They said …

You can’t say you’re empty ….

But …

I’ve Felt it.
I’ve sensed it.
I’ve tried to get away from it.
I’ve felt guilty about it.

Sometimes…
I sense …
nothing.

Been there?

Can you …
empathise?
relate?
see where I’m coming from?
stand in my shoes?

silence out there
silence in here
silence at every corner
a vacuumous space
threatening to indwell me
attempting to consume me
beginning to squeeze me
into a mould of …

emptiness

is it possible
to have a relationship
with God
and feel empty?
alone?
deserted?

My God, My God
Why have you forsaken me?
said Jesus

so it must be!

On Friday morning I took time out to be quiet.

Sounds crushing in
wanting to pull me away
musn’t listen
constraint
petrified of being sucked from this moment
the pull vacuumous
drawn into the wall
impossible to scale
and then realisation
I’m the obstruction.
I ackowledge the sky creeping wall
brick by brick
which tumbles as
sounds identified
and allowed to empty

stillness discovered
calm
quiet
peace
silence exposed

eerie translucence
God in there!
observing
before withdrawing

I ask
why leave?
I need your help!
I need you to walk beside me
I need you to carry me when I fall

That smile
the warmth in the eyes
sincerity
loving pity

the scandalous response:

Grow up!
I believe in you
You can pick yourself up
and try again.

that way
you unearth the beauty
and the ferment of ability
I have sited within you