no conviction

This challenged me in the uncomfortable way that Pete Rollin’s has done in the past:

In a world where following Christ is decreed to be a subversive and illegal activity you have been accused of being a believer, arrested and dragged before a court.

You have been under clandestine surveillance for some time now and so the prosecution has been able to build up quite a case against you. They begin the trial by offering the judge dozens of photographs which show you attending church meetings, speaking at religious events, and participating in various prayer and worship services. After this they present a selection of items that have been confiscated from your home: religious books that you own, worship CDs and other Christian artefacts. Then they step up the pace by displaying many of the poems, pieces of prose, and journal entries that you had lovingly written concerning your faith. Finally, in closing, the prosecution offers your Bible to the judge. This is a well-worn book with scribbles, notes, drawings, and underlings throughout, evidence, if it were needed, that you had read and re-read this sacred text many times…

you can read the rest at Pete’s blog.

quick set up lifestyle Roman style

Today will be my last day as a member of the congregation of St Marks which has been our spiritual home for a good 20 years and so it will be interesting to leave.

I’ve kindly been given the preaching slot for the morning and have chosen a passage from the lectionary (what a good Anglican I have become!!) I shall be sharing some thoughts on Romans 12: 9-21 as well as saying goodbye, thanking people and sharing a little of what I hope to do as an ordained pioneer minister.

As I’ve been reflecting on Paul’s words I believe God hit me with something yesterday. Yesterday I helped a friend called Keith buy a laptop. Keith is retired and was not entirely sure what he wanted and I offered to help him buy one and set it up. Keith got a great bargain of a 1MB RAM laptop with a printer and insurance. We brought it home to set up and had a choice, as with many electrical things, of looking through a big manual or using the quick set up guide.

To fully understand the computer and its possibilities, its range of port, sockets, capabilities and so on, you needed to read the manual (or play around to find things which is what I would do). But their was this option of the quick set up guide to enable Keith to start using his laptop immediately. The quick set up guide tells you the basics to get you up and running.

I’ve been challenged as I’ve been reading these few words. If the Bible is a manual (an illustration that many use which like any illustration is incomplete) then it strikes me that the letter to the Romans is the quick set up guide. In this letter you have everything you need to get you started and moving on and living a good Christian life, but if you want to experience more of God, see more of God’s wonders in your life then you will need to investigate other parts of the Bible.

These few verses which talk about living are incredibly challenging. They start with a clear command to be authentic – ‘don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them.’ That opening verse could take all day to look at. I can think of people in my church that it is difficult for me to love. I’m being honest and guess that is a shortcoming, but it is reality for me. I could gloss over it and talk about the different types of love that there are, but the Greek word here is ‘agape’ and so this is the type of love that is used to describe the love that God has for Jesus. That’s an amazing ask, but it is an ask in the quick set up guide – this is part of the basics to get you going. Agape love is not an add on extra – it is part of genuine discipleship.

Paul moves on to hospitality asking the reader not just to invite people home or practice hospitality but to ‘get into the habit of inviting guests home’. That word ‘habit’ has never jumped out at me before. I have been thinking recently of breaking a bad habit and finding out how difficult that is to do. Habits are second nature, they are automatic, we do them without thinking, they are hard to break because they ahve found their way into our subconscious attitude. When we are relaxed and think others are not watching we fall into habit mode. Paul is saying we should be so into hospitality that it is a habit we cannot break.

Paul then moves to relationships and particularly at the area of justice and getting even. can’t help; but think of my children as I read these words. My chidren’s cries of ‘unfair’ or ‘she did thinks and so I did that’. We are built with a strong sense of justice in our DNA and we are wronged, our loved ones are wronged, we want to get even, we want to balance the scales, we like to take things into our own hands.

Paul tells us to leave this to God to sort and act in a way so that we bless those that do wrong to us. Ignoring and leaving to God is one thing, but going out of our way to bless those that bring harm is another tall order. It sounds bizarre, and it rips against my human desires to get even – but again, this behaviour is in the quick set up guide, this is part of the basics of discipleship, its not an add on extra. It’s part of the central deal.

These three parts of the set up guide for Christian discipleship are pretty amazing. They are a tall order but I have paused and though ‘what if…’

What if people in church acted like that? What if people in church genuinely loved each other? What if people in church had the habit of hospitality? What if people in church did not worry about getting even and left God to deal with things while they blessed people through their actions?

The result would be a radically alternative community. A community that grabbed the attention of others. A community that people would have to have an opinion on. Would people want to join a community like that? Would you want to join a community like that?

As you think about that … I’m off to preach!

Mandela style leadership

I caught Alan Hirsch’s blog on the leadership principles of Nelson Mandela, who is one of my all time heroes.

