a space to talk about faith, church, god, society, our journey and all that real stuff that matters in a post modern world … or just the ramblings of a bald post modern pilgrim! I must stress the postings on this site are my own and don't necessarily represent the views of anywhere I may happen to be working. These views are personal!
I like to be challenged … no … really I do. I love a great discussion. One thing I particularly enjoy is pub theo (which happens tonight, 7.45pm at the Dog and Bone with great curry – shameless plug!!!) because people come to talk, are generally open to listening to each other which sometimes results in people changing an opinion.
Over the last few weeks, though, I seem to have come across quite a fair bit of cliche conversation stoppers … such as “well … I’m a Bible believing Christian’ … or … ‘You can’t pick and choose .. you have to believe ALL the Bible’. I have come to see these as conversation stoppers because they have been used that way … to stop me in my tracks with the expectation that the discussion should not stop … dead … there and then! Sorted! One way and all that!
Faith Interrupted writes well about this today. I love Brian McLaren’s words that are quoted …
The Bible is too good and too important to be left to those who won’t think critically about it. And frankly, it’s too dangerous!
One place to do some of that critical stuff is pub theo now and again … it’s important … it’s fun … don’t close the conversation … open it … lets challenge each other!
Today my little girl is 18.
I can remember her birth, in our first house in Gillingham, as if it were yesterday.
I can remember this perfectly formed little person being placed in my arms, only a few minutes old, and instantly falling in love with her.
Nothing has changed.
She is still perfect and still loved.
As a parent it has been amazing to see this little girl grow up in to the amazing person that she is today. Although I like to think she is still my little girl … it is clear that she is a beautiful young woman, with her own mind and her own dreams, which I believe she will achieve. Her creativity showed at an early age in this ‘hair’ picture one afternoon when left to her own devices … styling not just herself, but persuading both her brothers to allow her to sort them too!
I should say that being parents to Beth has been easy! It’s been a joy!
Well …. most of the time it has … in addition, as any parent will truthfully say, there have been challenges on the way. Through those challenges, though, I think our love for each other has grown as we have learnt about life together. Hopefully we have taught Beth things for life … I know certainly she has taught us invaluable stuff.
It has been amazing to see this little girl grow into the person she is today. She has grown from a shy timid unsure little girl into this great confident young lady who, we believe, can achieve anything she wishes. She sings beautifully, can design anything on the computer you ask of her, is a gifted children’s worker and … has this uncontrollable gift of talking or laughing … a lot!
I really have been in awe of the things she has achieved and the targets she has set herself.
So today this beautiful young woman is 18.
I am an incredibly proud dad.
Sarah is an incredibly proud mum.
I know many family and friends are incredibly proud family and friends.
So … the day is here!
Beth …. you are amazing … and we love you!
I believe she is being incredibly courageous, at some significant personal cost, in her great attempt to get debate and conversation going.
Sadly, the comments on all of her last three posts make horrible reading. Some people who disagree with her inclusive outlook have been unbelievingly nasty in their comments. There is definitely an acute lack of love or Christian human-ness in the content of their messages which is, quite frankly, both embarrassing and sickening to read as a Christian.
It’s really important that as church, let alone the evangelical church, really gets to grips with and discusses this. We need a robust theology and not just allow ourselves to fall unquestionably into ‘tradition’ while hitting blocks off of each other because we do not like the idea of other people believing different things under the banner of ‘Christian’. This is not about the erosion of moral fibre …. it’s about a real understanding and theology of a real issue.
Please go read what Vicky has to say …. and maybe consider some encouraging comments …. no matter what your viewpoint is. I’ll show my age in this closing comment …. but it’s good to talk!
I called in to the Matisse exhibition today at the Tate modern. For my birthday I was given a Tate Membership and I have been waiting for a good time to start it. Today was that day.
The exhibition is amazing. I will return, hopefully more than once, before it closes in September.
