never accept …

The blog has been quiet because I have been writing other things as the deadline for my long thought about, much spoken about but little written about portfolio was due in today. I gave it in yesterday with a big sigh of relief..

Partly I feel I have failed with this as my battles with those in authority to submit something creative (portfolio??!!) and at the end of the day the deadline was there and something needed to be submitted as, at the end of the day, I need to ‘pass’ the year and get started on coming up with a title for my masters dissertation.

I’m not entirely happy with what I have submitted as essentially it is an 8000 word essay whereas when we originally spoke of portfolio I was thinking of something a little more creative that reflected in quite a raw way the journey I have been on. I do like my title page though so there is a mark of my shallowness for you!

The task is now done though and I can breathe a sigh of relief … and feel a bit guilty of feeling pleasure that someone has to read it and plough through 8 appendices of ‘raw’ accounts of my last 2 years.

The great thing about drawing stuff together has been the remembering stuff from the earlier days that I have forgotten. I am quite often told that I am never satisfied and part of what makes me ‘tick’, I guess, is that I am always looking for and asking ‘what next?’, or wondering how something can be developed, or question where thinks are linking, or not linking. As I thought more on that I found this quote from Vincent Donovan, which I have recorded in a few places and blogged previously about here, which I guess both resonates and challenges me on a regular basis:

‘Never accept and be content with analysed assumptions, assumptions about the work, about the people, about the church or Christianity. Never be afraid to ask questions about the work we have inherited or the work we are doing. There is no question that should not be asked or is outlawed. The day we are completely satisfied with what we have been doing; the day we have found the perfect, unchangeable system of work, the perfect answer, never in need of being corrected again, on that day we will know that we are wrong, that we have made the greatest mistake of all.’ (Donovan p146)
So … here’s to more of not accepting, not being content …. isn’t that basically saying I am to continue being a pain in the a…!

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