emotional heartbeats

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The blog has been a bit quiet – I think that is due to Lent. For Lent this year I have been reflecting on ‘stuff’ and making use of CMS’s 40 days of Yes. I know I am a year behind everyone else – but that’s the way I like to be!

I don’t deliberately give things up at Lent. My psyche works against me if I try to do that – if I concentrate on not doing something I seem to end up failing! Instead, I decide to take something on … and inevitably in this ‘taking on’ means I give up time that I was wasting on other things.

I have been challenged by a few things and I think I’m going to start to blog about a couple. Today I have been thinking more about what Rick Warren calls my ’emotional heartbeat’.

I would never ever read any of the Purpose Driven Stuff. I don’t know why but the ‘driven’ language really turn me off, so if it was not for CMS I would not have found this quote from The Purpose Driven Life:

‘God has given us each a unique emotional heartbeat that races when we think about the subjects, activities or circumstances that interest us. We instinctively care about some things and not about others. These are clues to where you should be serving …..’

And so I have been asking myself for quite a few days – what is my emotional heartbeat?

At first sight this seems that it should be an easy question to answer but I am finding there are quite a lot of layers to peel through before I can get an accurate answer. There are the answers that I think I should give as a Christian, let along as an ordained person in the Church of England! Then there are the answers which others have told me which bounce around in my mind. There is also all that ‘stuff’ that was spoken over me as a child from parents as well as a young Christian in churches when I was exploring faith. You can also add the answers that the media, both good and bad, tell me I am passionate about.

I shared recently with Sarah that the Comic Relief is the only thing of its kind that ‘grabs me in the gut’. I cannot watch Comic Relief without tears rolling down my face. Even though other campaigns like Children in Need are amazing they don’t grab me in the same way. Does this mean my emotional heartbeat is in some way connected to that? I’m not sure – but I don’t think so. (I guess this is where my concern with Purpose Driven lies – the language implies an immediate action, to jump to your heart beat … but I wonder how many people have jumped rather than thought and reflected!?)

So – what is my emotional heartbeat? I don’t know … I’m still ‘un-peeling’ but in there somewhere is justice and wanting to speak out for the voiceless, and in there is people and wanting to get to know them, and in there is Christ giving people full lives and in there is something else that I can’t quite put my finger on yet …

So …. emotional heartbeats … and yours is ….?

photo Friday: mother nature

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This weeks theme is Mother Nature
I was amazed when we found this cavern while on holiday in Yorkshire.
You can see the bigger photo here.

an excellent appointment

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Today it has been announced that Adrian will be the next Bishop of Stepney.
This is excellent news for the Church of England, and the Diocese of London in particular – although sad news for both Rochester Cathedral and Diocese.

In the short time I have spent with Adrian I have learned a lot and could not have asked for a better training incumbent. It was always clear to many that he would become a bishop – and be an excellent one.

There will be sadness in a few months when we say farewell. Today, however,  is a day to celebrate a fantastic church appointment. Congratulations Mr Dean!

London Diocese press release here.

surprised to be back!

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Today I also met up with Ken Wright, the chair of the YFC board. I have been invited to become a board member and this meeting in Victoria was part of my induction to help with that.

It does seem strange coming back to YFC and coming back in such a different role. In some ways it is confusing, in some ways quite exciting … and in all ways it is a privilege and humbling to be asked. I believe my calling is to serve – and it will be a pleasure to serve YFC in this way for a while, and it seems right to do so. I’m also a little surprised!

YFC is involved in a lot of interesting ministry, particularly in local centres and with te Reflex program working  with young offenders – if you have not checked out their website recently …. go have a look …. you may be surprised!

which way?

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Today I traveled up to London to meet with Ian, my mentor who is now based at St Mary Aldermary. As ever the time was invaluable to me as Ian reflects on what I say and speaks little words of wisdom into the situations I am reflecting on or struggling with.

