Category Archives: community

A Proud Evening

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Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Achievement Evening of New Brompton College in my capacity as chair of governors. The evening was amazing with a mixture of prize giving and performing arts from different groups of students.

The quality of the performances was amazing and it seems to be getting better and better each year. As I sat and watched beaming smiles from young people receiving awards, heard the applause of students, staff and parents and saw the talent of our performing arts groups the voice from the Eucharist of 24 hours ago whispered … ‘how have we got here?’

Peter Holbrook, of the Sunlight Development Trust, was our guest speaker for the night and was right to speak of the past and remind us that the school some 6 years ago was one which the students were embarrassed to be associated with. As someone who has been linked in some way with the school since 1996, initially through Gillingham YFC and now as governor, I remember this only too well.

The picture is the complete opposite now. New Brompton College is a school where students grow and achieve. NBC is a school in which the students, staff and governors are immensely proud of. I spoke to a few parents last night who were not only proud of their young person’s achievements but also excited by the opportunities there are for them as we continue to move forward.

We have got here, in the space of 5 years, because of the dedication, commitment and hard work of the headteacher and her senior management team, backed to the hilt by the whole school staff and of course by the students who have chosen to respond to the staff that have complete confidence and belief in their abilities.

Last night was an amazing evening I left incredibly proud to be connected with our school.

3rd gathering: The Vine

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Today we had our third gathering of people who are investigating together a new way of being church. Again, I believe it was a special time as children and adults inter-mixed and discussed and thought about the theme for the gathering, which was Jesus as the Vine from John 15.

We started with some liturgy that I have adapted and added to which I originally found from Mucky Paws years ago. When each verse of liturgy was read some of the children brought stuff forward: a candle which was then lit, bread which was then broken, a bowl of fruit and a cross.

Following a short time of reflection we made bead branches which we hung from the vine in the picture. This was a great activity because it allowed the children and adults to sit together and discuss and chat over what we felt Jesus was getting at in John chapter 15. This was a great way to get deeper with the ideas and i think we ended up with more questions then we had answers – but that is quite exciting.

Sarah than asked a vital question – ‘so what … what difference does this make to us as Christians in our everyday lives?’ which sent the discussion along a different route again.

Following this we prayed and ate together and chatted a lot more.

This was quite a special time. I think we possibly need to think more still on whether we need to structure our time together better and how we end. At the moment we seem to slide from prayer and worship into eating, which might be the right thing to do, but I do wonder whether we should be doing something more tangible to mark the change? But, on the other hand, if our lives are worship then maybe we should slide from pray to eating as we do at the moment.

As I said …. lots of questions develop. At this point in time, though, I am encouraged. I’m encouraged and excited because of the way community is developing just through interest in each other being real. I am excited because the children engage and feel free to come in and out, to contribute or not, as they see fit.

Today felt more like a Sunday afternoon family gathering than anything else – and that in itself is quite exciting!

screen illusion

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I had a good day visiting some of my old haunts in London today. Wednesday is offically a study day which I did on the train and in the morning in the British Library before disappearing to the sacred cafe to study some more..

Due to all the stuff that has been happening recently I really needed opportunity to talk with a trusted ordained friend who could help with some objective reflection from an understanding from knowing the kind of work and me. It was great to meet up with Jeremy and we enjoyed lunch together. Thanks my friend!

After lunch I drifted towards the Southbank via the Regent Street Apple store where I made a couple of small purchases with the aim of helping my back while working on my laptop. I got a pretty cool stand and wireless keyboard from birthday present money. I can feel the benefits already as I type on the new keyboard.

While sitting outside the BFI with a drink I studied some more before watching people ambling or racing along the riverside. It’s always fascinating to sit and watch the different behaviours of different people. Some rushing, some loitering, some enjoying the sun, others reading, still others chatting. Everyone was seemingly doing something different.

But … I noticed today one universal behaviour. Every few minutes, or seconds in some cases, people were checking their mobile phones. The phones were not on silent but it was as if people were concerned that they were missing messages. I’m convinced that some were willing text messages to appear.

