I am just about to leave for Weymouth, the town of my boyhood. I often like going to Weymouth although, very honestly find my mum difficult at the best of times. Today I will need to try hard to be helpful and supportive as on Mother’s Day my Nan died and the funeral is tomorrow.

Why do these things happen on such bad days? Is there ever a good time for someone’s mum to die? Why doesn’t God make ‘mothers day’ a death free day for peoples mums? I guess those questions are shallow and silly – but they will be the kind of questions I get from my mum over dinner tonight. I honestly don’t know how I will answer them.

God, I just ask that I can be a good enough support over these next 24 hours!

Hey, look what happens when you keep the faith – last night was a great performance by the boys. I loved spectating – but still kicked the odd ball and definitely remember heading the ball off the line.

We are still in the relegation zone but only on goal difference now. Bring on the Ipswich on Saturday. Here’s hoping that Gillingham stay in the championship where they deserve to be.

I am already nervous. I did not think football had a major impact on my life but I am already worrying about the points we need to get tonight and our fight for Championship survival.

Sarah will tell me ‘it’s only a game’. Of course, in the wider scheme of things it is. If I compare the game of football with world poverty there is very obviously no comparison.

Richard wrote something on football a little while ago and it has been niggling me since. There is something about football that is incredibly infectious and emotive. I have been watching the Gills now for nearly 10 years since I returned from Bristol. I have seen normally quiet people become very loud and emotional during ‘the wonderful game’.

The thing I find odd is that I do not notice this in any other spectator sports. My experience here is not extensive, but football does seem to have a bit of a monopoly on crowds full of mixed emotion and I find myself asking why and wondering how this happened?

There is ‘something’ about ‘my team’ ‘our boys’ with comments like ‘we must win’, ‘we can’t lose to them’ and ‘we played well’. It is as if we are all playing the game with the 11 players on the pitch – flipping ‘eck sometimes I have even felt my leg try to kick the ball!!!! How weird is that?

I wonder if this is all about belonging? Is this nothing more that a base tribal instinct that is aroused within us when we all get together to ‘fight it out’ on the pitch. Two tribes fighting for victory? Or is it something else? Could it be an indication of the hunger of people in the UK? Are we replacing our worship of God with worship of our team?

I have no answers, only lots of questions!

It is only a game … although tonight is quite an important game where we need some points. I hope Gillingham has more pray-ers than Stoke tonight!!

Final thought? Does God enjoy football? If he does, I wonder who he supports?!!!

It was great to go to Greenwich YFC on Monday and meet up with Hugh and hear of the exciting strategy that they are starting to put together.

I’m also looking forward to seeing him and the team again as I lead part of their retreat on Friday at West Malling Abbey. I plan to help them us to think about where we all are with God, and where we would like to be. I really love doing stuff like this so it will be a great end to the week.

This evening we had a baptism service at church. I guess as far as Anglican churches go we are quite odd as we have a baptistry. Tonight 3 fantastic young people were baptised.

I had the pleasure of being able to share my brief thoughts on the older son from the Prodigal, while Sarah and Jake shared thoughts on the father and the younger son.

Tonight it was fantastic to see these young people supported by members of St Marks and at least 3 other local churches, friends from Gillingham YFC and family members who had traveled from as far away as Taunton.

A baptism service is always so exciting to see and, I think, a real privilege to be able to be present at.

In all- it has been a pretty cool weekend!

Glad to see that the mighty Gills go a well earned point at Leeds on Saturday, although it sounds like we were robbed! If only we could have hung on for 6 re minutes and got all 3 points we would have pulled ourselves out of the relegation zone.

It’s got to happen soon – I’m keeping the faith!

I had an interesting experience on Saturday as I went to facilitate a strategy morning with my old friends at Gillingham YFC. This was the first time I had met with them all since I left at the end of August and as slightly unsure of how things would work felt kind of weird as I saw them all and started to chat with them, and I think they did as well.

It was a cool experience for a number of good reasons. It was good to see that this team were still the same people but that they had a new way of working and relating to each other. It was good to see that Malcolm has successfully made the transition from team member to team leader. It was great to experience the passion of these people to reach out in new ways to the young people of Gillingham.

I was thanked at the end of the morning and my natural, without thinking, response was ‘It’s a pleasure to help out GYFC’. As I drove away those words came back to me and I thought … yes that is the truth, that is what I meant to say … even if, honestly, a small part of me wished I had been able to take up the invite to join my brother-in-law in a hospitality box at Twickenham!

In the afternoon we all went to Bluewater, the cathdral of shopping, in the south east. Sarah and Beth went shopping, while Tom, Joe and myself went to watch Racing Stripes at the cinema. The children then grabbed something to eat at various food outlets while Saah an myself enjoyed a curry when they were asleep.

