Author Archives: robryan65

Unknown's avatar

About robryan65

fallible human, like a phoenix runner spouse, father, grandpa, Jesus lover, creative, real ale, rum and malt whisky drinker dancing - expressing only personal views.

7 Busted Myths

Posted on by
2

imagesFollowing from the research releases a few days that I mentioned here, Norman has blogged a great post here exploding 7 myths about Fresh Expressions of church.

Like most pioneers I have, and do, encounter these, some on a daily basis which can be just a little frustrating! But … the research shows these what were thought of by others, and are still thought of, as facts are in fact myths that need destroying, dismissing, and throwing out of the window!

The 7 Norman identifies are:

1. It’s just about copying what works elsewhere
2. This is only possible with large urban congregations
3. You need a large team to start a fresh expression
4. Only evangelicals are interested!
5. Start with worship and you will grow church
6. Fresh Expressions are all the same
7. Fresh Expressions are about getting people into ‘real’ church.

Go read more here.

I guess I encounter 5 and 7 most regularly. To be honest they frustrate the hell out of me!

I guess 7 winds me up the most … as if I am going to spend my time building relationships with people and engage and create with them in some weird way to coerce them into a church building! I mean why would any honest person, let alone a Christian leader, do that. Fresh Expressions is about creating a new authentic expression of church in the culture you find yourself. Why, oh why, is that so difficult for people to get their head around!? We don’t need to come to real church because we are real church.

If 7 winds me up the most, then 5 worries me the most. Give us a guitar and some music and the church will grow. Personally, I have a problem with that as I think a lot of what is sung in some churches is simply not worship. There seems to be a lot of ‘me’ focussed stuff … and even worse I think a lot of it is poorly written. As I heard a person say recently …. ‘if I never sing a poorly written line from a worship song again then it will be too soon.’ Rather than focus new church around worship, worship grows out of new Christian community. rather than impose worship on a community, we need to allow it to evolve. That has started to happen at the gathering and it is incredibly exciting.

Anyway … time to hop off the soapbox and hit the sack! … But go read Norman’s blog … very thought provoking.

just get on with it!

Posted on by
Reply

new construction 2I had a great day on Tuesday doing something a little different by hopping up to London Diocese. Part of my role on the MACE team in Rochester Diocese is to help people develop Fresh Expressions of church and look at how we can birth/grow/plant church in areas of new housing.

Today I met with Dr Ian Sesnan who is the Strategic Development Manager for London Diocese along with Rev Simon Rea who is the pioneering minister at St Peters, Edgeware. Both of these great men are doing amazing things and I felt that the 2 hours with them was easily equivalent to 2 weeks of research and phonecalls. They validated stuff I have been thinking and doing for some time … such as long term incarnational ministry so that we learn the ‘language’ of the area …. but I also learnt some tips for communicating and working alongside developers.

One thing I was reminded of was that the church community has a ‘right’ to be in a place and a right to speak on behalf of those she has been serving. One thing that hit me our meeting is not that there is just a need to provide community spaces in areas of new development, but that there is also a requirement to ensure the sustainability of that community space. Because, essentially, the church will never leave and not motivated by money … the church can more or less guarantee the sustainability of this space which is desperately needed.

As a bonus Ian and Simon wanted to hear about our vision for Gillingham High Street, and they were able to offer some great insights and suggestions for a way forward. One inspired comment from Ian was something like ‘taking an interim space and presence as a first step’. Sometimes maybe I have been guilty of waiting for too many boxes to be ticked rather than simply getting a space and getting on with it!

This was a great day … it got both my thinking brain and visionary brain working again …. thanks Ian and Simon for your time … much appreciated! (Now I just need to go and write up all this enthusiasm for the diocese!)

dancing eyes

Posted on by
Reply

eyeToday has caused me to think of the fragility of life.

