Category Archives: ministry

Paused

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I read an article in Big Issue yesterday. There was an interesting article about Christians doing work with people on streets. The writer, who lives on the street, was complaining about Christians who are out to convert people and makes the point that, in his observations, he has noticed the Christians he sees ‘targeting the vulnerable’ on the streets. He claims that these Christians deliberately target vulnerable people for ‘conversion’ rather than just being helpful.

It’s a challenging article and ends by saying ‘If you see me, be a good Samaritan and walk by on the other side as I am just not interested.’

I don’t like the language of ‘targeting’ the vulnerable but we can all see what the writer is meaning. Mny of us can agree in part as we have observed the practices of some. This is a difficult area, as I firmly believe Jesus came to reveal his Kingdom to all, but I would argue he took a particular interest in the ‘vulnerable’ of his time … prostitutes, lepors, the hungry, the outcast and so on.

But … should we take this article, and it will not be a solitary view, to heart. Should we analyse how we reach people on the streets in ‘mission’? (I think we should!) If nothing else, this article should cause us to check out our motives. What is at the heart of what we do? Yes, I want people to know that God loves them, but should we take into account the vulnerability of so many?

How do we achieve that fine line of ‘being Jesus’ as all Christians are called to be and not taking advantage of peoples vulnerabilities? I would hate churches to stop working with the vulnerable out of a fear of being misunderstood; but this writers views have caused me to pause!

my first Sunday

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My first Sunday at the cathedral was amazing today. I do not have a lot of knowledge (even that is an over-statement) of how cathedral worship happens and so, today, I started on a very steep learning curve, but the people here are incredibly friendly, helpful and patient.

Today I was involved in the Eucharist service this morning and choral evensong this afternoon.

Some things surprised me. I was powerfully moved by some of the music today and felt God was revealing himself to me in new ways that I had not noticed before. Sitting and being so close and surrounded by the organ music that I could feel the vibrations through the building gave me a new perspective on being surrounded and immersed within the presence of God.

I have met loads of people today at the services and at a cathedral community tea which was held in the Deanery after Evensong. The joining of a new community has not been as difficult as I feared it might be. I have been warmly welcomed and am looking forward to learning more and getting to know more people. I hope I can remember some names.

After a full 2 days I find myself pretty drained and tired, both physically and emotionally. It’s been a great time and I’m looking forward to discovering what lies ahead.

ordination

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The last 36 hours has zipped by in a bit of a whirlwind and I have hardly been able to catch my breath.

The retreat ended and we made our way to Bishopscourt for lunch before then moving to the cathedral. By this time the nerves were at a height as we gathered and robed in the crypt. We then prayed and processed outside and entered the cathedral through the west door.

It was an amazing sight standing at the top of the stairs and seeing the encouraging faces of my family and friends. As I looked around the cathedral I was truly amazed by how many people had given up their Saturday to support me. It was incredibly moving and quite difficult to hold back the tears.

The ordinations service was around 2 hours long although raced by from where we were standing/sitting/kneeling. For each of us it was a very special moment when Bishop Michael laid his hands on our heads and ordained us. Our retreat conductor suggested at this time we thought of Jesus ordaining us as well, which made the event very powerful.

We had a party after at Terry and Jo’s and again I was struck by the number of people who turned out – I was truly humbled and felt very privileged. So many people said so many kind things and I have so many thank you letters to write!

I just need and want to say thank you here for all those wonderful people. You were and will continue to be an amazing encouragement. You are great friends and it was amazing that you shared this with me.

As I look back over the last day and a bit, I must admit I have asked a few times ‘what on earth have I done!’ I can’t pretend to understand fully what has happened, or what I have taken on, but I guess that will become more understandable as I start this new journey.

No doubt there will be some photos flying around soon – Dennis wins the prize for posting the first which you can spot via his facebook page! … errrr cheers mate!

exciting but sad

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The rest of my day in London had various highlights:

Meeting up with Richard for my last line management meeting. That was quite a sad experience but an advantage of leaving is that you get bought presents – and I am now a proud owner of Common Worship: Ties and Seasons, which I would not have bought but will be massively useful to me.

Following that I shot over to Flat White to meet up with father Jeremy – looking cool decked out in his priestly gear.

