am not sure what that alternative is other than slow down, re-think …but our deadlines refuse us that grace!

Sadly I know the feelings and lessons from my time here will fade fairly rapidly as I adjust back to south east England living …. but I pray it does not all go and that I can carry within me some of the islands beauty that simply says ‘I have time ……..’

a mixed day

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Today was both a sad and an exciting day.
Sad for the cathedral and for the Diocese of Rochester.
Exciting for Adrian and the diocese of London.
Today was Adrian’s last official day as Dean of Rochester and he really will be very much missed.

On a personal note I could not have asked for a better training incumbent. I have always counted it a privilege to be able to learn at Rochester Cathedral from the whole of Chapter, but it has been amazing to have someone of Adrian’s calibre point me in the right direction, support me, challenge me and simply have time for me when I have needed time. I cannot express in words how much I have learned from this man. I will miss his open door, his wisdom and his sense of humour. Most of all I will miss his leadership example which is one of grace, respect and servanthood – a great example to have as a curate and one that I can only hope to aspire too, but dismally fail regularly.

Ww will all miss him hugely, but we are all immensely proud of him and feel honoured that our journey’s have crossed foe the time that they did.

Adrian moves on to be Bishop of Stepney which is an amazing role for a pretty amazing bloke.

If you are the praying type – please hold Adrian and Gill in your prayers over these next few weeks.

Krispy birthday

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Great weekend – the highlight being spending Saturday with good friends to celebrate terry’s 50th birthday …. in Krispy Kreme … different we know – which is why we did it!

I know they are a big company and everything and its ‘in’ now to knock big companies – but the staff, especially Jess, made this an incredibly lovely experience. WE laughed, made doughnuts, drank great coffee,  ate doughnuts and laughed more!

If you want a party with a difference which is well run – try out Krispy Kreme! Also, if you are part of a charity check out their fundraising offer where you can buy doughnuts from them cheap to sell at events and make money.

back to reality

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We have said goodbye to Cornwall and now we are back.

To be honest it is hard getting into the frame of mind for work again after having such an amazingly relaxing week with really good friends.

I like to reflect on the highs and lows …. but I can’t …. the whole week was simply amazing. We chilled, we ate, we chatted, we drank, we surfed, we laughed, we watched sunsets, we saw seals, we fished (I experienced sea sickness for the very first time … maybe that was a low!), we visited the Eden Project, we wandered around Padstow and my lovely family bought me a painting from Caroline Walker who we met a few years ago. I am now the proud owner of Mother Mary! (although Anglo Catholic friends do not get too excited!!! )

There were some nice surprises and reminders of an amazing God through sunsets and this seal which was a delight to see.

Just such a wonderful week – thanks to the other people I had the delight to share the week with!

Cornwall

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just going to spending some quality time here for the next few days
so it will be quiet over here!

new year family style

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Christmas and New Year have been excellent friend and family times.

We celebrated the New Year in style …. twice. We started with an amazing meal at Viners Restaurant who did amazingly at serving us all as one large party. The video gives a taste of the joy we were experiencing. (there are other more incriminating videos of celebrations but you will need to look into facebook for them!)

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

Following this we celebrated the New Year early so that the younger children could stay involved with sky lanterns and fireworks. The lanterns looked amazing as they floated above our heads before being caught on the breeze. A good way to let go of one year and welcome in another.

Later in the evening a fewer of us returned to the cliff top at midnight to release a couple more lanterns and welcome in the New Year.

The next morning we celebrated together again at the Beach Hut for lunch before we had to reluctantly pull ourselves away from Cornwall and return to Kent.

Thanks to everyone – my family and friends for making this a very special time!