It seems to have become a habit and I thought this when my daughter challenged me only the other day when we were out together. ‘Why did you get your mobile out to check it dad?’ ‘Good question … errr I dunno!’

We are supposedly very social creatures, and maybe in our personal isolations that we create when we are in places like London we have a secret fear that these isolations may become permanent. Do we live in fear of being cut off? Of missing the latest up to date message?

As an aside more and more people seem to be joining Twitter. I left it a few weeks ago because I just did not get it. I didn’t really want to know what people were doing every minute of their lives whether it was baking cakes or reading shiny vampire novels! Saying that, I feel a certain pressure to resurrect my twitter account!

I wonder whether texts, facebook, twitter etc. may draw us into an illusion that we are communicating with each other, that we are in community with each other and that we are not alone. If gives us a fairly attractive illusion of personal interaction. Now I do facebook and I ‘get’ facebook and I do feel very connected through it. But because of facebbook updates I know what is happening in my friends lives, and that surely must be a good thing!

But …what I have noticed is that and I am now a lot less less inclined to ring a person or visit them to catch up with some people. A few years ago I might have done, now I look for the updated status. It’s possible to make comments, but once a few people have congratulated, or sent concerns, offers of help etc. it does seem quite an empty thing to do to offer what others already have.

Weirdly, the more connected we feel through such applications, the more isolated we actually are as we hide behind our screens of various sizes. We think we are living together when in actual fact we are being sucked into our screens.

And what am I doing …. sharing this with you through my blog, from behind my screen, but at least it is safe here ….

The journey starts here

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I am excited! Today has been an exciting day. Today we had the first gathering at our house of a group of people that, I hope and pray, will become a new Christian community, or fresh expression of church, or emerging church, or whatever terminology we may wish to use.

Today we met to eat together and to chat together. There were 13 of us in total, which included 6 children, and we chatted about what we felt was important if we were to learn as church and grow in community. Inclusivity was near the top of the list, with the children being able to be included or feel able to opt out out if they wished. Being at a home, rather than building or space, makes this a lot easier.

As we chatted we started to imagine what the community could start to look like, discussion and sharing ideas, people bringing worship activities with them, eating together so we get to know each other as central to what we do. We agreed to try and meet monthly to start with but acknowledge that belonging to the community did not depend on attendance alone.

It was amazing to hear of peoples dreams for what we could be doing. I am totally amazed by the whole experience. I am in awe of how God has brought us all together and the real sense of respect and excitement that was evident in our garden this afternoon.

The journey starts here! …. the really exciting thing is that none of us know where the road is leading. As in the picture, we cannot even see to far along the road as there is a ‘holy mist’ out there that we need to walk into. As we journey together we will learn more and understand more and maybe more things will start to make sense.

As for now …. we just walk forward slowly together.

If this story is all new to you and you want to know the background, you can read more about this at a previous post here.

warped intimacy

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Two things that I have been thinking on for a while connected for me last week in my ‘enforced’ time out and I wonder how others see this?

I have for a long time been concerned by the type of worship songs that we have been singing in our churches for the last decade or so and if you have been visiting SHP for a while this will be no secret to you. I have been particularly concerned with the ‘girlfriend’ songs as I have rather badly described them, where we not only seem to be singing words written by young men that could have written to their girlfriends, but also where the lyrics are all about ‘what we are going to do’ rather than being about God. The lyrics themselves often feel quite intimate and are all about our emotions towards God rather than any of the many attributes of God. This, in my opinion, causes us to think we are worshiping God when we are merely thinking about ourselves.

Another concern of mine has been the lack of community in many of our local churches today. This lack of community expresses itself from my observations in people referring to each other as ‘Mr and Mrs Whoever’ at worst and just a veneer of friendship at best where nothing is really known about each other. Here, first names are known and possibly an occupation, but that is as far as it goes over a 10 minute conversation over coffee. There is no real knowledge of what makes people tick, or what peoples interests or concerns are – I would suggest that if these bits of information are lacking then community is lacking also.

