Category Archives: faith

trying to view galaxies with $5 binoculars

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imagesLoving this thought from Richard Rohr today:

From now on, we must look at nothing from the ordinary point of view. . . . If anyone is in Christ, they have become a completely new construct, and the old construct must pass away! — 2 Corinthians 5:16-17

Today the unnecessary suffering on this earth is great for people who could have known better and should have been taught better by their religions. In the West, religion became preoccupied with telling people what to know more than how to know, telling people what to see more than how to see. We ended up seeing Holy Things faintly, trying to understand Great Things with a whittled-down mind, and trying to love God with our own small and divided heart. It has been like trying to view the galaxies with a five-dollar pair of binoculars.

Contemplation, my word for this larger seeing, keeps the whole field open; it remains vulnerable before the moment, the event, or the person—before it divides and tries to conquer or control it. Contemplatives refuse to create false dichotomies, dividing the field for the sake of the quick comfort of their ego. I call contemplation “full-access knowing”—not irrational, but prerational, nonrational, rational, and transrational all at once. Contemplation is an exercise in keeping your heart and mind spaces open long enough for the mind to see other hidden material. It is content with the naked now and waits for futures given by God and grace.

That word, ‘vulnerable’, is there again. A word that seems to be everywhere at the moment. Could it be that it is through our vulnerability that we really learn and really experience the important stuff around us from God. Maybe as we become vulnerable, by letting go of what we think we know, that we actually gain in knowledge and really learn more about ourselves and our creator?

Giving space and taking space to just be and see … then we may be amazed by what we experience and notice.

everyday vulnerabilty

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vulnerable spiderLast night my good friend, Terry, preached a blinder at St Mark’s on friendship … and drew out that friendship cannot happen without vulnerability. (I guess you will be able to listen for yourself soon from this link)

Terry used the friendship of Jonathan and David in 1 Samuel 18 as one illustration. Jonathan hands over his robe, belt, sword and bow … in both an act of trust/friendship but also one of great vulnerability. From such vulnerability comes a strong relationship.

I think last nights sermon hit on the crux of friendship … but maybe even on the whole of Christian life … friendship, relationships, work, ministry. As I have thought over night I have realised this should come as no surprise really if we consider the Christ child.

The incarnation, the God taking on flesh stuff and moving into the neighbourhood, is an image of total and complete vulnerability. The creator of the universe becoming a foetus in the womb of a teenage girl in a pretty rough end of the world, growing as a child in society totally dependant on a successful harvest and at the mercy of pretty primitive medical facilities if things started to go wrong. There were 30 years of that normal everyday vulnerability before Jesus starts his work and moves into that last week leding to that Friday where we see vulnerability at it’s most raw!

As I look at my week ahead, and my weeks gone past, I think vulnerability is key to what I do. I think it is key to what everyone does in reality. We all live a daily life of everyday vulnerability …. whether we walk a high street with a dog collar on, or whether we stand in front of a class of students, or whether we run a bank, or whether we keep a home going …. each role entails us giving something of ourselves, being vulnerable. Interestingly in places I have worked it is those who pretend and give nothing of themselves, those who refuse to accept or give their vulnerability,  who are the bullies or the people that people don’t wish to work with very much.

Terry is totally correct that friendship, real friendship, cannot develop without vulnerability. I would add that Christian mission, or life, also cannot genuinely happen without being vulnerable. It is in our vulnerability that people see that we value, care and love them for who they are. As an aside some Christians in our country complain about Christian rights … that has always jarred with me. I follow a Christ who made himself totally vulnerable …. to be vulnerable means you give up your rights and rely on God. How can we campaign for ‘Christian rights’ when we follow the Christ of Good Friday?

In today’s thought from Richard Rohr we read: When vulnerable exchange happens, there is always a broadening of being on both sides. We are bigger and better people afterward.

Without vulnerability I don’t think we have much. It is something unique about humanity. It was something unique about Christ.

