Today has been one of those days when a dad may be proud. I am a proud dad!

I have just returned from the St mark’s youth service where Tom was the speaker for the evening. I may be a little biased, but Tom was very very good. He spoke about choices and combined a good mix of humour and challenge to deliver an outstanding talk to his peers and a good number of older people who were there as well.

Well done Tom!

Candlemas today where we remember Jesus being presented at the temple on the 40th day of his birth, and also the time when we remember the purification of Mary after giving birth.

At Evensong today this was marked by a candlelit procession to the crib which was censed with myrrh. The lights in the crib were turned off and the candles blown out as we turned away from the crib to look at the cross. It was quite a poignant moment as we reminded ourselves of where the journey is now going as travel towards Easter.

I have enjoyed today, but I still wonder what it is all about as it does not fit with my pioneering remit, although today does leave me with a question. At Evensong we also say the Nunc Dimittis, or rather I listen to the choir as they sing it:

Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace : according to thy word.
For mine eyes have seen : thy salvation,
Which thou hast prepared : before the face of all people;
To be a light to lighten the Gentiles : and to be the glory of thy people Israel.

As I listened to those familiar words it suddenly dawned on me that we were remembering the first time these words were said. That led me to wonder what I would say. If I was there, when the Christ infant was presented in the temple, what would I have said? How would I have felt? It’s actually too amazing to even think of!

Congratulations to my boss, The Very Revd Adrian Newman, Dean of Rochester, on his appointment as a Church Commissioner as outlined on this press release from the Church of England here.

He’s a top bloke!

I’m back from Bognor!

There is a little joy in my voice as it seems to me that my experience of being away from the family is more and more difficult as I miss them more and more and do not like being away for any length of time. I think this week as well Sarah could have done with me being around due to other stuff.

I have mixed feelings about Bognor, or rather the diocesan conference rather than the town. I thoroughly enjoyed networking with people. I had a number of great conversations, I met new people and like to think some have become friends (great to meet you, eat with you and drink with you Iain!). It was good to chat with the other curates, to meet with previous mentors, to drink good malt late into the night and laugh and chat and laugh some more. Missing the final meal for a curry at a local curry house was such a great idea too!

Particular highlights were getting to know these people better but also listening to Paula Gooder (who was outstanding) and Mark Russel from Church Army. These two speakers had passion, spoke with authority and sounded excited by what they had to share. The passion of those speakers was contagious to their audience and inspiring. One big plus was the teaching being earthed by Doris and Nathan – it’s too difficult to explain, but if you were there you will know what I mean.

Other highlights come from me being a seaside town boy. When the rain stopped and the sun came out I was able to get to the beach with my new camera and play a little. This was combined with a trip to Costa Coffee as Butlins doesn’t understand what coffee should taste like. Back to the beach … sitting on the pebbles and staring out to sea have always been a way for me to connect with God. Doing that early in the morning is a powerful experience as, in some way, the vasteness of the sea helps me to meditate on the vasteness of God, reminding me how little I am and how my concerns are like a drop.

Lowlights for me were what I perceived to be a narrow-ness in the worship and speaker style. All white, all middle class, mostly fairly conservative evangelical, and mostly guitar led. Most of the teaching was monologue for roughly an hour – a thing that particularly frustrates me as we know this is the most inefficient way of ‘teaching’ and yet we continue to use this method. I thought as well that the speakers, apart from Paula and Mark, were quite dry and not particularly inspiring. The main session worship was was of a similar style each time and I did wonder how our Anglo Catholic brothers and sisters felt with such a style.

I guess on the whole my experience has felt more negative than positive. A previous mentor suggested this may be a result of just finishing training and having started my missional stuff wanting to continue rather than be taken out of that to attend more teaching. There may be some truth in that. A desire to continue pioneering and missing the family have probably contributed in quite a significant way.

My biggest frustration is not so much a frustration with the conference but more a frustration with the level of understanding of the church nationally on Fresh Expressions and Pioneer Ministry. I was interviewed on Thursday morning and spoke about the group of men in their 80’s that I have linked with. I also spoke of Fresh Expressions not just being about new things and wacky worship – but, for me, was about re-finding traditional stuff and reframing it for different groups.

Despite this afterwards a number of people came to me for advice on youth work, or would I come and talk to their youth group and so on and so on … I referred them all to my local and talented DYO – sorry Phil! On the plus side I do think I succeeded in getting across how lonely and hard the pioneer stuff is and a number of people were very kind and said they would be praying for me as I wander around Rochester High Street and sit in Wetherpoons.

The number of times people asked me to explain Pioneer/FE was quite surprising as I thought the message from Archbishops advisors and such was out there. Clearly it isn’t and we need to think about how else we can explain what the thinking is behind all of this – all the time their is confusion or ignorance of anything happening could mean opportunities for linking and joining with God are being lost.

For now … I am home. Tomorrow I will back in Rochester and I am looking forward to being a presence and waiting in those places that God is calling me to wait in.

(PS The worship sessions I led seemed to go ok and seemed to help people connect with God. I am always amazed when this happens and am reminded of what a privilege it is to be able to lead people in worship of their creator. A few people wanted to know the names of tracks I used and wondered if they could have my slides. My answer to that is a big yes – and I’ll put a link here soon – but I may forget so please do email me and I’ll make sure you get them.)