This afternoon I visited someone in hospital who was one of the old guys I would talk to at least twice a week for 4 years in Wetherspoons. Seeing this man who used to happily catch two buses only a little over 18 month ago to join me for a pint on a Friday hooked up to lots of leads on a hospital bed was pretty moving. This guy was always full of energy and joked and laughed … and yet today …. today he seemed fragile …. vulnerable …. but still together and happy.

The hospital experience has not been great for this man. Yet, despite his age, his fragility, his vulnerability …. he is still a strength to the rest of his family, and even to himself.  Crushed but not broken comes to mind, and I am pretty convinced there is still some life in this amazing man yet. I pray there is.

At this point I want to say ministry of this type is such a real privilege. As we talked for around 30 minutes of what life was now like, this man shared his insights and there is no other word to describe the experience of simply sitting with him for that short time. Privilege sounds like some sort of crap Christian cliche … but it’s not … it’s an honest assessment of how I felt as I walked away from this gentlemen’s hospital bed.

I went to hospital today thinking I was going to support and sit with this guy. When I left I felt that he had sat with me. It’s not that we talked about me, because we didn’t, but in that simple act of sitting together it was like some synergetic accumulation of respect and love both immersed and held us for a short while.

In that short while, I met Christ, the vulnerable, weak, but still together Christ. Christ sat with me today and started at me …. quizzical eyes. This man’s eye’s burned blue at me …. the body was frail, the breathing was laboured, yet the eyes were dancing.

Thank you mate
May your eyes dance a while longer my friend.

breaking hearts

Posted on by
Reply

c5b03c1aaffd6856dcbe153071d9b430I stumbled upon this excellent quote from CS Lewis on my friend Grahams blog:

‘To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable’.

At first sight his talks about the vulnerability of love … but if we are called, or created, to be in relationship with each other … CS Lewis is really talking about the vulnerability of any human relationship. A raw vulnerability that may well result in a broken heart.

A broken heart at first sight, again, seems to be a bad thing. But in my vulnerability thinking I have started to wonder if this is really the case. To grow in love, in care and in understanding needs a willingness to be vulnerable, and I am not sure true vulnerability happens without the heart being broken now and again. Actually I wonder whether the more the heart is broken and the more we allow God to impact it … that the better that must be.

As I have looked over Gillingham this past year and the lives of some people that I am amazingly privileged to have been involved with …. there have been occasions when I have wept for people and situations. I wonder now if my heart broke for them. At feeling the pain between what is needed and what will happen my heart has been broken because I have realised the pain won’t go … and that all I can do is stand and hold the pain with them. To stand in the crap of life alongside them and stay with them as they deal with it.

I have prayed to God to change things …. and God has reminded me that we are supposed to be the hands and feet of our creator. Being hands and feet of the creator is inevitably a pretty messy and painful experience. An experience that breaks hearts.

As I have been rolling this over and over in my mind, I stumbled on this video on WOTP. In this there is a discussion between Brian McLaren and David Wilcox. The opening question in this video is ‘what breaks your heart?’ Wilcox answers this with ‘the gap between what is needed and what I carry’. I think I relate to that and think he explains the feeling I have above better than I ever could do.

McLaren is amazingly honest and replies ‘I don’t think my heart gets broken enough anymore.’ He seems uncomfortable by this admission, and it causes me to ask and challenge myself in that area.
How much heart breaking is enough?
Is there a point when it becomes too much?
Does allowing our heart to be broken ever become unhelpful, or does it just inspire us to keep going further?

Anyway … I find Graham’s words and this video quite challenging … so why not check them out.

live in, play and enjoy the present

Posted on by
Reply

imagesI have been thinking more about the ‘humble of a child’ line of Jesus. Quite soon after writing my post on ‘distracted by God‘ I realised I had forgotten all about play.

In the examples I gave of the Shibboleth and the busker I think I missed something. The children didn’t just have the time to be distracted, they didn’t just divert their attention to what was in front of them, they didn’t just engage with what was before them. They played.

With the Shibboleth, they ran their hands down it, they dropped things in it, they balanced on it, they jumped over it, they tried to stretch across it. With the busker children danced, they sang, they jumped up and down. Children play.