I then ended the day by meeting up with the YFC Leadership Team for a leaving meal near Cheapside. Saying good bye to each one of them at the end of the evening was an odd experience and not a particularly nice one. These people have been friends, encouragers and challengers throughout my time with YFC (some 14/15 years). It is sad knowing this kind of great relationship, in this format, is changing. During the train journey home it hit home that my time with YFC is at an end and while that is exciting it is also sad.

On rational days I can see God’s leading clearly in all of this. On sensitive days I have real concerns over whether, at 43, I have the energy to start something new and ‘from scratch’ all over again. I guess only time will tell!

Anyway – all at YFC … thanks for your massive contribution for forming who I am!

I’m not sure if that makes sense, but I know what I mean!

top o the mountain

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‘I want a mountain experience‘ is what I hear regularly, or very similar words to that effect. And why not – church as I know it, as I have grown up in it, does seem to elevate the feel good factor over and above everything else.

I can think of plenty of churches where if everything is not happy then there must be something wrong with your relationship with God. In such places it is easy to feel guilty for actually having a hassle and not wanting to take part or do anything. In such places there can be formed a desire that basically denies the realities of our humanity and so we search for a way out – the mountain top experience can be the spiritual excuse.

A journey, a relationship, if it is to be authentic, necessarily has its ups and downs, its roughs and its smooths, it’s times of joy and it’s times of pain. If it did not it would not be far removed from reality. The reality is that in real life crap happens. If we genuinely decide to deal with that it means sometimes we feel crappy. Of course we can avid it and pretend everything is ok … and not feel crappy until much later!

As I look to Jesus the man I do not see a Jesus who avoids the crap.
I see a Jesus that engages with pain in humility, in compassion and with tears.
As I look to Jesus on the cross I do not see a Jesus who smiles while in agony and pretends everything is ok.
I see a Jesus who questions, who cries out to God in mental and physical agony asking why he has been forgotten.
That must have been pretty crappy!

Mountain top experiences are cool (its high up there!), they zap energy(there’s very little oxygen up there), they leave you hungry (there’s no vegetation/food up there) and they restrict you if you stay too long (nothing grows up there). They are great for a while, but we quickly need to come down if we want to get warm, eat and be able to breathe comfortably.

So … crave the experience on top of the mountain – but don’t rely on it, don’t stay there too long and sufficate …. we ain’t called to mountain tops, we are called to engage with humanity on the ground.

arriving thoughts

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A feeling of arrival with all this training stuff is near!

That sounds bad, but I mean arrival in the sense of a journey. I feel pretty much like I am on a railway track and the train is pulling into a station. Here we alight our joint carriage only to get back on different trains and carriages with different destinations pretty soon.

I am just about to leave for the last training weekend. It’s pretty much a weird feeling. Sometimes the days have dragged. Actually, the days have dragged full stop – it has been hard and rewarding work and yet … 3 years have flown by and I can’t quite believe this is the last weekend and the last time some of us may even see each other.

I want to use this space to publicly thank new friends and colleagues from this course. We have learned from each other. We have argued with each other. We have wondered about each other and yet we have developed a love, care and respect for each other.

That love and respect we have for each other crosses and embraces the normal church boundaries that we see splitting along the Anglican communion at the moment. According to some we should not get on. We do because we have got to know each other.

I thank you all for the things you have taught me, for the things you have allowed us to teach each other and for the way we have grown together. You are, no we are, a pretty good bunch of people!

As I write the above I have been thinking of the Lambeth conference which will be taking our place at Kent university pretty soon. Some bishops are refusing to attend because they disagree with each other. I wonder if they are doing so because dialogue opens them up to seeing they may not be as accurate as they think they are and it opens them to the possibility of having to change their mind on something. Rather than wanting truth, I wonder whether these people are actually more worried about not being right. If so, that is a sad condition to be in.

If there is one thing I can take away from this course, it will be that none of us have the complete truth, the correct interpretation or the right ‘brand’ of christianity. Whether we are evangelicals, liberals, catholics or various mixes of all and none, the truth is we all have an incomplete image of a God who we can never even hope to grasp.

As I move out from Canterbury after this weekend, I pray that we will be able to remember that as we continue our journey.

Please pray for us this weekend as we focus in on the reality of our lives and our callings.

turning the page

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I’m looking forward to this week ahead, but I think it is going to be a strange and possibly emotional week.

