The last few days have been quite tough and I really have no wish to repeat the experience in quite a while. There are still many questions flying around and a general, and correct, feeling that this, the death of Kim so young, is all wrong. And it is!

These last few days though I think I have gained an insight into loss and love.

My mum used to say ‘you won’t realise what you have till it’s gone!’. Although she used it in a blackmailing way, the statement itself has some truth in it. The other side of the coin is that familiarity de-sensitizes us. In short, we forget. Sometimes we take for granted. Sometimes we are just plain lazy.

I’ve remembered something of what love is. I’ve learned something more about this word we bat around. Today, the word ‘love’ has been cheapened by society when we say things like ‘I love curries’ (vicars words, so credit goes to him). Love goes deeper, love entwines, love permeates, love captivates, love consumes. Love happens in partnership, and when one side disapears the loss hurts, it stifles, it takes the breath away, it cripples. In the deep, entwining, permeating, captivating, consuming way love gripped; the pain of loss takes over and grips instead.

I feel that loss in part, and in just that part it is incredibly painful. I cant imagine what the full force of it is like for Steve in particular. But I do believe God feels it too, and these words from Romans 8 are great:

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.