change!

I love change.
Change is what I am about.
Change encompasses the thrust of my role.
For the last 20 years or so I have always had roles where change has been central to what I’m about.
So … not only do I like change, but I think I cope well with change.

Or so I thought!

It has been an interesting few months. I have found certain things a bit of a struggle but I have not been able to place my finger properly on why. It’s not been anything desperate or worrying, but I have been aware that things have not been ‘quite right’. I have been unsettled.

While having coffee with a friend the other week she asked me a significant question that resulted in an immediate answer but later resulted in a type of epiphany moment where I saw things differently.

The question was simple, ‘Do you cope well with change?’ I immediately answered yes but then this thought came into my head which said something like ‘yes, that’s true I cope with change well and have done over the years because I have been the instigator of change, I have been the person steering change. I have moved from teams and left them to cope with change. There is a lot of ‘I’ there and I think that is what my friend was causing me to think about.

There is a big change afoot with Adrian leaving to become bishop and for the first time in two decades I am experiencing a change that I have no control over. I have always been the person that has moved on to something new. I have never remained in the same place to experience change as part of a team that I do not lead.

It’s an odd feeling, I guess, and I am not sure it is a feeling or situation I can say I enjoy. But … now that I am aware of it life is back to ‘normal’; whatever ‘normal’ happend to be for any of us.

Being aware of my unsettledness has allowed me to express this through my relationship to God and I guess serves as a reminder that it is God we rely on, God we follow and God who enables us to do whatever it is that God calls us to do.

The next year or so is going to be strange, worrying, uncomfortable and quite exciting …… as I said; I love change! (but if you are the praying sort – please pray for us all as we go through this transition)

Change

There is a lot of change going around our family at the moment as there normally is at this time of the year with many families.

Sarah starts with a new class of reception children over the next few days with home visiting and stuff.
Tom will be starting Sixth Form.
Beth will be moving to Year 10 and starting GCSE’s in earnest.
Joe will be starting his first day at secondary school – a pretty major change for him.

It seems pretty much that I am the only one returning to ‘work’ this week who will be continuing with the same sort of stuff. It does, however, feel different. After nearly 3 weeks off to rest and reflect I feel things are ‘the same but different’. Relationship are continually evolving, the gathering may be gaining momentum and people certainly seem keen and excited abou pub theology ….. I could not have said any of that a few months ago.

In addition over these next few weeks I really have to get to grips with producing a portfolio of my two years work (2 years! where did that time go???) As I put that in to some form that is both understandable and markable by others I will remember more about the travel I have journeyed thus far.

So … here’s to change …. bring it on!

(the change seen in the pics are from our garden, by the way, courtesy of some great work by Read Garden Services. Jason, a good friend, has recently started this business … and I can fully recommend him if you need some work doing: 07905770628 or ready22@blueyonder.co.uk)

collabarative worship

In a weaker moment towards the end of my training I said yes to Jeremy, the Principal of SEITE, to a request to lead some creative worship with a cluster that he attends at St Mary Bredin in Canterbury.

I liked the idea of experimenting with the aim, alongside of worshipping God, of just sparking some of the creative energy in this group by helping them to experience different ways of worship other than singing. As a person who has a particular dislike of most of the worship songs we sing today I jumped at the chance! (there are a variety of reasons for my dislike of singing ranging from songs being too feminine in language to songs lyrics advocating a hope for stuff that I just think is not backed up in scripture such as ‘being taken home to heaven’ – but that’s all the subject of another post at another time).

Despite jumping at the chance of leading worship I have found this quite a difficult challenge and it is still not entirely sorted and so I have wondered why this has taken me so long – is it the fear of doing something with the ex-principal in the congregation, or my problem with wanting to be a perfectionist, or a foolish desire to be as trendy and creative as possible?

Actually, I have decided it is none of these. The reason for the hassles and confusions I am having at the moment is simply because I am working on this alone!

When I lead worship normally, the worship comes out of a group collaborative working together or journey. Ideas are shared and mulled around. Things are bounced around between different minds. Other peoples reactions cause thought processes to develop in different areas. Talking and sharing breeds creativity. When all that has nearly run its course different people then become responsible for different elements and as that happens God moves through different individuals and things are enhanced further.

Collaborative work may take longer, and it may be frustrating sometimes, but I have really missed it on this occasion. The process of leading worship to a God who exists in community, clearly needs community to consider how to worship. On Sunday morning something will be missing, it will feel incomplete as this has been put together with one mind trying to hear God but I really hope all of us, and I include me in that, take away something new of our relationship with God.

people and meetings

The last 2 days have been great days for meeting with people.
I have met with chair people of YFC trustee bodies.
I have drunk coffee with directors if YFC centres.
I have chatted ideas with diocesan staff.