In particular today we were thinking about what comes next after two and a half years of training. Till this time my strategy has been pretty much wait  ………………….and then go from there. It has not been that simplistic, but the strategy has been one of observation, listening, reflection, questioning and understanding rather than getting involved in the setting up of loads of projects. In a work such as this there is always a temptation to start to do something too quickly before fully understanding the context and the needs of the setting that you are in.

The last two and a half years have not been totally inactive. In addition to the amazingly humbling and privileged links within the community, there is pub theology and the gathering.  It is these two things in particular that I think it is now time to think more about where these are going – and just this past week people have mentioned ‘sacred coffee’ and ‘holy cocktails’ which were ideas similar to pub theology in a different setting. Is the time right to branch out with new ideas, or is it right to develop what we are doing further?

I cannot pretend to fully understand just yet, but it does seem that now is the time to start to think more about how to move forward, how to develop and how to be available to people that wish to find us. There are a core of people involved in various things and so I will be chatting to thee people as well and gaining their amazing insights to what is happening.

So – it’s probably a bit of a watch this space as I chat and reflect more with people on these things.

polished

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this weeks Photo Friday theme is polished.
(I know it’s Sunday …. it’s been a long week!)

Cyril’s selling!

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Another great saint celebrated today – Saint Cyril of Jerusalem.
Another saint that has made an impression on me today as I have reflected upon his actions.

At a time of famine, St. Cyril sold precious robes and communion ornaments and utensils and used the money to buy food for those that were hungry. This wasn’t because he had a low view of the sacrament – the very opposite as he instructed those receiving communion to ‘make your left hand a throne for the right – for you are to receive a king’.

Seem,s St Cyril did not only have a deep view of the sacrement, but also had a deep understanding of what consuming and becoming the body of Christ meant in reality.

It’s not only what you believe … it’s how you believe!

celebrate the pioneer Patrick

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Today is St Patrick’s day – but then you already now that as St Patrick’s day has become a well known and popular date across the world. If I was to choose a favourite saint it would always be St Patrick. People who now me smile at this as I think (I maybe wrong) that they think my delight in marking St patrick’s day has something to do with the occasion being marked with alcohol in a bog way across the world. This is not the main reason – although I am always happy to join with the Guinness and Jameson’s!

St Patrick landed in Ireland as bishop on March 25th 433.That happens to be our wedding anniversary – the 25th March bit, not the 433 bit – although Sarah would probably say it feels like it’s been since 433!

St Patrick was a pioneer – there is no doubt about it. Going to Ireland with the gospel message with the plan to stay in that one area. He didn’t just pop into Ireland, tell a few people, build a church and then pop off somewhere else. He stayed for the rest of his life. Such was his commitment to this group of people. It wasn’t an easy place to work but he loved the people, even up fronting England over it’s treatment of Irish Christians. I also admire the way that St. Patrick used the everyday stuff well – using a shamrock to explain the Trinity.

I think St Patrick would be worried by the ‘one size fits all’ approach employed by many to faith; but I wonder more what he would think of the ‘common’ practice to move priests to new locations every few years. St Patrick stayed in Ireland for 40 years  – it’s that sort of commitment I love about him.

So – go celebrate today – St patrick should be remembered well!

Pioneer open day

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There is another CMS Pioneer Training open day on May 19th.
Go to Jonny’s blog and check out the details here.
Still wishing something like this was around when I started.

crap n all!

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I have recently stumble across, via TSK, the blog of Jamie the very worst missionary. IT makes quite refreshing reading.

Here, I think, we have a woman who is committed to her calling but also committed to sharing the grittiness of her life as a missionary in Costa Rica. Some of her blog posts make you laugh, some like ‘I have a heart for you’ (written on Feb 14th) bring me close to tears.

Too often people in mission gloss over the crap and stuff and share just the exciting bits, just the ‘victories’ and just the bits they think people want to hear. jamie says it as it is ‘crap n all’. I shall be following Jamie from now on as God clearly beams out of her writings. Why not go check it out…