When Jesus says we need to be humble like a child …. is there something about play that we have lost in our relationship with God, each other and the world? To play, or to experiment takes a certain level of vulnerability … especially for an adult. Sometimes, for an adult to ‘play’ in front of others there needs to be a certain level of humbling.

I remember 2 years a go buying a cuddly toy with my daughter, for my wife, in the Bear Factory. The Bear Factory is one of those shops where you can choose and make your own cuddly toy. Unbeknown to me at certain times during the day a member of staff in the Bear Factory will stand on the counter, call all the customers to attention and get them to sing the Bear factory song … which has actions! I mean, that is my worst nightmare …. worse than those cheesy action songs you get in some churches that when you look around realise the children are not joining in and that the children leaders, alone, are enjoying themselves!

So …. i am in the  shop at ‘that time’, with my daughter, trying to but a stuffed cuddly penguin for Sarah, with everyone singing and doing the actions to the bear factory song. I didn’t join in. I felt vulnerable and I did not want to look stupid or feel silly.

But afterwards …. and this IS the really annoying thing … I felt silly anyway! I felt silly for not joining in. (I mean what is that about??!!) After all, it was just a bit of Christmas fun. I probably looked the odd one out, just because I could not forget I was an adult, humble myself, and sing a song with a few actions for 60 seconds. I did not play. Because I did not play, in some way I missed out on something!

In the early days of my ordained life I used the terminology of ‘play’ to describe my role … ‘to play and create with God’. Actually, it shocks me to realise I had forgotten that language. Alongside losing the language, I think I also stopped playing; and for me that means stopped creating, stopped messing about with ideas with God and others until something happened.

For the last few weeks I have been pretty much immersing myself in grace and vulnerability readings and videos. There is a Jean Vanier video on Work of the People that talks about the need to be a child and the need too have fun.

A key part of that play is a requirement to live in the present. This is something, again, that children seem to find easy to do. Forgetting yesterday, and not worrying about tomorrow, means they can live in, play and enjoy the present. Personally, I am starting to trust and so stop worrying about tomorrow … forgetting yesterday is a bit more of a challenge!

Vanier is an amazing guy who talks really powerfully. The clip is 17 minutes long, but it is worth watching and dwelling on …. if you click on the pic you should be redirected … (on testing it you may need to click again!)

…… life is about relationship and fun …. not about winning medals.

preview_jean_wide_clip

worlds shortest commentary

Posted on by
Reply

urlI enjoyed reading this the other day from Ben Myers …. the shortest ever commentary  on the whole Bible.

A sample:
Matthew: We thought his teaching was a mirror of God’s Law, but we were wrong. The Law is the mirror, reflecting him.

There’s more … go read

distracted by God

Posted on by
1

distraction-quoteYesterday morning’s office readings resonated very strongly with my ‘not growing up’ post from Monday. Actually, I read the wrong part of the lectionary for the NT reading and fell upon Matthew 18 : 1-7 rather than the reading of Matthew 24 … but it is interesting that I read this by mistake

Because that reads:

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’  He called a child, whom he put among them,  and said, ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.‘If any of you put a stumbling-block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of stumbling-blocks! Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to the one by whom the stumbling-block comes!

As I approached this through Lectio Divina I was struck particularly by the line:

Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

As I rolled the words over I became fixated on those words humble like a child.
What is that?
What does the humbleness of a child look like?
And … how do we become humble. whatever humble is?

The dictionary uses words like: not proud or arrogant, modest, a feeling of insignificance, low in status, respectful.

I remember years ago back in the day when I was a member at the Tate. It was the year that the Shibboleth was on display. I noticed adults, those ‘important’ adults, observed the crack, walked around the crack, tried to explain the crack, but at no time did they interact with the crack. Then they would move on.

I noticed the children. The humble, insignificant respectful children who walked around the crack, did not care or try to work out how it was made, they just enjoyed it. They poked hands down it, dropped things in it. while some even fell in it, but they were captivated. Shibboleth had their attention. Their lack of self importance and associated busyness allowed them to be distracted and experience the Shibboleth.