Tomorrow I am off to Soul Survivor Church at Watford for the YFC regional tour. I’ll say goodbye to a few people who I may well not bump into again. It will be strange thinking this is my last big YFC event.

After watford I’ll be rushing into London to meet up with fellow students before we attend our last lecture. This weekend coming will be our last training weekend at Kent University. Again it will be an interesting time of goodbyes.

As we approach a new chapter there will obviously be sadness as we turn pages … but there is also excitement as we wonder what is over the page.

Focus … where?

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Friday was one of those hectic but wonderful days that I love. It was a day when I was at risk of becoming overawed by the many activities happening or exhausted by the amount of time taken.

The day started with my last tutorial with my personal tutor where we put together my final report to the bishop. That went well.

After a brief stop at home to make a couple of phone calls I met up with a good friend, Terry, and we went to pay a brief 30 minute visit to the head teacher of the school that I am a governor at. We spoke about plans and the role of church youth worker / school chaplain which will work in this school.

Following that Terry and I went to our favourite curry house for lunch. We had a great time catching up with each other. I value such times of honesty where no pretending has to go on. This was a special time.

Following this I popped in the car and drove to Portsmouth to meet Dave, Joe and Roy at 5.00pm to have a meal and chat before the relaunch of Solent YFC and the commissioning of Dave as director. It was a real pleasure to lead the local church of Portsmouth in some commissioning words and Roy preached well and passionately as he always does.

I got home at midnight and needed nearly 2 hours to ‘come down’ from the buzz of the day before I could go to bed.

Today I have been challenged to keep hold of the love of Jesus in my ministry and not lose sight of that. The losing of that focus often results in bitterness or a persecution complex where it is easy to blame everyone else when things do not go to plan. I have thought a lot about this on my car journey back from Portsmouth.

I guess we all know people like that – those who complain in ministry and never seem to be happy. Being with such people can be a drain. I remember when in Bristol as a church youth worker a group of us used to meet regularly in the town for coffee. I remember a certain time when a couple of people were moaning about the presures of their ministry and as we neared the end of our time an old man on a nearby table wandered over and asked a simple question that stumped us all ‘tell me … do you enjoy your calling?’

It’s easy to fall into that. As I say above we all know people like it (maybe we can name a few, but as I do I wonder how many people have me on their list?). I don’t think it is because they have lost faith, nor do I think they have even lost their original passion for their calling.

They have simply lost the sense of privilege that it is to work for God.

regrets ….

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I got back from the south west last night after 3 days, 700 miles, quite a few meetings and good training sessions with YFC trustees.

I have been challenged by the levels of mission I have seen. I have enjoyed meeting with people who I am going to miss when I leave YFC. I have had the privilege of hearing dreams, sharing tears, enjoying meals, laughing with friends and visiting some pretty nice parts of the world. My one regret on such a trip, as ever, is that I can never spend enough time in one place to really enjoy it. One unusual exception was having a spare 90 minutes yesterday in Teignmouth which enabled me to eat a sandwich, drink good coffee and gaze out to sea. As I look across the vast expanse of the sea I always seem to connect meaningfully with God.

Traveling between centres can often be pretty full on but I enjoy the thinking on my feet side of the job that is often needed on trips like this. My other regreat is that all the driving takes it toll on my aging back. The result of this is that I can’t be involved in the MBS fair tomorrow as I have for the last couple of years. I can’t really move or stand long enough to be of any use to Dekhomai.

I shall miss the authentic interaction with people, the privilege of praying for people, the sights of healing, the searching conversations, the mystery and challenge, and the wonder of realising that God is not only present but incredibly active in such a place.

I’m really gutted by this as a particular highlight of my year – but I guess while I am sat or lying at home I can pray for the team! Please pray for the Dekhomai team for the rest of this weekend.

it hurts

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A day in the south west and I’m challenged again about the sacrifice that people make for mission and ministry. I’m struck by the sheer effort people are putting in, often in dire circumstances with little encouragement or support from ‘local church’.

Today, in the privacy of my car, I have wept for people and it’s quite a sobering experience. I’ve been reminded again of the raw edge of ministry.

Ministry hurts, ministry costs, ministry makes demands in ways nothing else does – it is not good for your health and anyone that thinks ministry gives a status needs to take a fresh look at how Jesus was continually treated alongside his ultimate fate.

Another day which has highlighted amazingly, following my last blog, that ministry costs big time.