Category Archives: life

achieving life

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As this week draws to a close, I’ve been thinking a lot more on life following yesterdays thought, possibly due to some sad young deaths both locally and nationally. I’m slightly embarrased to say that I never thought I’d be quoting Jade Goody in such a poignant way.

‘I want to be remembered as the one who irritated and entertained people in equal measure! But I also want to be remembered as the girl who put up a fight. I was given a death sentence, but I didn’t let it kill me. I fought it, got married, got christened. I’ve achieved more in 27 years than some achieve in their lifetime. I could bitch about dying young, but at the end of the day, I can look back on my life and be proud of what I have done.’ Jade Goody

you’re never too old!

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This news report made me smile.
I hope I’m this fit when I reach 71!
It’s a shame others are trying to stop him staying fit!

I deny the resurrection!

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Great post here from Pete Rollins – go beyond the shock of the title and read the post to be challenged.

on the road

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This morning was the most daunting task that I have had to carry out since being ordained and being at the cathedral. We have recently started a Family Eucharist, which is an all age service in the cathedral. Today I spoke at the Family Eucharist and I think I was the most nervous I have been for quite a while.

For the last however many years I have avoided the talk/sermon at family services of any kind. Even when I was on the staff of Holy Trinity Nailsea I avoided this as Sarah is so much better – and still is.

My curacy at the cathedral meant that today was the day to break new ground. My first ever family service talk. I started the talk by playing a few games such as ‘I Spy’, ‘Numberplates’ and ‘Animal Alphabet’ and I was quite excited to hear people calling out names of animals as we went through the alphabet. We got stuck on the letter x but there seems to be quite a few here – none of which I have ever heard – such as the xenopus pictured!

My aim through these was to introduce the idea of journey as these games are typical of those played in cars with children on journeys – and today we were looking at Saul’s journey to Damascus and meeting Jesus on the road.

The interesting thing for me in the preparation for this talk is where Jesus chooses to meet with Saul. It is on the road where the action is – not at the destination, not during a camp set up for the night, not even during a lunch break … but God chooses to meet with Saul while Saul is on a normal everyday journey as part of his normal everyday work.

As I dwelled on that, I then started to wonder whether I have actually ever missed God on my everyday travels through being plugged into my ipod, reading my book (not whilst driving!) or just because I have been too intent on the task being finished or the destination being reached. It’s an interesting thought.

Could it be that God is trying to break through a lot of the time, maybe not as majorly and unavoidably as he does with Saul in today’s text – but still in an unmistakingly unique way that tells us it is God? I wonder …

(if you want to read the whole talk (all one and a bit sides of A4!) it will be on the cathedral website with all the other sermons here.

rejected

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Recently I had a conversation with a young lady that saddened me intensely.

A little while into the conversation the young lady, of about 19/20, said ‘of course I used to go to church but I left …. I had to leave because no one will accept me … I would be religious if I could find a church that would accept me but none will … because I am gay.’

The conversation went on and she seemed positively surprised to hear that not everyone in the church felt she was condemned because of her sexuality. She was surprised to hear that not all in the church would condemn her because she is attracted to other women.

I left the conversation with a deep sadness for this young lady. I wanted to prove to her that God loves her, that she is not condemned in any way and that God views her as his daughter and loves her intensely no matter what she does, who she is, or who she sleeps with.

I wanted to apologise for the church. Even as I write I can feel tears welling – for here is a daughter of Christ who wants to be accepted, who wants to worship and be part of a Christian community – and yet she is deprived of that because of the foolishness of ideas and rules that have lost or forgotten the major point of our faith in Christ – God is love and Jesus came to bring all people back into relationship with God – irrespective of social standing, colour of skin, sexuality, gender, geography, …. the list can go on.

If I can cry over a young girl like this deprived of her Lord by people – I am forced to ask what is God’s reaction? The God who knit this girl together in her mother’s womb, the God who breathed life giving spirit into her lungs, the God who has ordained her days, the God who knows her better than she knows herself and the God who loves her totally and unconditionally. I have shed a few tears … does God cry a river, a lake, an ocean?

A deep sense of sadness and helplessness sum up this whole conversation for me. All I can do is pray:

Lord, meet this young lady where she is, reassure her of her love for you and in some way draw her back to yourself with people who understand and accept. Amen

Stop the Cycle

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Barnado’s do a lot of great work.
This is a horrific advert but an advert which hopefully will push people to action. This year many people I have spoken to are talking of donating money to worthy causes rather than but big presents or lots of cards. This year Barnado’s would be a great charity to support.

Watch the advert – you may want to cry after!

disorientated joy

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It’s interesting, bit I feel a bit disorientated this week as I have done different things other than waiting in places. It has meant I have been ‘busy’ in a way that I have not been used to over the last 13 weeks and I am a little surprised I guess by how quickly I have seen my ‘waiting’ life as the norm. It’s also interesting to note that I miss waiting, especially as i was finding this uncomfortable only a few weeks back.