In a couple of rooms were video displays in which you could watch Matisse at work. I was struck by the vulnerability and trust that he showed. In his final years before his death, although he was able to cut the shapes himself he relied on his assistants for positioning those shapes. We see his assistants watching him intently as he directs them where to place each shape, how to rotate them, where the overlap should be … and so on. Every single piece of the ‘canvas’ ends up exactly where the artist wants it to be. Exactly. There is seemingly no room for error! To get to this, though, Matisse makes himself vulnerable and puts his reputation in the hands of these people.
It would be easy to argue that this is not vulnerability. At the end of the day, it could be said, the people put the shapes up and Matisse would eventually have said ‘ok … that’s fine’ … pretty much like the rest of us might do out of either exasperation or not wishing to offend. In one scene in a video, however, you sense frustration on both sides … frustration from the artist as the person is not hearing or reading where and how a particular shape could be placed …. and frustration on the assistant as seemingly the artists is being bloody minded and surely this is good enough.
Matisse exhibits vulnerability to the extent of being left alone with no help. I wonder if the were times when the assistants just wanted to scream, ‘I’ve had enough … I’m out if here!’ Maybe not … but I sensed there could have been.
I was particularly humbled as I watched Matisse at work and looked at his art as I moved from room to room. The rooms are set out in a rough chronological order. As Matisse gets older, more infirm, and seemingly less in control of his fine motor skills his works of art become more intricate, complex, ambitious and beautifully crafted.
I loved a lot of this work, but two rooms in particular struck me and caused me to pause … well it was more of a wait really, quite a long wait and I simply sat and looked.
The first room I gazed in was Ocenaia. Matisse built this stunning creation bit by bit, with no real idea of hat was going to happen. he cut and pinned pieces to his wall …. ‘Matisse had cut out a swallow from a sheet of writing paper and, as it distressed him to tear up this beautiful shape and throw it away, he said, he put it up on his wall, also using it to cover up a stain, the sight of which disturbed him. Over the following weeks other shapes were cut out and put up on the same wall.’ (Tate exhibition handbook)
The shapes are overwhelming, and simply invite you to rest a while … and I did.
I also got grabbed by The Parakeet and the Mermaid. A bizarre title of two things that should not go together as they normally exist in two different worlds. On this occasion though, Matisse brings them together because he can.
Matisse referred to this as ‘his garden’ and as he was too ill to get outside created something that brought the outside to him. I think that is sad, but wonderful in equal measure.
I sat in front of this for quite a long time imagining how this was a strong connection with the outside world for the artist.
I came away from the exhibition really quite stunned at how a frail old man, clearly struggling with life, and very weak could find strength to create such massive undertakings of work.
As Matisse becomes less in control his fine motor skills his work becomes more intricate.
As he becomes weaker, his art takes on a new hidden strength.
At a time when others his age maybe rest on their reputation, Matisse continues to push the boundaries and take on new challenges at a pretty major potential reputational cost.
I think that is an amazing level of vulnerability.
I came away wondering if my recent thoughts pondering the necessity for vulnerability and weakness to add value and integrity to mission are mirrored equally well in the art world … or maybe that is the other way round? maybe it’s more than that … maybe it’s a very human thing? Maybe this inbuilt requirement we have to feel less in order to do more is not just a bible/mission/christian thing …. maybe it’s more a human thing … a reality of humanity… to be continued … maybe
I’ve had a pretty amazing weekend at the ROMBS (Reaching Out in Mind Body Spirit) conference, put together by Steve Hollinghurst and held at Wilson Carlisle Centre in Sheffield. Essentially this was a conference for Christian working in the world of MBS and new spiritualities.
As I’ve said above …. the conference was amazing. This is a collection of people that are all working from the same premise and simply get each other. This was a collection of people who work ‘on the edge’ and seek to help people connect with the God who created them. Clearly, this is a group of people who I feel I fit with and who are pretty inspirational in the way and the things they use as they try to connect with a variety of spiritual seekers.
One of the best things about this conference, as is the case with all good conferences, was the time devoted to conversations over coffee or in the bar during the evening. I always learn from up front presenters …. but I feel I am inspired more in those coffee/beer/whisky laced conversations as we pull apart thoughts and questions.
On the first evening we looked at statistics and contextualisation. This was a lot better than it sounds, although I struggle with stats at the best if times. It is great, though, to start by looking at the context and trends of where we are at …. in my experience too often the church seems to neglect this vital bit of questioning and just does what she thinks is ok and right.