I am convinced, however, people want community and people crave intimacy with each other. People want to be in meaningful friendly relationships with other human beings. There is an inbuilt need for us to be together which is one of the many reasons that people, over centuries, have moved together in urban spaces to live ‘in community’.

My observations and memories of these thoughts last week resulted in me seeing what I wonder is a possible link and in turn has produced this question:


‘is our desire for intimacy which can correctly and rightly be found in community with God being falsely met in our new genre of worship songs?’

As we sing songs that make us feel good with lyrics of intimacy and goodness, are we being fooled by ourselves and that singing experience into thinking we have intimacy in our relationship with others in our churches? Does the feeling produced cloud our thoughts of reality, majorly distorting our perception of reality?

The other side of this, as well, produces another important question. Does our lack of community intimacy result in us producing songs that distract us from the truth of God, choosing instead to draw us into focusing on how God makes us feel rather than who God is?

I had not noticed this link before but am starting to wonder if there is something of value in this observations? Anybody have any comments?

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Last night I experienced a myriad of emotions as I left my house to travel to the Thursday night Curry Club at Wetherspoons. For a change I was not nervous or fearful of my reception of crossing the threshold; for this night I was going to meet with people who want to re-imaginge church. This night I was meeting people who had responded to an email and blog that I wrote earlier in the year which you can read here. (Then, as with now, if you know anyone this may be appropriate for please pass it to them).

My emotions tonight were a mixture of excitement, disbelief, hope rooted in a passion to serve.

Tonight 4 of us met, we chatted, we ate, we laughed, we asked questions, we shared views, we tried to imagine, we dreamed dreams.

Tonight was not church. Tonight was about listening, dreaming, respecting and was maybe even a very small step towards the development of community. The gathering tonight may develop further, or may end. I’m pretty certain we will talk more.

Tonight we were engaging with each other, with things of God and we were doing this in the real world and it was good. I think we all experienced something of God as we chatted in a pretty normal way in a pretty normal pub and looked, errr pretty normal!

If God takes this and weaves it into something that will be great and I’d love to be part of that, if God doesn’t that takes nothing away from this evening – God was still there joining that discussion. God is in the dream.

building on … ?

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On Monday I visited a local sports centre which was an interesting experience.
People who I have known for years were struck by the dog collar and were not sure how to react in front of me.

After using the gym and chatting with some blokes in the steam room I got changed and there was a little hush as I was putting the dog collar back on. I made some joke about ‘fancy dress’ which lightened the mood and produced a couple of questions around where I was and whether the cathedral was a (Roman) Catholic cathedral.

I have been struck again by the different reactions that wearing a dog collar has. I was expecting this but I guess i have been surprised by a few things.

I’m glad to say that my closest friends treat me no differently, which was a fear of mine. They know me, they know I am the same person and so they are able to relate to me in an identical way.

Others who have known my face when collecting the children from clubs or school have suddenly started smiling at me or talking to me. I have had one serious conversation with a guy about spirituality and how he does not feel comfortable in traditional church as he does not think his views fit with mainstream Christianity. It was not the time or place (tired children for both of us needing to go home) to discuss this further but I think actually the guys views just don’t sit with the tradition of the church that he has attended … his views are mainstream Christianity, just not mainstream evangelical Christianty which happens to be the ‘flavour’ of the churches he has visited.

This experience has re-emphasised to me that any new Christian community I become involved in needs to place relationship, discussion and respect above a set of beliefs that we all agree. There is a need to develop open community which is inviting and welcoming based on common humanity and a commitment to journey rather than common belief.

That may be a risky way of existing but, for me, it fits better with the journey image that we often use of Christian faith. If we are on a journey then it is not really possible for all of us to believe identical stuff all of the time. Our experience of humanity and of God will be different, we will all be at different stages of the journey and some may not even have started the journey yet at all. If we can accept that and live that out authentically I believe we will learn what it means to live the life as God intended in John 10:10 which is life as God experiences it – a trinitarian (ie in relationship) existence.

