Category Archives: life

disrupted plans

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I had a good plan for today.
Leave at 730ish and meet Dave in Aylesbury before then meeting Andrew in Wycombe.
By 9.30 I still had not reached the Dartford Crossing due to the storms causing problems and accidents and so I turned back.
I eventually got home at 10.30 and so my travel time of 3 hours racked up a massive mileage of 40 miles!
It always amazes me (I don’t know why it always amazes me, you could ask why don’t I learn?!) that no matter how advanced we think we are s humans that nature can still gain the upper hand.

We like to think we can control our environment, that we are more ‘in control’ than we are but the events of the last few hours show us that we are still very subject to the laws of nature. That would be Creator God’s laws of nature.

It’s not just humanity that is fragile, it is human lifestyle and technology as well. We think we are so great, and yet a strong wind and a lot of rain can still grind us to a halt in exactly the same way it did hundreds of years ago.

SUMO: Shut Up Move On

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Three times a year the whole national YFC team get together for full team meeting (FTM) at head office. For me this is a 5am start but it is usually worth it and today was no exception.

This morning we had great motivational speaker Paul McGee do some stuff with us based on his new book, SUMO.

Paul was engaging, lively, funny and quite deep in some of the stuff he shared. I’m going to find his book to have a read but he shared some stuff today which made me think on a personal level about how I react in certain situations.

Paul reminded us that outcomes are not just results of events, but results of how we react to events. I think this is correct as I can think back to when I have said ‘I had no choice but to …’ after an event has stressed me. I’ve also heard this excuse from others a lot of the time. But Paul reminded us that we are not like Pavlov’s dogs.

As humans, we are created in the image of God and as such we are distinct within creation. One of the distinctives is that we have free-will. Freewill means we always have a choice in how we react to a situation which means we can decide what we do when something else happens to us. AS we have a choice in how we react, it follows that we have more of an influence on the outcomes of the situations we find ourselves in.

Today was great – why not go check out the SUMO website.

Impressing who …?

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I had a fairly long day working in London yesterday and while reflecting on my various meetings I became aware that the one thing that connected yesterday together was dreams, some great, some ok, and some plainly ridiculous!

The start of the day was at the chief execs meeting of NCVYS where the first part of the morning was given to a Tory MP and his team to share with us their ’emerging youth policy’. It was interesting to hear but quite saddening as they outlined a dream of all 16 year olds having a 5 week residential to look at citizenship and stuff (I must admit my mind drifted a bit!). I was amazed at the arrogance to think that all 16 year olds should go on what I think it basically a boot camp! After Tom’s GCSE’s we will want to go on holiday, not say goodbye to him for 5 weeks, and I’m sure (and hope) many other parents would feel the same.

After a few challenges on how this would happen the MP said they would make it happen and actually said ‘this is going to happen’ – thankfully he has to get through an electorate first and the odds of that happening are at very best 50:50!

My meetings in the afternoon were with YFC people to hear about their dreams. I met with Dione to hear about the progress she is making in Wandsworth. The experience was so different to the morning in hearing a dream that was well thought out and had the interests of young people at its core and was manageable if a little challenging. I then met with others working in London and heard of their aspirations and dreams for their areas. Again it was like being in another world – meeting with people with nothing to prove and only God to impress.

At the end of my refection (call it Examen if you like) I reflected on how releasing it is to have only one person to impress – that one being God. I do not need to think up ambitious unattainable sound-bite dreams to impress a group of people – I simply need to be wanting to impress my creator.

Funny what you remember

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I have had a number of facebook messages, texts and emails today from ‘friends’ asking me if I feel old! The occasion being that tom was 14 today.

At stages throughout the day I have reflected on what has happened over the last 14 years. The mistakes I have made, and continue to make, as a father were uppermost in my mind. The joy I experience as a father were close behind, as was the real heart-felt wish to be able to turn back time or at least slow it down a bit as the last 14 years have zipped away! I guess the right thing to do i look back and use what you see to inform how you carry on moving with time.

I end the day reflected on the 14 years of joy I have received from being father to Tom. (Beth and Jo have given me joy too but essentially this is Tom’s day).

My mind easily goes back to early Sunday evening 14 years ago when I held the little bundle that was to be Tom in one arm. It hardly seems possible. I remember all the experiences from that one day 14 years ago as clear as day, and yet I can forget stuff from yesterday.

I remember the walking around the ward in the Bristol Royal Infirmary with Sarah.
I remember the pain and joy of labour (which I found quite easy to cope with!).
I remember the waiting, so much waiting.
I remember the phonecalls from one particular young person in our youth group eager for news.
I remember the joy of seeing Tom for the first time and sharing our ‘new creation’ with Sarah.
I remember the fear when Sarah was taken off for a bath and I was left alone, in this very warm deliver suite, with my new born son.
I remember the words I said to Tom as he gazed into nowhere as he adjusted to life outside the womb.
I remember thanking God for this miracle of life.
I remember the joy in the voices of grandparents as I shared over the phone.
I remember it all.

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For the last few months I have been using the lectionary and Common Worship (which, incidentally the CofE put here for us to use) as the backbone to my daily prayer life. It’s thrown up a few surprises, one in particular being the knowledge that millions of people are considering the same parts of the bible that I am looking at on that day and remembering certain saints.

Today in Common Worship we remember Basil the Great. To be honest I do not normally look up the particular saint as time is scarce, but today I did and the story is a great one.

