The blog has been very quiet this week … and that probably reflects that there is not a lot of questioning going on in my mind. I am continuing to be a presence in the places I hang out in and I am having great conversation with people. I think there is still some (quite justifiable) scepticism amongst many … as we talk I get a distinct sense from some that they expect me to get the Bible out and start to bash them over the hed with it. I’m not … and I guess the longer I am around and this does not happen then the more relaxed people will become.
The blog has not been quiet due to inaction. I guess it has really been quiet as I have been too tired to think and ask the all important reflective questions that seem to fuel this blog. I am tired now but this week I have lost the discipline of reflection and I fear that if I go into a into a second week without proper reflection then could go some way to dismantling an exercise which I believe is vital to my ministry.
One observation I make as i look back over the last few weeks is that I am becoming very busy … and yet I am not. I am busy in terms of places to be present in. I now have 3 places where I attempt to invest quality time of just being around with no agenda other than I like to be there and hope and pray that God will lead me to those God wishes to lead me too. There is a 4th place on the horizon and I really cannot visit all to the same intensity that I have been. So … choices will need to made and it seems that my timetable and way of working will have to change as well.
One important reflection that I need to write here us that I have been more conscious over the last 6 weeks than ever before of the loneliness of pioneer ministry, and of my loneliness in what I do in particular. This is going to sound rather sad …. but I need a friend! I need a partner in crime or a Barnabus type figure who shares my passion for this kind of stuff … for hanging out with people and creating a new style of church with people. I am not sure what I mean by that … but I think it means someone who will seriously invest time and effort in the gathering with me, and maybe even spend some time with me in Deaf Cat, Rochester Coffee Co and Wetherspoons. I am not sure who this person could be, or even if I would recognise the person when I came across them … but I do believe that there is such a person and I hope that either our paths will cross sooner or later or that I re-meet someone I already know. I am not sure if that will make sense to anyone outside of my head …. but then if not tht can be a comment to make me think when I re-red this later.
This was going to be a one-liner blog post just to say that I am still here really (hanging on like in the pic!); but taking the time out to think and reflect has brought up some stuff that I did not realise was sitting there and waiting to crawl out! I think that alone shows the value of reflection and I’m glad I have forced myself here this evening.