We were so close to safety and then it was snatched away from us!

Sunday now sees us needing to get a result at Nottingham Forest (who were very sadly relegated yesterday), by either matching or bettering Crewe’s result. It’s still in our hands, but I get more worried the more I think about it!

C’mon you Gills!

I was going to write more but I find myself freshly challenged after reading Gordon’s blog on my return. I find myself reading his post, Another Dead Link, and find myself asking myself the question ‘Who am I blogging for?’

It’s an important quetion to me as I have said lots of times that I blog for me. I don’t wish to blog for others. I genuinely set this up as a blog for me to write, to reflect, to have something to look back on; but I now an wondering if I have fallen into the trap that Gordon outlines, the trap of wondering what others will think, the trap of thinking of ‘ratings’ and the trap of ending up writing for others, to entertain and to amuse.

I wonder if I have started to go this way, especially of trying to entertain and think of what others may be thinking as I write. If this is going to be genuinely for me to reflect and look back on to see how my journey progresses (or not!) then I need to remember the root purpose of my ramblings.

How do I know, though, if I stray forom the personal reflective ‘me’ blog.

As you can see I am back from my three days in Ely. It was an interesting and tiring time, and I will reflect on my experiences there sometime in the not too distant future.

it’s weird to note that although I have only been away for 3 days that I feel weirdly out of touch. My time away was quite intense and my brain feels a bit mashed, but I sense that things have happened that I am not aware of at home and in my lovely communities of Gillingham and YFC. This has, I think, resulted in losing touch a little bit. Not too much – but enough to be noticeable to me.

Which brings me on to time. I have become conscious over these past few days how easily and rashly I throw time away. My money, which I can always get more of, I am careful with. My laptop/PDA/CD’s etc which can be replaced I am careful with. Food, of which there is plenty, I am careful with. Time, which is irreplaceable, I et slip through my fingers like sand, never able to pick it up again.

Why is that? Why do I waste time? Why do I allow time to slip through fingers? Why do I jealously guard the replaceable but have a carefree attitude with the irreplaceable.

I thought on this in the car and the only reason I can think is familiarity. Time is always there and so I forget it’s value. Money runs out at the end of the month, Food goes off if left too long and cd’s get broken. Time, though, always seems to be there and ticks along un-noticed, making no demands and drawing no attention.

God can be like time. Sitting, waiting, making no demands, drawing no attention. I think on this and scary question appears in my mind. ‘Have I become so familiar, in one sense with God, that I am letting him slip through my fingers un-noticed. Have I become so used to the presence of God around me that I am paying just lip service and missing the beauty and unique experiences of being with him.

Sadly I think I need to say yes to this. If God is always here, if God is always reaching down to meet with me, if he is always there waiting to interact – then I have to say a lot of the time I don’t notice him.

I have woken up to that in the last couple of days. I have seen and met God in others that I have spent time with people: Father John who has been in the same inner city parish for 34 years, Jamie who works with over 300 students in his church, Becca writing her PhD, Peter a policeman in Bristol, Mick my builder, and plenty of others.

Why do I only see God when I remember to look? Why do I forget to look so often and miss him so many times? Why?

I am going to be away for the next three days and guess that my blogging will slow or disappear as I am not sure whether I will get internet access anywhere.

I will live in hope of finding a stray wifi signal to piggyback on – but if not I will blog on my return – have a good few days.

I leave you with this favourite thought (there are so many) from the Northumbria Community, although slightly adapted:

Seven times a day as I work in this hungry place,
I ask, ‘Lord, why am I here?
What is there here to stir my gifts to growth?
What great thing can I do for others?
Am I stuck to just this forever?’

And seven times a day you answer me:
‘I cannot do without you
Once, my son lived your life
By his faithfulness he showed my mind
my kindness
and my truth to those around him.

But now he is back with me
And you must take his place.’

… to Dave and Neve. An excellent day for the perfect couple.

Dave and Neve got married at Cooling Castle and it was gret to see them commit their lives to each other.

Today the celebrations continued at Ernie and Janet’s (the in-laws) with my brother-in-law and new sister-in-law. This was a great family and friend affair with around 40 people to see them off before they fly on honeymoon together.

Hello,

Rest easy on your little emailing fingers – I’m not writing to ask you to do something, I just want to take a wee minute to look at the extraordinary things you’ve already achieved.
Since Make Poverty History was launched just 111 days ago , an amazing amount has happened thanks to you…
More than 80,000 people have emailed Tony Blair and told him to take advantage of the golden opportunity that 2005 represents to beat poverty once and for all.

Another 21,000 emails have gone to the Chancellor and a quite extraordinary 23,000 have been fired off to MPs.

Last Friday over 25,000 people lit up Whitehall as they called for Trade Justice during what was a glorious and record breaking all-night vigil.

22,000 people gathered in Trafalgar Square to hear Nelson Mandela tell them that this year they have the chance to change the world.

Our film ‘Click’ made TV history by being shown at the same time on 15 TV stations
(see it on our site if you haven’t already. )

The number of people, like you, who have registered on http://www.makepovertyhistory.org has stormed past the 100,000 mark.