I wonder …. being made in the image of God … maybe there is something there about sharing in the vulnerability of our creator … as he made himself vulnerable … so maybe we are to do so as well …

And then .. by our vulnerability we become more the person we are created to be.

focussed and beautiful

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Warning: if you hate those sorts of posts where people talk about their new pets and share how their new pet is wonderful and that while walking with the new pet how God talks to them in some way …. if you really don’t like hearing that sort of stuff …. well you best stop reading now!

IMG_0921Meet Terry, aka Buglys Banker, a retired racing greyhound which joined our family on Saturday. We collected him from Croftview Kennels, one of the local Retired Greyhound Trust places.

Terry, like most greyhounds, is a pretty placid and relaxed guy. Yesterday I think I calculated that he slept 18 or 19 hours out of the 24. He certainly fits into the Ryan chilled laid back kind of lifestyle. The interesting thing about greyhounds, however, is that they are trained hunting machines.

A greyhound can spot ‘prey’ anything up to half a mile away and can get from a standard start to speed approaching nearly 40 mph faster than a ferrai can! But …. most times you see Terry he will either be by our side wanting to be stroked or hugged or sleeping in his basket and the picture shows.

It’s hard to think that Terry can be a speedy hunting machine as the websites tell us. I found that hard to believe until last night. As Terry was walking slowly along at around 10.30pm last night on his lead, not really wanting to be there (indeed I had to encourage him to come out), devotedly staying by my side, he suddenly saw a fox. Terry’s whole attitude changed in an instant.

This cuddly rather reluctant dog grew a few more inches instantly. He become totally focussed, ears pricked up in complete attention and alertness. Eyes fixed on the fox. His lead became tight as he pulled in his desire to do what he was created to do …. to hunt! He was both focussed and beautiful. It was an amazing sight and it took a few calls of his name to distract him (the training advice tells us that although intelligent greyhounds can only focus on one thing at a time – so the plan is to divert attention from the fox back to me!)

After a little while I had the calm relaxed Terry back. But, for that 60 seconds or so he was totally focussed, totally in tune, totally looking like the dog he is created to be. There was no doubt over what was on his mind.

So … what is my threatened God input from above?  ….. while walking back to the house last night I started to think of our lives as Christians and as ‘church’. I started to wonder if a lot of the time people look at us an individuals and collectively and simply don’t believe that we can be who we say we are or that we believe what we say we believe …. simply because we don’t look or act like we do.

When the church is distracted more about being right in its (often internal) arguments rather than being focussed on the truth of God’s extravagant love it loses that opportunity to look focussed and beautiful and instead seems tired, laid back and disinterested while it follows and whim of attention.

When individuals feel the need to to win arguments, or to prove themselves to be correct, or decide their ‘brand’ of Christianity is the only correct thinking there is rather than focus on the grace of God that says all are welcome and all are created in the Image of God .. then again we lose that opportunity to look focussed and beautiful as we reflect the image of Christ in society.

The I wondered … what difference could we really make if we became focussed and look like the real thing …. I wonder …

I sigh … but it’s nooooo problem!

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DSC_0419Its been a long summer and as I look back I sigh with a smile.

I have spoken of great weddings earlier and I ventured back to Detling, which I will write about at another time, and on Sunday I returned from a 2 week break in Antigua.

I love the island of Antigua. A large part of having a great holiday is the quality of the company. We went with a special group of people who I simply love to bits. A highlight (and DSC_0121there were lots!)  of my day, always, without fail, was having breakfast together as a group of 12 people …. and lunch … and dinner after pre-dinner drinks! There is something sacred about spending quality time and eating together and talking and suddenly realising that breakfast has nearly taken 90 mins! It was like time stood still … but then it all flew by so quickly as well.

I look back and sigh, though, not just due to missing the company, missing eating and drinking together each day …. I actually miss something about the island. It was not until I was writing my prayer email to supporters that I think part of the answer dawned on me.