The great thing about all these conversations is that, although essentially they are based around work, they also double up as conversations about the Kingdom with friends.

After each meeting I have come away inspired, or challenged, or saddened, or confused – all emotions that upset my normal equilbrium in some way or another. Although that is not always easy – I welcome that upset as through it we are able to grow, progress, move on and achieve different things.

Life is about growth – and without upsetting the norm, growth does not really happen!

a colurful day

We had a great Full Team Meeting today in Rugby with Fuzz Kitto, who is a great guy with a mass of youth work and emerging church experience. Today Fuzz was helping us to look and think about change. As many of you know, YFC will be moving into a new building in a couple of months and we are using this opportunity to ask what our culture is, and how we can improve as we move into a new era. The temptation is to stay as we are and just move who we are from the basement into our building – but we would be missing an opportunity as we enter into a time of massive change!

Fuzz said some things today that I enjoyed hearing, was challenged by, or caused me to think. He outlined how Bruggemann talks bout change occurring. We move from a stage called orientation (where we are happy) to disorientation (which can be uncomfortable) and end up reoriented (changed) as a result. This reorientation becomes the new orientation and the whole process continues.

This was a helpful conceptual model as I have noticed over the years the cycles in youth work with things ‘coming back’ now that Sarah and I did some 20 years ago when we started in this wonderful world of youth ministry.

I also liked Fuzz’s comments about people being disillusioned. This may sound simplistic but I felt there was a good amount of truth in this short sentence. Those that become disillusioned are those that live under an illusion of God. If we have unrealistic expectations of God, or think God promises what he doesn’t (e.g. to protect us from ‘stuff’) then our illusions of God crash around us, resulting in disillusionment.

His final comment I have been thinking for a while and to illustrate this Fuzz used the Bravia bouncing ball advert. This is an example of the Brueggemann cycle. We have moved from a position of where everything was black and white (orientation) to a position where there were grey issues (disorientation) and we are now in a very colourful era where it is clear that some things are just not right or wrong, but they are different.

Before you come back at me some things are also right and wrong, just as black and white are colours, but many things which we stumble and argue or could just be colourful. I have enjoyed the embracing and inclusive outlook of today.

Interesting facts about eucharist

My Eucharist reading goes on.
I found out today that at the first Eucharist’s in Uganda the bishop gave banana bread and banana beer as these were the normal everyday food items and (wheat) bread and wine were unavailable.

It also strikes me that if we are supposed to join in with this meal then we need to use the everyday that is with us and that we are used to. If we have to import stuff (as the Ugandans would have to have done) then that kind of makes the event quite foreign and open to more misinterpretation by others. Surely, the everyday earths that God is with us.

I was also surprised to learn while flicking through the 39 articles (as you do when bored and screaming children are around) that Articles 24 and 34 are quite interesting:


XXIV. Of Speaking in the Congregation in such a Tongue as the people understandeth
.
It is a thing plainly repugnant to the Word of God, and the custom of the Primitive Church to have public Prayer in the Church, or to minister the Sacraments, in a tongue not understanded of the people.

XXXIV. Of the Traditions of the Church.

It is not necessary that Traditions and Ceremonies be in all places one, or utterly like; for at all times they have been divers, and may be changed according to the diversity of countries, times, and men’s manners, so that nothing be ordained against God’s Word. Whosoever, through his private judgment, willingly and purposely, doth openly break the Traditions and Ceremonies of the Church, which be not repugnant to the Word of God, and be ordained and approved by common authority, ought to be rebuked openly, (that others may fear to do the like,) as he that offendeth against the common order of the Church, and hurteth the authority of the Magistrate, and woundeth the consciences of the weak brethren.

Every particular or national Church hath authority to ordain, change, and abolish, Ceremonies or Rites of the Church ordained only by man’s authority, so that all things be done to edifying.

In other words – the traditional ‘laws’ of our church say that everything should happen in a language that all can understand and also that one size does not actually fit all – quote: ‘they may be changed’!

So – why so much fuss about changing stuff?

Now that I have looked at the 39 articles I feel particularly holy, and in personal shock, so feel I need to go to bed. I am believing that lack of sleep in the first place caused me to look at the 39 articles as I cannot think why else I found myself there. Severe lack of sleep would seem to be causing me to quote from the said articles. I am in personal disbelief of my actions and am just about to pinch myself.

To my friends that are in shock too – please accept my heartfelt and most warm apologies! Do not worry – I am not being Anglicanised!