On saturday I was blown away by Ole Skjerbæk Madsen, of In the Master’s Light as he spoke about Christfullness, which he defines as being ‘filled, saturated, surrounded by and drenched in Christ’. Ole talks about this here. I simply loved that image because that captures, I think, what many people are looking for. Maybe people are not specifically looking for Christ … but they are looking for something that totally captures, surrounds, saturates and drenches them. I think this is a different expression of John Drane’s thoughts last week when he was challenging us to think about ‘how do we make people feel so much that they can’t help thinking’. Being drenched in Christ certainly means we are able to feel …. and want to ask!
Other highlights of the weekend seem to revolve around meeting up with old friends or linking with new ones. Highlights included catching up with Andrea over Ruach, hearing more of Diana’s story in Glastonbury and Ruth’s story in Liverpool … matt’ story with Forest Church … and Martin’s story with Viking re-enactment. It was a packed weekend so I may have some of those names wrong … apologies if that is so!
The challenging / comfort zone issue for me was attending a session on how to use Tarot cards in a Christian setting. I got a great insight into how the cards developed and may be used in helpful ways. This was fascinating …. but those readers of mine who are having extreme worries about my spirituality … please remember …. this was a conference held at Church Army headquarters and headed up by a great Church Army guy. They are pretty ‘solid’ …. so if you don’t trust me you clearly know it is ok to trust them!
If I went with anything, it was a question that goes something like … ‘at the boot fair we have connected with all these people … is it right we just stop and wait until next year’s boot fair dates are out …. or is there something we can offer that may open up different spiritual paths’ That was my question and I am coming way with some areas of thought.
One particular suggestion worth exploring is the nature of follow up in ‘days’ or ‘events’ rather than the traditional course type . It’s easy to say that we need to provide something for every week … when the reality is that people may still only wish to dip in and out.
So …. the weekend was great, I felt I gained a lot from just being part of many conversations with great people. We ended our time together with a Forest Church communion lead by Steve and Diana. Al I can say is this was an incredibly real and moving experience and something I really genuinely resonated with.
To Steve as organiser and others as participants …. thank you.
While continuing my reading and research around vulnerability I came across this poem by Hannah Bauer. It’s pretty much gritty and real and sums up sum of what I have experienced and some of what I would have like to say … I particularly love the way Hannah has captured the two extremes of beauty and terror which seem to be at the root of vulnerability.
I hate being vulnerable.
It’s terrifying.
Letting go of those emotions
that you work so hard to hide.
Every day, at some point,
I have to force down negative
emotions at the thought that someone
might see and know that I am not
the strong person I show myself
to be. That I am weak and that
I am struggling.
I hate being vulnerable.
It entails opening up to someone
and telling them all those dirty
little secrets that you desperately
seek to hide.
Being raw with someone.
But at the same time,
it sounds beautiful.
To be able to find someone
who you can be vulnerable with.
That trust.
That raw, unadulterated trust.
How can you know
when you have found the right person?
Can you know?
It’s terrifyingly beautiful.
I crave it.
I fear it.
Whatever I share could
be used against me.
They could laugh in my face and
mock my pain.
They could kick my dreams
in the dust or
never
speak
to
me
again.
I could be rejected.
But, I could be accepted.
I could be loved.
Respected.
Understood. It’s terrifying.
It’s beautiful.
Graham wrote an interesting post today that has caused me to think more about the whole vulnerability thing. In the post (go read first) called ‘welcome’ Graham outlines a typical scene that is no doubt common in many churches which causes him to ask ‘why’?
‘Why didn’t any of the hosts get up and make themselves vulnerable for the guests?’
“why didn’t I make myself vulnerable so that the guests were made to feel in the place of honour?’
I’m intrigued by the link that Graham is making between hospitality and the vulnerability of the host. Many new monastic communities, for example, speak of a radical hospitality. In the gathering we have used that very phrase … to show a radical hospitality towards those we come across. Its seems to me that after reading Graham’s words this type of hospitality may only be offered when we are willing to allow ourselves that vulnerability that allows the guest to be themselves and be accepted as themselves.