DSC_0105The atmosphere and attitude on the island to me also seem to have something of the scared about them. The stereotypical ‘no problem’ attitude is a reality which is beautiful to both witness and be in receipt of. I think some people struggle more to accept this than others, because it demands a slowing down, and sometimes people avoid slowing down …. I wonder whether that is because they are scared a little of allowing themselves to catch themselves up! When we slow down we notice things we have to deal with. Antiguan people walked proudly … and I don’t know for sure … but I guess they have a better idea of who they are because they don’t spend their lives running from themselves.

I say this attitude has something sacred about it because i think it is an incredibly powerful illustration of Jesus’ words to us about worrying in Matthew 5:25-34:

“Therefore I say to you,  do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?  “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? “Which of you by worrying can add one 10cubit to his 11 stature?  “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;  “and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not 12 arrayed like one of these.  “Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  “For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

DSC_0440For a long time I will have an image of the crew of a catamaran leading all 12 of us in the words of Marley’s ‘Three Little Birds’ as we pulled alongside the jetty … another sacred experience that will bring those words of Jesus to life for me in a unique way.

Thank you friends for being trustworthy … thank you Antigua for being beautifully welcoming … thank you God for grabbing me to slow me down …. again!

surface and depth

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sacred secularFor some time I have struggled with the sacred/secular divide that to me seems to be quite prevalent in popular church culture. I might be wrong, as I am aware of a tendency I can have of generalising (being accountable to your best friend and wife means such things are pointed out to you on a regular basis!), but … there does seem to be a populist divide that seems to say … ‘this stuff is ok and ‘holy’, while this stuff is not good and should be ‘treated with care’.

Now clearly not everything is good for us. If I went out today and drank 15 pints of my favourite, and beautifully created by God, ale the likelihood is that I would not wake up. Alternatively if I pray all that for my next door neighbour to receive badly needed food and simply stay on my knees in my house with my full cupboards there is a possibility that she won’t wake up. But, the abuse of something good does not make that ‘something’ wrong or bad for you.

Richard Rohr’s thoughts this week have been exploring this sacred/secular thing at more depth. I have been nodding away and smiling as his words have reminded his readers that all of creation was created by God, that God is everywhere, that God is both within and without (a Gatsby link!), that all people are created in the image of God. Now if all that is true then it goes that there is no where where God cannot be. If God is present then by default the place where God is must be sacred, so … everywhere is sacred. It’s simple although messes with my head quite a bit.

I think of Moses at the burning bush. He takes of his shoes as he sees the flames and hears God’s voice. Does he take off his shoes because the ground suddenly becomes sacred, or does he remove them because the ground was always sacred and he has just realised? I think it is the latter. The ground I walk on each day as I wander Gillingham High Street is sacred …. that is quite a mind blowing thought for so may reasons!

I think today’s thought from Rohr kind of hits this on the hed for me. Maybe it is not so much about sacred and secular, but more about surface and depth …. ‘Everything is profane if you live on the surface of it, and everything is sacred if you go into the depths of it’ read more here as Rohr puts it better than most ever could!

Gatsby – a gaudy extravagance

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THE-GREAT-GATSBY-International-Poster-04-535x247Last night at Rochester Film Society we saw The Great Gatsby. As with the reviews of the film the discussion afterwards was mixed.

possible spolier alert … but not too much!

I pretty much loved the film. The soundtrack jarred as 20’s jazz was crudely mashed with Beyonce and rap. The blatant sensory overload of glaring colour, brazen  activity and overpowering dialogue all contributed to what I think was trying to be an illustration of the clash between pre-modern and a modern lifestyle. I don’t think the sound mashing or the gaudy sensory overload worked particularly well, because it meant watching the film was not always comfortable, but then I suspect that may well of been the aim of Luhrmann all the time.