At a time of great persecution and when there was a need for someone to make a stand for theological truth Basil was the man. When confronted with persecution he replies:
‘Well, in truth, confiscation means nothing to a man who has nothing, unless you covet these wretched rags and a few books; that is all I possess. As to exile, that means nothing to me, for I am attached to no particular place. That wherein I live is not mine, and I shall feel at home in any place to which I am sent. Or rather, I regard the whole earth as belonging to God, and I consider myself as a stranger wherever I may be. As for torture, how will you apply it? I have not a body capable of bearing it, unless you are thinking of the first blow you give me, for that will be the only one in your power. As for death, this will be a benefit to me, for it will take me the sooner to the God for whom I live . . .’

This example of great faith has been a source for reflection throughout the day. As I have got pointlessly frustrated with technology, or concerned by phonecalls St. Basil’s example has brought things into true perspective.

08 … the year of …

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Happy New Year!
I’ve had a bit of a blog break over the festive season due to wanting to prioritise partying rather than sitting in front of a screen.
The break has been good, and I have also managed to get 2 essays done pretty quickly when we have not been walking, eating, drinking, unwrapping presents, drinking, eating, partying, watching pantomimes, playing games, drinking some more, eating a little, attending church, eating again, celebrating, drinking more, watching fireworks, laughing and laughing some more.

I have enjoyed the Christmas break. There have been many highlights:
the look of joy on peoples faces as they opened presents
food
the post Christmas walk
pantomime at the Barbican …. he’s behind you
new years eve Italian style
New Years day breakfast
People have been great, and some have been very creative in presents.

But this is now 2008!
Tomorrow I am back at work with millions of others.
I could look back on the year, but I want to look ahead.

2008 … the year of Hope.
I hope the church rise to the challenge to bring hope this year rather than complain.
For us 2008 will be a year of change in so many ways.
I have dreams for 2008.
Some big, some little.
Some totally in my control, others not.
All important.
2008 will also be a year of painful anniversaries for family and friends alike.
It’s not all going to be rosy!

I’m making no resolutions this year, just a commitment to myself to be realistic and keep my promises which probably means I will have to say ‘no’ every now and again!

Whatever happens, 2008 is going to be a year of opportunity.
We can look back and regret, or we can look forward and grasp the opportunities that arise.
Here’s to looking forward.

Leave our kids alone!

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Why is this stuff such big news?
What is it about some people of this country that likes to moan and victimize those that are looking likely to be succesful, or have any gifts? Why are we always looking for the stuff to criticise rather than the stuff to praise?
Many acknowledge that Amy Winehouse is one of the great up and coming musical talents in the UK, yet instead of encourage her and praise her musical successes many choose to focus on those areas in which she is struggling.
Yes she has some major difficulties which she fails with in the public eye. Yet she has the bravery and courage to sing about them rather than pretend they are not there.
Do we ever stop to consider how we would fare if we made our mistakes under the spotlight at her age? She is still a young person, she’s only 24!
It stinks and p***** me off somewhat!
I wish the media would leave her alone.
If you wish to do something constructive go buy her CD and listen to her music!

people!

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A massively long day but I still feel wide awake which is kinda weird!
I left the house at 5.15 this morning and arrived in Halesowen just before 8, which left time for breakfast and a bit of a reflection before going to head office.

It was a good feeling to be involved with the YFC team at head office. Working from home is ok, but I have always missed that team dynamic of all working together under the same roof. I remember after leaving my team of 12 in Gillingham that it was quite odd and incredibly quiet to be working alone at home – but it did also mean that lack of interruption meant I got masses of work done.

On reflection, however, I’d rather get less work done and have more people interruption. I’m a bit of a people person and of there is a choice of paperwork or build relationship with a person … well the person will usually win. I just like being with other people.

The Ice Pack Cometh

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I have been back to the oesteopath today and am hoping that things have now been clicked and manipulated enough to allow muscles and things to work properly.

After all the manipulation the oesteopath advised going straight home and putting an ice pack on the area that she had been working on to calm it down. I’m sitting here with an ice pack now, but the concept does seem strange. She spent 30 mins moving everything around and the my response to allow the manipulations to work properly is to soon afterwards cool things down to releive the pain.

I wonder if there is a metaphor here for change within the church. If it’s not working (and we know that in some areas it it not) we are good at trying to stoke things up a bit with some manipulation here, a little massage there, cracking here and rotating there. This process understandbly generates a lot of heat and pain and I wonder whether allowing the heat to continue with the aim ‘to get through it’ is the correct response or whether we should think about applying an ice pack for a while to allow the true effects of the massage and manipulation to shw themselves.

Maybe the process, idea, I am looking for is to wake things up, apply an ice pack and then quietly observe what true change occurs?

laptop meltdown

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Ok – my laptop is not looking as bad as the pic – but it has stopped working. It decided to walk out and leave me on saturday afternoon, just after I had the odd thought to back up my assignments on my pen drive.

The shell is there, it looks the same, the noises are the same … but she has gone and left me! I push the power button and she talks of hard drive failure. I try to boot form the windows disc and she sighs at my stupidity. There is no more windows, no more outlook, no more work!

At the moment we are attempting to repair the hard drive – so we will see what happens, but its a very slow process … 3 and a half hours in and we are 58% complete. That’s an interesting thought.

It just seems that my forces slowing down to reflect is going to continue.