A flop?

Recently I have been dipping into this great littlebook,Whatever you think, think the opposite, by Paul Arden who was an executive creative direcot at Saatchi and Saatchi.

Near the beginning of the book he tells this story:

Until the Mexico Olympics of 1968 the customary way for a high jumper to cross the bar was with his body parallel to it.
A lttle known athlete approached the bar which was set at a world record height of 7ft 4.5 inches. He took off, but instead of turning his body toward the bar, he turned his back to it.
He jumped higher than any person beofre by thinking the opposite to everyone else. Hi name was Dick Fosbury and the jump became known as the Fosbury Flop and is standard today.

Fosbury’s different thinking turned a flop into a success. I wonder what the crowd thought, I wonder if they sniggered expecting to see a flop. I can’t imagine the risk he was taking in front of all those people. Imagine the news coverge if he had got it wrong. |If it had not worked, the poor guy may never have been able to jump again, sent away in disgrace for making his country ‘the laughing stock’. He was literaly risking his entire future.

Sometimes issues seem unsolvable when we think conventionally.

Take a risk: go think differently.

split personality sunday

An interesting day where I have wondered at the church and whether it can cause a split personality.

Today I have been in 2 locations, both being Anglican in nature.

This morning I led worship at St Marks. I think what we did seemed to work well. I think I was very Anglican and we had a lengthy time of sung worship, as that is what a number of St Mark-ers like to do.

This evening I sat in an excellent MOOT service thinking about accountability. There was no singing, it was very meditative and held in a building from the Anglo Catholic tradition.

Both were great, both were very different. I was challenged in both in completely, but certainly not totally separate, ways.

During the drive home I started to reflect on where God’s role for me is going to be taking me in 18 months time. Today I experienced worship that was poles apart (although not extremely apart), and I enjoyed both and see that both are needed and are appropriate. Whether both are usually appropriate to the same person should not be strange as we all have different needs and preferences at different times.

Looking ahead, I am not sure I wish to be pushed to a pole, to an extremity or right to the edge. That does not seem quite right. I think that being at extremities is dangerous and can result in harmful practice, maybe even to eventual heresy. It is also at these extremes that I seem to find people who think they are right and that everyone else is wrong.

One of the things I have loved about MOOT is that I have not met anyone like this at all. The community enjoys its style, but it is the most open community to change that I have ever been involved in I have not met anyone who thinks they are totally correct. I have only tended to find that attitude amongst people in the established church(es).

The extremes of worship need to be held in tension, but also I wonder if we need to find a both/and middle ground. Do we need to be either charismatic or meditative, can’t we be both? Do we need to be evangelical or liberal; why can;’t we be both?
Why can’t we have a unity in our wonderful mix of diversity?

you never step in the same river twice

One good thing about being in the car for a large amount of time (nearly 9 hours over the last two days) means that I have loads of time to think and pray. It also gives me loads of time to rehearse both conversations and talks that I am going to give.

This quote has been swirling around my head for a good few weeks now. I can’t exactly remember where I first saw it, but I think it was at creative thinking blog.

I think it is an apt quote for the church of today. I have lost count of the number of times over the past six months where I have heard something that sounds like:

‘we have tried that before , but it did not work!’
Such a mundane outlook!

We never step in the same river twice.
We are never in the same time space twice.
We never exerience two identical times when all the possible variables are identical.
We think it.
It may feel like it.
But time, circumstances,opportunities are always progressing, always changing.

‘we’ve never been here before, we’ve never tried it before, and we don’t know what will happen when we do it!’

Now that’s quite exciting!
That’s quite intriguing in a scarey sort of way.
I used to get scared over what may happen because I was unsure.
I think recently I have stopped taking risks!
I want to experience that kind of fear again!

Mr & Mrs Expectant from Tunbridge Wells

It was a real pleasure and excitement to be in Tunbridge Wells this evening. I was at St Philips Church for the Tunbridge Wells Churches Together joint service to share a little about YFC with Pauline, one of our board members.

This was a good evening. Quite often ‘churches together’ services just don’t work, but this was different. The worship was vibrant, the atmopshere expectant, and people seemed to genuinely want to work together, and be together. This was quite an exciting evening.

It was great to be able to meet up with people too. It was good to see Den there with James and Keri, the 2 latest members of the Weald YFC team.

It was also excellent to be able to see good friends Brian and Karen again. Brian and Karen lead St Philips and are friends that go way back to St Mark’s youth work days – some 15 years ago! All of us still look young though!

Tom also came aong and worked excellently on the IT stuff for us – a new found gifting maybe! Cheers Tom!