The acting of DiCaprio and Mulligan oozed a real base chemistry that I think also gave a deliberate vulgar feel to the film. After initially not rating DiCaprio, I think it’s amazing that he has already delivered two amazing roles in Django and Gatsby this year … and it is still only May!

There was a line in the film from Nick, played by Toby Maguire, which grabbed me and has stayed with me… ‘I was within and without’. In his narration role this tended to refer to the Toby character being in both places … both a participant and a practitioner, both an observer and one being observed, both at the centre and on the periphery, both here and there …. or simply both, and! Very apt descriptions that I resonate with in spirituality.

I’ve not blogged about a film in a while but those who have read SHP for a little while will know I wonder whether this is a medium through which God still chooses to communicate to the world … just like God does through any and every art medium within creation. I think an underlying message in this gaudy over played yet beautiful film is one of presence. I think there is a theme of presence which over-rides the pre-modern and modern world which today does not recognise any sacred or secular … but simply a whole creation that is totally sacred.

There was a song overplayed throughout the film from Lana Del Rey, the overplayed lyric being ‘will you still love me when I am no longer young and beautiful?’

I think the underlying message from the creator is ‘Yes’

sometimes Jesus just isn’t enough!

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DSC_1308Today was an encouraging day which showed me, in quite a special way, how much ‘progress’, if that is at all the correct word, that has been made in the High Street engaging with people.

Today I met with my good friend Terry and we went for a coffee and a chat. We went to my normal morning cafe where I naturally engaged with a number of people, from the staff to a few of the customers. On our way back down the High Street a couple of other people spoke to me or said hello in a variety of ways.

Normally I would not have been so conscious of these interactions. My friends presence and reaction, however, reminded me that something amazing has happened and is actually continuing to happen in the High Street area. I only need to go back a very few months and I remember numerous times when I was close to tears due to the lack of pattern and engagement that I was encountering with the local community. I felt unrooted, disorientated, disposed of, but most of all isolated, and came incredibly incredibly close to simply stopping and getting a real job!

Things have happened so slowly and relationships have developed in small, often indistinguishable steps: a hello from the waitress has become ‘hello gorgeous’ (well … maybe that’s a big step!!!), a nod has become a handshake, a smile has become a ‘how are you?’, the ‘nice to see you’ has become a conversation about Thor being real and Jesus being fictional.

Interestingly, or maybe surprisingly, or even shockingly (!), in the main I have not noticed these developments at all …. until a friend offered to take me for a coffee on my familiar ground.

I guess this could be a bit similar to watching a child grow up. You see your beautiful son or daughter every day and do not notice the small changes in their height or facial features and all of a sudden you see a photo of them taken a year ago and think ‘whoah …. when did all that change happen?’ Today, being with my friend, has mirrored that exercise of looking at a 6 month old photo, and I’ve gone ‘whoah … when did THAT start to happen!’

The weird thing is that I know this stuff … the stuff that says although I need to work alone a lot of the time I need honest people around me to keep me on track. People who care enough to encourage and take time, people who love me enough to point out when I’m being a pratt and people who are don’t feel awkward or embarrassed about pointing out things that are good!

Although I need to work alone sometimes I can’t actually do this alone …. and yes I know I need Jesus but actually Jesus isn’t enough! I don’t believe that is a lack of faith thing (actually if we were to go down the scripture line I would need to point out the Trinity stuff …. I need the Creator and The Spirit too!) but more a reality of faith thing.

God is my inspiration and gives my ability and energy …. but Jesus is not always enough because I also need the people – the trusted and loved friends spoken of above, that Jesus has put around me. I don’t believe these relationships of trust are incidental. They are clearly, in my mid, divinely inspired.

I think when I was growing up in evangelicalism this type of thing was called ‘accountability’ …. well if that is what this is I’m pleased to be part of it.