There are a million white bands being worn as we speak – with a million more being ordered.
Quite simply it’s been an astonishing three months in which the scandal of extreme poverty has been exposed like never before – and that is a real tribute to what you’ve been doing. You’re making a huge difference and I love each and every one of you.
Please, don’t forget that in the coming 75 days before the all-important G8 summit in July, you really can make poverty history.
Well done, stay with it and thank you.
Stephen Fry

I’m attempting bizarre and weird titles to increase my blog readership. I wonder whether it will work?

The title sums up today though. We are having an extension built on the back of the house, a kind of den/work/relax area. The roof went up yesterday and the plumber came today to reroute pipes and alter the soil pipe (too much detail I hear you say). The poor guy was still here at 6 when I got home from Chislehurst.

I was there today to be involved in the first set of interviews for the director of Chilsehurst YFC. This is their first appointment so they are understandably excited. It’s amazing, yet all the exec come from very different backgrounds and are of different churchmanship, yet they are all in total agreement about the sort of person they are looking for. The know exactly what they want. Shame that it can’t be that easier in other church relationships.

So there goes the plumber and the interviews! Bananas and bottles of water?

I had an amazing governors meeting tonight at New Brompton College. Tonight I was re-elected as vice chair and we were able to see the progress that the school is making. Standards are improving, we are managing to recruit teachers (if there are any excellent maths (and other) teachers out there who want a challenge in a demanding but rewarding school have a look on the Medway or TES website) and things are generally improving. This great to see as the school has had a tough time.

The community are starting to see that the school is making progress are certain sections are starting to be happy to be associated with the school. Following research and advice from inspectors that each child could benefit from having a banana and bottle of water to eat and drink during the exam a local supermarket is supplying the fruit and water for each child in the morning and afternoon.

I think its great that the local supermarket is doing that to support the school – and obviously get a bit of good PR for themselves.

As I said, a day of plumbers, interviews, bottles of water and bananas!

Tomorrow I’m going to see Bishop Brian – but that’s another story!

Today has been a day of looking at mission.

This morning I drove to Coventry with Malcolm. We had a great chat on the way up about mission, God and stuff – some of which I am sure I will blog about in the not too distant future. Amazing, but it always seems that when you have someone in the car that the journey goes a lot quicker.

We met in Coventry with other YFC centres to look at how national YFC can help local centres take their evangelism/mission/whatever one step further. I think this is quite an exciting time within YFC as we try to get to grips with how we can support local sustainable mission which will result in well discipled and mature Christians a few years down the road.

Tonight was the third Reel Questions session. We looked at relationships and contrasted the relationships Jerry McGuire thought he had with his clients and colleagues and that between Sam and Frodo in Fellowship of the Ring. We also looked at the clip from Return of the Jedi where Darth Vader steps in to save Luke as an illustration of how strong the father / son love can be.

In the first two films I was struck by the contrast in shallowness of Jerry’s relationships compared with the depth of Frodo and Sam. Sam knew exactly what Frodo would do, but Jerry was not aware the guy he had been mentoring was carrying this burden of having to fire him – Jerry had not noticed. The contrast was relationship out of task/profit/personal gain compared with relationship out of love. How many relationships we have today are out of a desire for personal gain of some description compared with being from a genuine love or admiration of another person. It’s quite a deep and challenging question to ask yourself. Some of the answers might not be that comfortable.

The session went well and one of the guys decided he had learned enough by tonight to become a Christian. How exciting is that! The hard work of appropriate discipleship now needs to start. I am quite tired of seeing people become Christians, not get nurtured by church, and then kick God into touch. We hope that this time this will not happen.

So they have elected a new pope. There seems to be some surprise at how quick it was done and it seems a lot of people are either very excited or very unhappy at the ‘sameness’ of Pope Benedict XVI to Pope John Paul II. As with everything, you can’t please everyone!

I know that the reporters and advisors are saying that essentially there will be no change from previous policies. I think, though, we should be praying that God will be able to use this man. I have problems with parts of Catholicism, but I acknowledge it is the largest Christian denomination in the world.

I will be praying that this new pope will re-investigate the area of contraception, the role of women, and sexuality generally. He has a great opportunity to do so much good, especially in the AIDS ridden areas of Africa. We believe in a God of miracles, and I can’t see why we have to think that the Catholic church is outside the influence of The God of Miracles.

Its been an odd couple of days where everything I had planned to do has been changed.

Beth has been off school yesterday and today. I was working from home today but had not catered for a sick little girl needing me every 20 minutes or so. Coupled with that the builders started to put the roof on our extension, so it has been a fairly noisy day. Extension looks good to and looking forward to having a bit more space to work and be creative in.

Tomorrow I am supposed to be at the Youth Spirituality Conference. I was looking forward to this conference quite a bit. Somehow the block booking of 15 of ours has slipped through the net – so if anyone is going and takes good notes I would like to have a look please.

I am now going to Coventry instead to meet with some YFC people regarding our thoughts on integrated mission. This will be an exciting day too, as we look at how national YFC can help local centres move their mission on one step appropriately and realisticaly. I’m quite looking forward to meeting up with people and joining in the dialogue which will, with this group, lead to action.

These 2 days, though, have brought all the stuff back about making plans, being flexible and so on and so on. It has reminded me of an old work practice that I have neglected recently … trying to stay ahead on paperwork so that I could prioritise people properly, by that I mean I can happily spend time with people within worrying about how to meet deadlines and realising, too late, that I will have to stay up till the early hours to get things done.