It’s easy to show hospitality to friends and people we know … basically those that we believe may well reciprocate the hospitality in some way. I would question whether that is really hospitality. But hospitality to the stranger who desperately needs help and who may stay a while and who we may never see again after they leave … that is a real genuine radical type of hospitality.
A hospitality where the host is willing to give up everything, to be totally vulnerable, so that the guest may feel welcome, accepted and feel ‘at home’ is a hospitality that calls to me in some whispering challenge. As I look over that last sentence I think of Eucharist … the host in complete vulnerability, arms wide in both submission and welcome … allowing all who need to, to be able to come, feed, be themselves, be at home and move on when ready.
Maybe there is something there of what Nouwen meant when he wrote:
“Hospitality means primarily the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines.”
– Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life
I’m going to think more on this hospitality and vulnerability thing … there is more to think about … thanks Graham … and please, anyone, feel free to add your thoughts …
Our current boot fair season came to a close yesterday …. and that gives me some sadness. I have loved getting up at 5am on a Sunday morning (really… I have!) and working with an amazing team who also got up at 5am for the chance to engage with people at the boot fair in some spiritual way.
I really have been pretty overwhelmed at how the Ruach Cards have caught the imagination of many passers by and how God has connected in real ways with people through these readings. It seems that this just works …. and it’s just a few pictures and some scripture connecting powerfully with people in the middle of a field with some shattered people. I am amazed!
The conversations we have had over the last two months have been amazing. I still hold the man in my prayers who was a recovering Heroin addict … he really connected with me and I have been caused to pray for him each day … and wonder whether one day I may find out how he is doing.
Other team members have connected with other people whether it be through Ruach, prayer beads, prayer braids or simply chatting. I believe all of us have had significant conversations with people. I’ve gone back through the notes of each time and it seems we have had contact with around 130 people which I think is pretty exciting. 130 people that God brought cross our path.
I believe that is 130 people that God has blessed … not instructed, or taught, or even convicted …. but simply blessed them for who they are while wanting them to know they are accepted, approved of, loved and ….. most of all I think … understood and not alone.
I seemed to chat with many who felt alone or bewildered by their experience … and it seemed that God used our willingness and a few tools to reassure just loads of people. I’m still surprised and amazed that this has worked so well. Just ordinary people, in a field, willing to spend time with other ordinary people. I have been reminded that, given the right inviting opportunity that some of these people at the boot fair are spiritually searching for something that works.
In my last post I spoke of John Drane’s challenge … ‘how do we make people feel so much that they can’t help asking’ … well … being in a field and using cards or prayer seems to be one way of achieving that.
People felt a presence
people asked
and we prayed with them
Our boot fair takes a break until September … so this is a good place to thank the team … thanks loads for your commitment and willingness …you really were an amazing joy to work with …. you are all cool!
John Drane’s second session was just as good as the first.
Drane started the session by continuing to look at what people living in our conceptual age need. I loved his language when he challenged us to ‘create an artistic and emotional beauty to craft a satisfying narrative’.
He expounded on this by pulling out more stuff from Dan Pink who provides 6 keys: DESIGN – understanding how to create beauty using ordinary objects
STORY – telling story to promote compelling narrative
SYMPHONY – integrating lots of info into a new arresting way forward
EMPATHY – so we can build relationships
PLAY – living with joy
MEANING – living with a purpose
John Drane considered those 6 keys and simply stated ‘this is Jesus’, meaning this is how Jesus acted when he was on earth. He backed these up with bible references from the gospels. Jesus, says Drane, gave people experiences that caused them to ask questions.
He then asked us a question … ‘how dow we make people feel so much that they can’t help thinking’. One way he suggested is that we need to get to grips with people’s value, and understand more of how we can nurture humanity. He then suggested that maybe we, as Christians and/or church, should be less worried about trying to be saints and concentrate more on being human …. think about that one.