Here are his eight principles…

1. Courage is not the absence of fear — it’s inspiring others to move beyond it
2. Lead from the front — but don’t leave your base behind
3. Lead from the back — and let others believe they are in front
4. Know your enemy — and learn about his favorite sport
5. Keep your friends close — and your rivals even closer
6. Appearances matter — and remember to smile
7. Nothing is black or white
8. Quitting is leading too

You can read more here.

As a reflection, I think I have heard them all before in some way or another apart from number 8. My instant reaction was that to quit was wrong and surely not part of leadership. Is quitting in this sense, though, any different to ‘knowing which battles to fight and which to leave?’

Ahead of me there is a point of principle that I wish to make a stand on. A number of people have, however, suggested to me that it would be wiser to choose my battles and that this one, although it may be honourable, is not worth fighting at this point in time. In that sense, then, it is good leadership to quit.

Quitting is leading to ….

apple simplicity

if only life was as simple as an iphone or macbook!
Recently I have made the change from PC to apple. I have been helped in this process by very generous friends, and recently received an ordination present of an iPhone which is pretty amazing.

In the early days I struggled with Apple technology and then found out this was due to me trying to make life too complicated. Apple works simply, my difficulties were due to treating the apple like a PC which tends not to be be simple and straight forward. I am finding more and more that Apple technology is quite straight-forward – if you want something to happen you just drag it, click it, move it!

In my Christian journey I can look back and see how I have made things complicated by not doing the obvious to achieve what I want to achieve or get where I wish to get. I have been conscious that there has been that desire to make things difficult which I probably think has it’s roots in the ‘no pain no gain’ mentality that is not uncommon to many of us.

The two computer systems of PC and Mac seem to originate from two different lifestyles: a PC of ‘this is life’, you need this and so be consumed; the Mac with ‘life is out there’, have fun with this, but there is more and so do it quickly and get on with other stuff.

My brand of Christianity is about having a life, not about being consumed with doing things. It is about fun not a set of systems and rules about how we should behave and what we can and cannot do. It is about creativity and following your path with the relational God with others others but not being compelled to believe or do the same as everyone else.

This is about discovering life.
I believe this is authentic discipleship.

celebrate the NHS

Today I am quite thankful for being in the UK and having the NHS. It’s easy to take this for granted and in the UK it is not uncommon to moan about this wonderful socialist creation as we forget that in many other countries free health care is just a dream. Until the Labour government of 1948 introduced this people who could not afford it had no health care.

Today I phoned my doctor for an appointment and by midday had some better pain killers and a referral to Orthopaedics who my doctor thinks will want to give me a scan as I have been seeing my chiropractor for 6 months. She suspects a trapped nerve or something.

I have to wait for an appointment but that is still pretty impressive stuff.

This year is the 60th celebration of the NHS and I really believe it is something we should both be proud of and not take for granted. Next time I am tempted to moan I shall try to remember that this is a real privilege of living where I do.

Busy times … or just getting old!

I’ve not blogged for a while.
This is not due to lack of inspiration.
It’s more a combination of inspiration / thought overload accompanied with a packed diary and being dragged around London for the day by my daughter.

The week seems to have been crammed with busyness but I have a sneaking suspicion that it is more to do with my faltering energy levels and the failure to pack everything in at the rate that I have been used to.

Currently I have a few challenges! I am struggling with an essay concerning the Christian theology and relationship to other religions. I am struggling with the balance of inclusiveness alongside the integrity of my belief in the finality of Jesus Christ (i.e John 14:16: I am the way, the truth and the life ….)I’m finding this assignment the hardest I’ve done and the mental energy seems to be quite exhausting.

Another ‘challenge is getting my head around ordination and the need to get my act together and order some fancy ‘vicary’ type gear. Sarah says I can’t but the PVC cassock from eBay (I’m sorry if I have just offended you all) and really should buy a real one. (The eBay one is certainly a lot cheaper … but probably less comfortable!) Again … this seems to be taking mental energy for some strange reason … mainly because I’ve never spent hundreds of pounds on clothes … and I will be on a dress!

Next week I am leading part of a retreat – so yet another challenge is spending quality time preparing stuff for the people coming. I think the retreat will be good – but I do still have a few things to do.

There have been great times in the busyness. I managed to catch up with good friend Sheena for lunch. It always saddens me that we never have the time for meeting with friends regularly that mean so much to us.

Yesterday was a highlight in that I spent the day with Beth as her school had a staff training day. We started at the Tate Modern where Beth enjoyed parts of the Duchamp, Manray and Picabia exhibition. We both particularly appreciated Duchamp’s Fountain.

Following a coffee in the members room, we had a pizza lunch and visited Hamleys before ending the day in Carnaby Street and The Sacred Cafe. As we sat and chatted I was amazed by the way in which my daughter cold comfortable move from great maturity in the Tate and Sacred Cafe while still maintaining childlike love of places like Hamleys. I’m a very lucky dad!

After that day I may have been lucky … but I was conscious of how tired I was too! It’s much easier working than wandering around London with your daughter!