If this is truly the case a joint belief system, a statement of faith to subscribe to, cannot be the thing we base new Christian community around. Rather it will need to be some form of a rule of life which would enable a commitment to support and journey together.

frustrating emotions

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I’ve been a little more conscious of my humanity and frailty this weekend as I have put my back out and been hobbling around the house. This has meant that I have not taken part in any of the family or church stuff over the weekend – and so I have missed out on a beach walk and a church family event down by the river. I’ve been on the edge of things which has not been great.

It’s been quite a frustrating and painful weekend with me feeling pretty fed up and people coming near experiencing my frustration! It’s weird to reflect that those that I care most about seem to get the brunt of my frustration.

I guess this is a reflection of the fact that we feel less inclined to hide the reality of our situation from those we know that love and care for us. We don’t hide our true feelings from each other and so we expose ourselves, and those we care for, to both the best and worst of our behaviours.

If this is so – then it follows that genuine community (if a family is genuine community and I would say it is the best model) is not going to be the rosy atmosphere that some think it may be. As people in genuine community develop love and trust for each other, the personal guards drop and they become less inclined to put on a show of their behaviour. This means community will be messy and hard work, not a smooth beautiful ride as people sometimes seem to make out.

Community is not the answer to all life’s problems, in fact it will probably present a lot of life’s problems. I believe it is in the realities of situations like this, the rawness of genuine community relations, that the Holy Spirit can work authentically.

Messy but genuine!

group vs community

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Last night I ran what I think will be my last bit of training given with my YFC hat on – a bit of an end of a chapter really. Tonight I was with the trustees of Peninsula YFC which are based on the Hoo Peninsula in Medway.

We looked at some governance stuff and then chatted a little about our roles on the group and that it is right and healthy for the trustees to have a renewal policy – in fact it is recommended by the charity commission. Some people clearly have the gift of setting things up and when things are running start to lose interest or feel a bit of a spare part. It’s important that these people feel they cam move on.

This leaves me with a question around staying with a group or a community.
If you no longer feel you contribute is it right to leave, or if you feel that your time of contribution has passed should you leave?
If we think in this way are we mis-treating people because we are only interested in what they offer to us as a community or group rather than just accepting and valuing them as a person?

There is a clear distinction here between a group tasked with a particular job and a community. A group is task focussed and everything revolves around the task and so people with the right skills come and go. A community is people focussed and revolves around the people, changing its outlook and activity to reflect the people that make it.

I have often dealt with a number of issues of misunderstanding when people have mixed the purposes of groups up. Task groups are not communities and communities are not task groups.

Flat White

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Today I met up with Rachael at Flat White which is a coffee shop that friend put me on to. I am a bit (well a massive bit) of a coffee snob, and Flat White settled my snobbishness entirely.

The coffee was fantastic (from Monmouth no less) and the atmosphere and ambiance of the place made drinking and reading here very comfortable.

I was early, which combined with Rachael being held up which caused me to notice a few things about Flat White. Here, in this little coffee shop in Soho is a thriving community. People seemed to know each other and would pop in and out which reminded me a little of an Orthodox service where people pop in and out as they wish.

There were some unique differences. If people ordered coffee they were asked for their name. When it was ready and the person brought the coffee to the table she or he called your name rather than ‘2 cappucinos and a latte!?’. There was a personal attention given to people that is often lacking in London with questions about how the day was going, would you like another coffee and so on. I also observed someone coming home from a trip and giving presents to the staff.

I loved this place which has a great atmosphere of welcome. The staff here understand something of hospitality and I left feeling the benefits of that understanding. I think it hit me more beause it was unexpected and I was not looking for it.

I’m not ging to bang on about the parallels between this and church as I think they will be pretty obvious to the few people that read here, but its interesting for me to note that I felt more welcomed, accepted and free here than I have felt in many churches I have visited. I pray that any community that I will be involved in in the future will be able to gain this hospititality understanding.