Monthly Archives: September 2018

cramped space

Posted on by
Reply

IMG_0995It’s easy to do … and I think already, now 14 days in, I fell into a bit of a cramped / space / busy situation trap. As I kinda said in my last post without actually saying it; there is a mass of stuff to learn here. The juxtaposition of a rich array of different cultures, values, interests, concerns, lifestyles is pretty mind-blowing.

In that desire to learn, to gather info, to meet people, to make friends, to start to put roots, to seek to understand, to find people and places of peace, to watch God, to ask more, to think ‘what is God doing here?’, ‘What is church in this setting?’ and also ‘what does ‘mission’ look like here?’ ….. it’s easy to pack a diary and leave little room for thinking or for processing what is being said.

Yesterday was set to be a busy day.
I had a sermon to think on, reading to do and appointments to make.
A BT person came to sort out the faulty phone line in the church.
I was waiting for Virgin Media to give me a phone line and internet connection.
At about 8:45 am, after Morning Prayer in the chapel, I left the vicarage with the church keys.
I closed the vicarage door. As my arm was pulling closed the door my brain was shouting ‘Noooo!’ My arm ignored my brain.
No keys
Well … wrong keys … church keys … not vicarage keys
No phone
No wallet
and really rather dire …. I was outside with NO HAT!

I stayed relatively calm, after a little panic and angry with myself moment,  and felt God say …. ‘I need you … just you!’
As I pondered what that meant I started to chat with people who stand outside the vicarage waiting for the bus. I chatted in the vestry with the BT engineer. I chatted with some of the congregation who were passing. As I sat in the vestry I suddenly realised I had unexpected space to think about what I was hearing.
The space allowed ‘stuff’ to settle, to work it’s way into my thinking.
i chatted with more people and was more ‘available’ …. which is something I may have been fooling myself into thinking I was being.

On the situation … my amazing church warden had an old key to one of the locks on my front door which worked. And I have learned a valuable lesson … In this new space it is vital and important and imperative that I meet people, watch things, see what is going on and learn as much as I can … but all of that is lost if I allow myself to be cramped by meetings and the urgency of the task without having space to think, to reflect, and come up with more questions and maybe some ideas.

I think it’s not so much a new lesson learned … but an old secret remembered … for the next few days at least!

12 days

Posted on by
Reply
IMG_0947

The parish of St Barnabas Little Ilford 

This is my 12th day as the priest here at St Barnabas.

Everything is still new … life here is soooo different than anywhere else I have experienced life up to now.

One difference that I like is that the High Street wakes up later and rests later … so much later …. I could even get a haircut here at midnight if I wanted to! (no unkind jokes now!)

The streets are still pretty vibrant at 10pm at night and the variety and quality of food is pretty stunning. There are plenty of other differences too …. all which seems to feed, or breed, a certain personal vibrancy that I can feel is retuning.

So … these 12 days have been mainly full of listening. I have met people in the church and we have chatted about things we think St Barnabas is good at and may be called to be involved in. Poverty is a major ‘in your face’ reality here. In my last post it was obviously present but hidden … there is no hiding here and I am close to tears when I see so many people clearly sleeping in doorways, under trees, in churchyards …. wherever there is shelter. I don’t want to get political … but a government I voted for a while back virtually eliminated homelessness …..  it’s back and looks worse than it did under the Thatcher regime.

So maybe we will discover from God that our mission is to be involved in poverty in some way …. or maybe we will discover something else as we continue this journey of listening and hearing and trying to discern what God is doing.

I am merely focusing us and asking,

‘What is it that God doing here … whatever it is, lets join in!’

That’s a Rob translation of (ex) Archbishop Rowan’s gem of a quote!

In these 12 days I have also met a few people from the community and some of my fellow vicar colleagues. Today it was amazing to visit the Trinity Centre and have a chat with Paul, the Operations Director,  about all the amazing stuff that is going on there and the incredible heritage that it comes from. As I left Paul very kindly gave me a gift of New Londoners, an amazing photo story book written and photographed by young refugees. It is a beautiful book which is an indication of the beauty and love that may be found in this area.

As I look ahead, after 12 days, I am often daunted at the tease, sometimes scared, usually excited … but always aware that I am one small cog in this story that was being travelled and will continue long after  have gone ….. and in reality, for now, for me …. that leaves me with a lot more prayer walking (if anyone fancies joining me …. we can have a great lunch after!) and listening to people.

This could take a while.

resilient and primed

Posted on by
Reply

IMG_1020I attended my first Chelmsford Diocesan training event yesterday as part of the process of being a new incumbent. The day, run by Cognacity, was particularly useful for me, 4 days into the role. Looking at strategies and ‘tricks’ to avoid stress and look after mental health after a 6 weeks break and, as such, still very much ‘unstressed’ is, I think, a great time to do this course.

As an outcome of this course we have had to choose one or two little things to do for the next 21 days. These would be something that we have not usually done but would be very manageable … like going for a 10 minute walk at lunchtime, rather than eating lunch in from of the laptop. I’ve never been good at keeping to tick sheets, but I am trying to ensure my two targets become a habit and so looking forward to seeing how that goes.

In my experience we all work too hard, all tend to think we are indispensable (and possibly indestructible as that is what auto-correct tried to change that to!) but actually burn out and inefficiency and cynicism become a real risk when we push ourselves too much. So … I’m going to attempt a healthy way forward …. with this space!

After my brief trip to Chelmsford it was great again to meet up with Richard as my MA supervisor … and he gave me some great pointers to start thinking for our next batch of assignments … so I feel kinda primed for a new term … but more than that it was just great to catch up with an amazing good friend.

All in all a pretty good day.

starting again and deep water

Posted on by
2

It’s been too long since I wrote something here.
It has been an age since I wrote anything here about how I was feeling and what I was up to …. for a number of reasons I was simply not able to.

But today ….
I start again
as I begin to explain a new chapter.

licensedMany of you know that on Thursday evening I was licensed and installed as the Priest in Charge of St. Barnabas Little Ilford. There’s pictorial evidence here to show it really happened as I look semi terrified as to what has just occurred and what I now have to do as I stand next to Bishop Stephen.

Yesterday was our first Sunday service together which had an amazing warm and community feel about it… even though it did start at 9.30am.

As we gathered in a  giant circle of nearly 40 people around the altar and shared bread and wine I felt this was an incredibly special moment for us as church. People have worked hard and prayed over the last 16 months for a new priest … and they got me! I feel amazingly honoured and already love being part of this community … many of you will feel sorry for them!

Bishop Stephen challenged us at the licensing.
He used the story of the fishermen going back out in Luke 4 after Jesus tells them to return to the deep water and cast out their nets again. This instruction came after they had been fishing all night with no catch. I wonder what the dynamics were on that day … a young carpenter telling experienced fishermen how to do their job. It must have been ‘interesting’ at bare minimum! Anyway, we know the story and that they caught so many fish that their nets started to break.

Bishop Stephen used this to challenge and remind us that our task is to put out into deep water, put down our nets, and expect a catch. This means stepping out of our comfort zones and finding new ways of being church and engaging meaningfully with people.

So … its an exciting and scary time … exciting as we know we are called to set out and do some new stuff (I’ll say more of that later) and scary as we are all in this boat together, setting out, with no clue whatsoever where the boat will go or what we will find as we set out ….. but that’s what we are called to do …. so … off we go!