Quite a good Saturday really.

Seems I missed this bit of news last week. The death of Bishop David Shepherd. There is an excellent page obituary in today’s Church Times.

Here was a hero who could teach today’s church many things. As we enter what is probably the most turbulent times the Anglican church worldwide has seen, we need sensible heroes like David Shepherd. Thankfully, I think Rowan Williams is one such hero.

Why do I think of David Shepherd as a hero? Simply because there was no division between his life and his ministry. One thing that stands out from his obituary is that he ignored ‘good advice’ and did what he saw as being biblically right. He did not worry about who he upset and regularly spoke out against politicians, most notably with Margaret Thatcher, and in my book that deserves a medal in itself!

One such example was in his time in the East End. Apart from moving into the area and setting up the Mayflower Centre he went against the advice of his vicar ‘to find any excuse you can to turn down invites to the christening or wedding parties’. He ‘forgot’ this as he knew that to share good news in the community that he needed to be part of the community – no wonder the church is so removed from society with thoughts like that being mainstream back in the 50’s!!

David Shepherd was a strong evangelical and yet one of the most remarkable relationships he had was with the Roman Catholic bishop of Liverpool, Archbishop Derek Warlock. These two men united together to tackle poverty and share Jesus in ‘their city’. They had differences but were strong and courageous enough to look above them to what united them.

If only people in authority in the Anglican church could do this now. As a member I have been completely frustrated over the last 15 or more years as I have seen our true missional focus watered down due to lack of momentum resulting from big efforts in arguing over theological differences over women priests, homosexuality, women bishops and now ECUSA and Canada. Yes, they are all important – but not AS important as presenting Jesus to the people of our communities. I pray that we can wake up soon.

I will not be leaving the Anglican church over gay bishops or women bishops – the thought to me is ridiculous! I am, however, finding it increasingly difficult to understand why I am part of a church where it seems more important to be right and prove others to be wrong, where it is more important to ‘out’ those we disagree with rather than love each other and encourage each other, where it is more important to maintain ‘traditional’ standards than care for the hurt, the broken, the poor. People say the above stuff is offensive. I find it offensive that they argue over stuff when people are dying without ever experiencing the love of Christ.

We need a David Shepherd type character today. As I said, I think Rowan Williams is one; I’m praying the new Archbishop of York, when announced, will be another so that, jointly, they can take us forward with integrity and courage.

There are plently of jokes around today but, sadly, the mechanic was being serious when he said my brakes on the car would cost £180 rather than the anticipated £60 – what a truly spiffing start to the weekend …. not!!

While feeling sorry for myself and grumbling away about the unfairness of God and the greed of car mechanics I fell upon Dave’s post for today which had be laughing hysterically in some places. He has posted a series of real life funnies, my favourite being:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that 3 year old Danny hadn’t asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said: No.” I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?” “No,” he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, “Danny, did you have an accident?” This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. “SEE MOM, ITS JUST FARTS!!” While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!

If you know Joseph, my youngest, you will understand why I relate to this so well!

Have a good evening – and give all your money to Comic Relief, they need it more than you do!

Today poverty will be on the agenda of many.

The chidren have gone to school today with funny noses, gelled hair and wearing various shades of red. So has Sarah as she is teaching today. I am the odd one out – not much point if you are sitting in the study alone all day! I guess I could go to the mirror and laugh at myself; but I do that regularly anyway.

I love and hate Comic Relief. Love it because it raises loads of money to make a difference. Hate it because it always makes me wish I could, and believe I should, be doing so much more, and quite often reduces me to tears. Both Joe and myself seem to have this ‘thing’ that if we see people crying on telly then we start to cry too.

I have found myself struggling a little recently with who and what I am ultimately called to. Maybe this started with Nouwens take on The Prodigal. I am a YFC worker and I do passionatly want to see young people become Christians. I have wanted to see them come in their hundreds for years, and still do, and the passion for this still drives me.

But I am noticing another passion that has always been there but maybe oppressed by my evangelical upbringing. I am noticing a new passion for the lost, a new passion for the poor and a new pasion to see poverty eradicated. I have a desire to make a concrete and practical difference in the lives of others.

This is hard to explain, it has always been there but it has always been accompanied in my mind with the beoming a Christian ‘thing’. The difference is that now I want to show God’s love without expecting any response back.

I wonder if that is very poor and un-evangelical of me? Wanting to help others and seeing their commitment to God as secondary to the relief of their situation. I do ind myself wondering, though, if this is not how Jesus acted?