It’s been a fairly quiet and reflective start to the week.
I met up with Sister Martha who is my new spiritual director. WE chatted a lot and she challenged me by asking me what is God saying to me, and how is God interacting with me through all that is happening. That was a really tough but cool question – I can answer how I see God moving in the places that I hang out, I can also answer how I think God is working in the lives of others; but when asked to personalise it for myself I was stumped for a while.
I fudged an answer that sounded something like, well I think God is challenging me about where I see him and teaching me personally that I should be expecting to see him in the unexpected places. I knew I was waffling and so did Martha, which I guess is the mark of a good spiritual director.
We explored this a little more and she has set me a task over the next 5 weeks or so to develop what she called a personal page where I write ‘stuff’ that comes to be about my relationship with God, or what I am thinking about God – a word, phrase or, I guess, picture even that says something about how I am engaging with God in my life as a person.
As Martha was outlining this quite a lot withing me was shouting ‘no! I don’t really want to think about this which I shared and brought a smile to both of us. I think God is moving me into another place which will be uncomfortable for me as I try to come to grips more with what is going on personally, as well as what is happening in the community and what is happening in the pub.
This all seems to tie in incredibly well with what I have been taking in from the rule of St. Benedict which understands the need to be able to understand and accept yourself before you can start to understand and accept others.
Meeting Martha today was a good bit of timing as tomorrow I join with other curates from our diocese along with those from Canterbury Diocese for 3 days at Aylesford Priory. There will be space here to mull over what Martha has said and I am looking forward to that opportunity. In the meantime – the blog will go quiet!