I have observed similar behaviour in many High Streets when a busker or street entertainer appears. It is always the children who stop, or try to stop. The children listening to the music and wanting to stay and watch are pulled along by hurrying parents. But as they move away I have often seen children constantly looking back at what had previously held their attention and has been ripped away from them. It was as if they were totally focussed on the entertainment. Their lack of self importance and associated busyness allowed them to be distracted and experience the busker.

And this causes me to wonder and think aloud …

I wonder if there is something in the act of being humble like a child that brings balance to our ‘self’ attitude. A balance that reminds us we are not the centre of the universe and that, actually, we are not as important as we think we are and ‘YES’ we do have time for this.

The adults rush on, the children wish to stay.

I have contemplated what Christ is saying here. What is it that we are to copy from that humbleness? I wonder if it is the distraction thing.

To be humble, is to be in awe of what you see around you, to be interested in the small bits of beauty that pop up now and again, to accept  our place in all this with a realisation that we are not overly important and do not need to charge and rush around.

I think, to be humbled like a child, is to be distracted …
What might our lack of self importance and associated busyness allow us to be distracted by? 
Distracted by God? 

God’s crazy about me!

Posted on by
Reply

WGF13-Nadia-Bolz-Weber2I like to read a few other blogs, I have favourites that I go to as soon as I see a new post has been added. One such blog is that of Nadia Bolz Weber. I love her insights and grittiness of her real, and often raw, message.

This week I have  listened to Nadia’s sermon on Matthew 13, the baptism of Jesus,  quite a few times.

Her message is hard hitting, although easy to listen to, but ….. this is what really grabs me and has kept me held for the last few days is her whole take on God loving us first and what this relationship with God is like. Listen to her sermon, you won’t regret it.

Nadia challenges me by relaying what an old guy said at her 12 step meeting: ‘I don’t know about you, but my God is crazy about me’.

I believe that.
I know God loves me …. not for what I have done but for who I am.
Similarly a few days back I linked to a Brene Brown video where she said: ‘your worthiness is a birthright and not something you earn’.
I believe that … really I do …

BUT

if I believe it, why is it so stupidly bloody hard to live like I believe it?
if I believe it, why do I notice myself trying to prove myself, to earn myself points, with a God who already is crazy about me?
If i believe it, why do I still search for a father figure so that I feel ‘acceptable’ to the world and to God?
If i believe it why am I sat at my desk at 1230am trying to get one more job done?
Dave Jacobs writes here about giving ourselves ‘a wide moment of quiet leisure’.

if I believe it … why can’t I just believe it
That’s THE question of the moment for me
That’s a question I am struggling through.
In some ways just accepting it is too stupidly easy that my mind yells out that there must be some form of catch. 

So … thanks Nadia for challenging my mindset and self worth, and my whole life really … i’m trusting because I do believe it, but at this very moment I don’t know how I believe it or how I am going to live it!

not growing up

Posted on by
Reply

6a00d83451b3d069e20162ff2794b1970d-800wi-264x300.jpg.pagespeed.ce.Lb7chRZnaXToday has taken me by surprise.
I’m not a Monday kind of person.
I just don’t like Mondays.
Normally.
Until today.

Recently I have made a bit of a positive mind change.
This can often occur when I have spent a lot of time in contemplation.
I guess this mind change can best be described more as wholeheartedly accepting my calling (again!). An acceptance that means inevitably I will deliberately make myself vulnerable as I adopt a more focussed approach. A focussed approach that refuses to sit down, be quiet or take second best. An approach that means I am ready again to fight passionately for what I believe in, and am called to. I guess Frank Turner word’s from Photosynthesis:

And I won’t sit down
And I won’t shut up
And most of all
I will not grow up

The ‘not grow up’ line of that song always makes me smile. When I left YFC after around 15  years of fun, as was normal, a bunch of people gathered around me to pray for me. One of the more mature people felt he had a message from God from me …. the exact words I still remember …. ‘I think God is saying I am placing you as you … and you are not to lose that childlike cheeky chappie outlook ….. DO NOT GROW UP!’ (That’s my excuse for a lot of behaviour and I’m sticking to it!!)