Thank you 🙂

 

letting God be God

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tumblr_llrj0wy6Th1qenz05o1_500Yesterday I had the real privilege of taking a baptism at St Mark’s Church. Sarah and Jo led all age worship amazingly, as they always do, in a way that engaged people in a way that set them at ease but also challenged them to consider God’s word afresh, or maybe even for the first time.

The churches I work alongside do around 40-50 baptisms a year, which in itself is pretty exciting. One of the churches I am connected to has two baptism services per month due to the local demand. In a world that is supposedly becoming increasingly secular this in itself tells me that God is present and engaging with people in this area in a  pretty fundamental way …. by making people aware of their need for God in their lives.

Yesterday’s baptism was special and will stay with me for a while due to the story that goes with it. The person I baptised went on a school trip to a cathedral. In the cathedral, on a normal school trip, just wandering around the building, chatting to friends and listening to teachers, during a week day, with no talk, or exposition, or funny crowd pulling story … something special happened to this person.

The day after the school trip the person was found kneeling by the sofa with hands together. When asked by one of the family what was going on this reply came: ‘I’m praying because yesterday at the cathedral, I met Jesus, and now I want to be baptised.’

Wow!!!
God just did that by …. errr being GOD! 

Sometimes I get frustrated with people who seem to believe that we need to have a certain formula, or do things in a certain way, or have a certain tone of song, before God will act and do anything.  Sometimes I have found people, myself included, to be so sure of how God will behave to such an extent that if those certain things do not happen, they then draw conclusions that God was not there!

How incredibly bizarre is that way of thinking!

There is nowhere in God’s creation that God is not present. A basic principle of orthodox Christianity is the omnipresence of God.

keep-calm-let-god-be-godEssentially, this puts us in the position of dictating to God the way that God should do something. Actually I wonder if that puts us on the border of actually attempting to be God ourselves.

I wonder a lot of the time if what actually happens in the world is that God simply carries on doing what God does … and we can be so boxed up in our thinking that we miss what God is already doing. It’s not God’s fault that people don’t see what God is doing!

Sometimes… just the space, just the realisation that God will be God, and just allowing God to be God is simply all that is needed.

wasteful extravagance

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480247_10151510243705211_861319788_nThe day got off to a great start. We had a special morning at St Mark’s with three baptisms. There was a lot of excitement and noise and expectancy along with a real sense of joy, particularly at the celebration in a local club after the service.

After that the gathering got together with a theme of ‘wasteful extravagance’ based on today’s Gospel reading of Mary washing the feet of Jesus with some incredibly expensive perfume (John 12:1-8). After considering this story we went on to think about words to describe Mary as well as things that were precious to us, and whether we would be able to simply pour, or give, them away.

One station that I particularly enjoyed and was challenged by which Andy and Liz put together was a room with pictures of Mary. As soon as you entered the room you were hit with a rich smell of perfume, coming from two oil burners. The hit on the senses really challenged me over what Mary had done, seemingly without any concern for what others thought, or about the very costly nature of her actions.

I’ve been asking throughout the day … ‘what kind of faith allows you to pour a whole years wages away in such an extravagant act?’ A whole years! Not only is that a massive act of extravagance, but it’s an incredible act of of self denial and trust. Mary was not only worshipping her Lord, she was literally pouring away her security. This may well of been her pension plan … which she pours on Christ’s feet.

Wow … what a faith … a wasteful faith … a courageous faith …

Dust – promise or curse?

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imageIt blows down dry streets in eddies, dead. It gathers in corners. It forms into rich earth, and out of it sprout tiny seeds. It compacts into warm and rich clay, which can be cut and slammed and shaped by hands and wheel into pots, and bowls and little figures of stout women and tiny men. It blows in the stellar winds in furthest space. It is dust.

My thinking was challenged on Ash Wednesday with this beautifully written post over on the Thinking Anglicans website. Today I was challenged again as we visited a tin mine where, essentially tin ‘dust’ is transformed into something of use. I guess i have aways considered the negative and penitential side of dust, rather than the potential. Go read more here