Today it was back to normal … queues on the M25 as I traveled to Wycombe to meet up with Paul – a top guy with great vision and always a pleasure to drink giant coffees with in Costa (no one else really matches the size of their giant coffee!)

Anyway … the day is nearly over … I’m soon to go to sleep so that tomorrow I can remember again that I must not forget to live!

specialness of life

The children have been very excited over the last 2 days due to the fact that Sarah and myself allowed ourselves to be talked into buying them 2 guinea pigs.

All three of the children have been seen sitting outside the hutch talking to the guinea pigs as they try to get them accustomed to us and used to being handled and so on. It’s quite interesting to watch the fascination of the children as they look upon their new family members (I’m not allowed to call them pets apparently!)

The light of fascination in the eyes of my children has caused me to think of the fascination of creation once once again. If I reflect it’s actually quite mazing that my three children who have grown up in a technological age and love play station, Wii, the computer etc can be fascinated by 2 little 7 week old guinea pigs.

The guinea pigs have held their attention yesterday and today much longer than any video game has done for ages.

It sees that there is something special, something fascinating, something amazing about life which my children are aware of and which I, and maybe other adults, have become de-sensitized to.

I think I need to reflect on the wonders of creation more than I do as today while I have observed my children from a distance while working on the laptop I have had this distinct feeling that I have been kissing out on something quite special.

Thank you

I’ve not blogged in ages – a mixture of unexpected illness and then a SEITE training week away has kept me away from the laptop. I’m still not properly well today and so unsure when SHP will be back to normal – hopefully in not too long a time.

The blog world is great – and I’d like to thank those of you who have emailed to see if I am ok resulting from a lack of words here. I’m touched and feel quite privileged to be part of such a community.

One problem with a forced and unexpected blog fast is that I now have far too many thoughts, reflections and words in my head which I need to get out. When these are in some logical order you will be the first to know!

my weak humanity


Today was a day of great tasks and plans. YFC are good to me in giving me half a day a week to study for SEITE. Today the plan was to get a large part of my placement report from Harvest written up so that I could start on the other assignment which is looking at the role of the Holy Spirit in the creation of Christian communities.

As I was making a coffee at about 8.30am I felt my back muscles start to contract across the middle of my back and within minutes I was unable lying on the floor in agony and unable to move. This has to go down as the most painful experience in my life to date – even more so than being run over in Bristol!

There is something very humbling about having to call to your 14 year old son as you can’t reach the painkillers which are centimetres out of your reach. I don’t know what would have happened if Tom had not been home today due to teacher training that’s an interesting thought!

I was forced to lay on the floor for just over an hour until the drugs started to relax the muscles and then was able to get back to my feet although only able to walk carefully around the house. Sometimes sitting is good, and sometimes moving is good, or lying or whatever!

My humanity, or the frailty of my humanity, caused my plans to change today. I have achieved a fraction of what I should have achieved and I am feeling a bit peeved over how I am going to fit stuff in now. Some people have said that this could be God calling me to slow down, others that this may be a form of spiritual attack – maybe its some or all of them, I’m unsure.

Today. though, yet again I find myself thinking how weak and useless I am without the power of God in my life. It’s easy to think I do my work and that I am good at what I do – whereas in reality I am nothing without God or the gifts he has given me to use for the Kingdom.

Today I have reflected upon that fact quite painfully and amidst the tears of pain today I was forced to cry out to God in a concrete way that I have not called out to God in a very long time. This was a cry out of my pain and panic of a need for God’s action now in substantive way rather than some theoretical hope which is where a lot of my prayer seems to have gone recently.

I am currently praying for the pain to ease and healing to occur – particularly before we set up for Living Hope after the meditation around the cross on Good Friday. Please feel free to join with that prayer!

a mad few days

It’s been a mad few days which has left little time for blogging, or reflecting on what is going on around me at the moment. It’s also been an important few days.

On Tuesday I met with good friends. I met up with a friend for lunch, had a tutorial with another and then a couple of pints. As we sat and chatted I realised how disconnected I have felt recently being on placement and rushing from one task or meeting to another.

Last night I became chair of governors of a local school that, when I thought about it, realised I have been connected with since 1996 – it’s amazing how the time has flown! I’m looking forward to this new role and hoping I will be able to support and challenge well.

Today I met up with great people from the diocese 2 of who will be supervising me from September and 2 who are responsible fro my ongoing training. This was a good time as people were honest – I was told to get off my high horse which I need to hear sometimes! It was refreshing to hear as well! I’m excited about September (if a bit daunted still by the whole ordination thing) but I can see the diocese are really putting in masses of effort to gt this to work.

IN between those meetings and experiences I have manged to get loads of YFC admin tasks and phone calls done that have been hanging there and screaming for attention.

In all a mad few days but a good few days.

image from faceupstudio.com/blahg