That growing up stuff of taking yourself too seriously, thinking of lots of reasons why things have to be kept the same, thinking of even more reasons why we can’t change how we do something, worrying about bills to pay, promotion prospects (as if!), or what people might well think of me …. rather than the childlike outlook of seeing a simple solution, accepting others at ace value, trusting others (unless you have a good reason not to!) and (which I think is a gift of mine) seeing the lighter side of things and being able, and willing, to bring humour to a situation along with a certain uncomfortable focus and determination …. it is that childlikeness that I think I need to keep and nurture ….

I guess I am outlining an attitude of no compromise as I seek to develop stuff here that we know God has called us to set up.

So why the change?
Wasn’t I always sold out on this?
Well … hmmm …  yes … and no!
I guess this is not a change, as such really, as this is how I have normally worked. This is more of a recommitment. To get things done, often you need an uncompromising outlook and attitude.

To use labels, though, as a pioneer it is easy to feel alone and I happen to love working in teams. I think that’s biblical and i genuinely am convinced of the synergy effect of team working. Until quite recently I have felt alone in my vision, particularly for the High Street for some time, . But this has not been the case in reality. I started to remember this a few weeks ago when a good friend sent me this scene from Harry Potter:

The trouble with allowing yourself to feel alone is that it can cripple your ability to think, to create, to speak out … to do anything really.
For a little while I have felt crippled, hindered, held back and prevented from doing my thing with God. But, as my friend reminded me I am not alone in this. It only feels like it. It is like I have allowed myself to be fooled by stuff around me!

Today has taken me by surprise as I was reminded in quite an amazing and humbling way, in an unexpected forum of the local ministers forum, that I have the support of many people. Not only do I have support and prayer of the local leaders, colleagues, but I have people willing and wanting to get involved. It’s easy to forget that, but exciting to be reminded.

So …. today is a new day … and tomorrow too … i know the hassles and struggles will not disappear ….. but it seems today I am ready for them again ….  maybe I’m simply saying …. I’m back!’ Or…. if I kept a diary, maybe I’d call this ‘the day I remembered I’m not supposed to grow up!’

Examen the weekend

Posted on by
Reply

dissonanceIt’s been pretty much a weekend of blessings.

But … it’s interesting to note that when you immediately look over a weekend that often the bad things jump out and flavour your thoughts… the bad things like the dog is now terrified to go on his walks and just freezes and stands still. While it is really sad and horrible to see our once very confident walk loving dog standing still and trembling, we are hoping that with gentle encouragement this will improve.

But … good things happened this weekend …

On Friday afternoon I got to have a great chat about the important stuff with a good friend in the pub.
On Saturday the Gills won 2-0 … easily … against arch rivals Swindon!
Saturday evening we had a great meal with our next door neighbours.
On Sunday my little brother came to lunch with Tanya and Jack
Sunday night I went to the United Service which was great as we looked at how we could work together better to help the people of Gillingham.

I have been able to pull myself away from the negative this weekend and allow the positives to take over. This, I think, is because I use the Examen. Using the Examen as part of my personal rhythm of life allows me to see the day in a better balance. It allows me to think through in which situations or conversations I felt alive and in which situations I feel drained or depressed… (and where God is in both) and to try to balance my days in the future accordingly. For the geekier amongst us there is now an Examen app (thanks Jonny) which I am trying out …. seems ok too!

The Richard Rohr daily mediations also help me in this and have, in my opinion, become even more amazing over the last couple of weeks due to a change in format. On each Saturday an email now pops into my inbox which sums up the week and leads me through a sabbath meditation to earth what we have been contemplating through the week. If you are not signed up for these … well you should be because they are pretty amazing!