On Monday I was a guest at the college of canons meeting at the cathedral. This started with a lunch, a tour of the cathedral and what we are aiming to do through the interpretation project. After an AGM and looking at the annual report and accounts etc. we had a special evensong with the bishop present to install two new lay canons and three other people to the Rochester Society of St. Andrew.

It was good to share with these canons and listen to them as they chatted. It was a privilege as so many of them took time to chat with me about my role and offer both encouragement and advice. I’m not sure how you become a canon, but I assume it is because of experience and integrity – so to spend time with these priests and glean from their experience.

Tuesday I did the carol service as I have already mentioned, yesterday was training and although today is pretty much a normal day for me, today and tomorrow are going to be taken up with preparations for a ‘waiting installation’ that I am developing around the high altar for the Dickens festival this weekend. I have never been to a Dickens Festival (despite living here for 15 years!) but I am told that Rochester is packed and last year we had 10 000 people pass through the cathedral over the weekend. I’m quite looking forward to seeing what happens here.

After that on Monday I’m looking forward to attending the national pilgrimage at Coventry Cathedral – and at the moment I am feeling really glad that I booked a train ticket months ago so I will be able to relax a bit rather than queuing in traffic!

So … today I am feeling a little disorientated … but still quite excited and amazed at what is going on around me.

certificate

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woohoo! Today I received my turquoise star and certificate from eBay – I have 100 positive feedbacks and so that means you can trust me now!

revisiting my brain paths

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My blogging has been seriously hampered by staying at home for the last week with a painful back and leg that did not allow me to walk or sit in front of a computer screen for longer than 2 minutes. A year ago I injured my back and it seems that swelling has re-occured and is aggravating a nerve. Last weekend it was very aggravated!

While it was difficult staying at home when I wanted to be out, lying on my back and not even being able to read for very long (amazing how drugs make words move around pages!) I was ‘forced’ to contemplate and pray. I say forced but this is not quite the case. There was nothing else to do and so this is what my brain found itself doing; it was a bit like it going back to its default position – it could not grab any new information and so chose to revisit stuff it had already stored away in various places.

What surprised me most during that time was how fast time went. I quite enjoy silence and so time dragging was never going to be a problem but I was surprised how quickly I could be lost in thoughts, or reflection, and enjoy traveling down the roads my mind sent me. I found myself traveling alone lanes and tracks that I had forgotten about and on more than one occasion even racing down a motorway that I had forgotten all about! It was quite easy to become lost in myself.

This space brought to mind new things. These ‘new’ things were ideas I had had in the past, conversations with people of another time, quotes and ideas that I had read months and years ago. It was not that I had forgotten these things – they were simply stored in parts of my brain to be accessed at a later date. My problem with that is, that as a person that loves to read and accumulate information and ideas, that later date to re-visit stuff never seems to come.

Essentially I have had a 10 day trip down memory lane and remembered a lot of stuff that I think has a bearing on, and will influence, what I am currently involved in. Due to my mind trip I will be returning to familiar places tomorrow with fresh eyes that have remembered old stuff.

So … what have I learned from this experience. An important lesson, I believe, is that study is not just about accumulating new information, or reading a new article or getting hold of the latest book. Study is about reviewing what I already know about a subject and considering how this relates to my current experience and thinking. I have become aware that I have neglected this side of study.

Hopegully I can remember that as I return to what I hope will be a full week of work (those of you that pray … please offer the odd prayer here and there fro my back and leg – cheers!)

variety helps

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I have a fairly varied week this week ahead, by recent standards, and I think I will benefit from getting outside my patch so that when I return I can look again with fresh eyes and listen afresh to what is happening around me.

It’s amazing how quickly the body adapts to new surroundings and I am conscious that I feel very comfortable in most of the places that I hang out which may be a good thing. It is also true though that comfort leads to familiarity and with familiarity things are missed, or is it just we stop observing?

This week my variety has a few good highlights:
Wednesday – meeting up with Brother Colin who is a Franciscan friar in Canterbury and very kindly agreed to be my spiritual director.
also on Wednesday I am looking forward to watching Alice in the Cities and the newly found (to me) Rochester Film Salon. I love film and I like meeting new people, so I hope this evening is great – of course if anyone out there wants to come with me that would be cool too!

On Thursday late afternoon I am meeting up with a cluster of people I trained with to have a few drinks and chat about how things are going. It will be good to hear what is happening with other people.

Friday night I’m popping in on the Saints Alive celebration in the cathedral hosted by the Churches Together in Medway. Last year I spoke at this event and it will be cool to just be there as part of the congregation, see some old friends and catch up with what is happening in other parts of the city.

Other times through the week I hope to pop in on SPLAT, which is a fantastic holiday club run by Sarah. Seeing the enthusiasm on the faces of children and the creativity of the leaders is always a special privilege.

A change is as good as a rest my nan always used to tell me – actually I think it is much better.