I resonated with that comment or challenge immediately. I blogged a while ago (can’t remember where or when and simply couldn’t spend the time looking back though old posts!) about possible reasons that Jesus came to earth. Christian orthodoxy talks of Jesus being 100% human and 100% God. I think church does the 100% God well, but never really talks about the 100% human truth. I translate that into believing that Jesus came in his total humanity to show us how to be human. In other words … if we want to know how to treat people and remain humans with dignity … then Jesus shows us the way!
That would be the Jesus who never excludes, the Jesus who always accepts, always waits, and always hopes. The Jesus that stands with open arms and says come … with you I am well pleased. There is lots more to write about …. but I am particularly taken at the moment by Jesus teaching us how to be human …. part of that is finding joy in ourselves so that we can illicit it in others …. that … I guess … is the Jesus way.
On Thursday I attended the Bishops Study Day for clergy and licensed ‘leaders’ in the Diocese of Rochester. I had been quite looking forward to the day as the key speaker was John Drane. he was talking on ‘Sharing the Gospel in a world of atheist churches and spiritual searchers’
The day was good. It made me think. It reminded me of stuff I had forgotten. It challenged me. John Drane did not disappoint. I love his clear and direct style mixed with a calm passion to do whatever it takes to make a difference.
There is a mass I could write as from his 3 sessions I have 3 incredibly detailed mind maps on the iPad. He started the day by setting a context that showed that, although people had given up on established religion, as such, they were still very spiritual. 39% of people in the UK pray regularly, 17% every day. Those are big figures!
One stat that hit me was that only 17% of people in the UK are certain, beyond doubt, that there is a God. The corresponding figure in the US is 60%! That disparity alone explains why I am always suspicious and warey of people who try to directly bring stuff that works in America here …. we are a very different nation! But I digress!
From the stats and other stuff, Drane asked what are people searching for …
– something that helps with everyday challenges
– somewhere to be accepted
– how to live and make sense of life
– someone to journey with
From my discussions in High Streets and pubs, I really relate to those ‘needs of search’. In many ways I think that is not only what people I hang out with are searching for … but if I am honest … it’s what I have been and am searching for as well.
Drane ended the first session by quoting Daniel Pink who says to relate and share relevantly in our world today we need to be:
creators, empathisers, pattern recognisers, meaning makers,
artists, storytellers, caregivers, big picture thinkers and consolers.
I love that …. mainly because I see something of myself in those words, or are they labels?. They are character traits that are hard to assess or evaluate. Sadly, too often, I think the church values strategists and project leaders more than the creators, big picture thinkers and empathisers. But … I do believe it is through these skills that we are able to listen, to learn and then be able to create with others in a relevant and meaningful way.
warning … i think the next paragraph became a bit of a rant … so feel free to skip this …
I guess I try and use those parts of me when I am out in the community. I’m searching for patterns while trying to get alongside, listening to stories and looking for creative opportunities. Thats actually makes life sound a lot grander than it is. Only last week a church leader (not an Anglican this time) said it was not fair that I get to do all the ‘fun stuff’. I find myself becoming incredibly frustrated now by such comments!
My ‘secret’ …. which is what people ‘ask’ for … is that I meet with ordinary people in ordinary places … and I believe … seriously … that anyone can find an ordinary place and an ordinary group of people in their own ordinary context! So … please … stop pretending I do something special that you can’t do …. cos actually I think you are using me as an excuse to not act …. and that’s pretty crappy … so … why not just go out and have some ordinary ‘fun’ with ordinary people in your own ordinary context!! Sheeesh!
Rant over …. but with no guarantees not to be repeated!
There is lots more to share from session 2 …. maybe tomorrow!
I like to be challenged … no … really I do. I love a great discussion. One thing I particularly enjoy is pub theo (which happens tonight, 7.45pm at the Dog and Bone with great curry – shameless plug!!!) because people come to talk, are generally open to listening to each other which sometimes results in people changing an opinion.
As a parent it has been amazing to see this little girl grow up in to the amazing person that she is today. Although I like to think she is still my little girl … it is clear that she is a beautiful young woman, with her own mind and her own dreams, which I believe she will achieve. Her creativity showed at an early age in this ‘hair’ picture one afternoon when left to her own devices … styling not just herself, but persuading both her brothers to allow her to sort them too!
The Shiny Headed Prophet 