Joe is 8 today.
Time seems to go quick, although if we look back loads has happened in the last 8 years.
Joe had a great day today and the toboganning and the snow tubing party was excellent!

I met with Don Brewin of SOMA today to talk about the intricacies of the team going to Kenya. The opportunity is great and spending time with youth workers in Kenya will be a real privilege.

But … the best way I can sum up my feelings at the moment are of total confusion – so if you have a spare moment please offer up a prayer for me!

Currently I am in this weird place where part of me wants to go and feels a little excited, (after all, who would not be excited over being invited to go to Kenya unexpectedly!)but a larger part of me feels uneasy and does not want to go at all. It’s weird as everyone seems to be totally convinced I should be going -everyone that is, apart from me.

To make things worse, the more I think, the more I feel I don’t wish to do this. Is this just a bad reaction to myself being taken right out of my comfort zone, or is this the prompting of the Spirit to stay put? Is my ‘not wanting to go’ a good enough reason for not going? Should the fact that I have been invited and have the time in my diary at least (well we never have the time for more stuff in reality!) and ability mean that I should go anyway?

Not to be flippant, but the words of that great Clash song come to mind; and trouble and double concern me!

Ah well … here’s back to more thinking – I think I have until Friday to make a final decision.

I used one of Mark’s excellent meditations tonight at SEITE training. Every so often we are asked to lead worship … in 12 minutes! I’m not sure that it is really possible to do so, but I stuck to my time limit and felt people were starting to engage. You can never be sure though as people then have to rush off to lectures.

It seems bizarre to me and feels like we are just playing lip service to God. Not that I am saying we need to worship for ages to commune with God, but I do think we need to allow God space and the be able to respond to that space. I don’t believe you can properly and adequately do that in 12 minutes when people have the pressure of getting to lecture rooms.

Tonight I wanted us to think about the dreams we had come to SEITE with, how they might be changing, what our dreams beyond SEITE might be. I wanted us to think about giving our dreams to God, abandoning ourselves to God and daring to believe that our dreams were his dreams. I wanted us to consider whether we are the only limiting factor in our dreams, refusing to fully grasp that they are indeed achievable. I suspect my ambitions were a bit high for 12 minutes.

Hopefully, though, people can continue the dream thinking at home away from lectures.

Beth has started blogging her poems again.

This poem of her’s is excellent.

Wow!
What a week.
Monday really set the scene for this week with 2 phonecalls which gave me a challenge.
One I have already spoken of which was a last minute interview.
That was easy.
The other scares me more!

Again, this was due to someone having to drop out of the team.
This was another phonecall inviting me to join a SOMA team going to Kenya, a town called Nyahururu, to take part in a youth leaders conference seeking to develop a strategy for the future youth work within the Anglican Church of Kenya. Amazingly over half of the Kenyan population is under 15! The team leaves for 9 days on 20th October!

I’m not sure what is happening here, but with this being half term, Sarah running a holiday club, and my diary being unusually empty for that 9 day period it seems that every excuse I come up with not to go is shot down in flames!

So … I’m meeting with the director of SOMA on Tuesday in London, but it does seem that. as things stand, I will be joining this team in just around 5 weeks time.

My reactions, feelings, thoughts …. in one word … terror, admittedly with a bit of excitement thrown in!

It looks like a great opportunity, and I think I can both give and receive (although I am wondering whether I can deliver training without my laptop, funny videos and fancy pictures!) So; it looks like I have 5 weeks to think about how this is going to pan out, what I am going to do … and get some wonderful injections sorted!

If only I hadn’t picked up the phone on Monday….!!

I had a few meetings in London today. More of seeing God in the busyness again, this time in the calming surroundings of Monmouth Coffee Company and The Sacred Cafe, the latter of which gives free wifi (which the spellchecker wants to keep changing to ‘wife’ – I wonder if they would get more punters of they advertised that?!)and is a great place to drink coffee. They had a few problems with the coffee machine while we were there, but it’s worth another visit.

Today we have talked mission, funding bids, caught up, shared plans.
Lots of talking, lots of dreaming – now we just got to make things happen!

The downside today was experiencing selfishness on the tube.
I’m trying to walk a lot around London for fitness reasons, but today due to developing and unfolding conversations I needed to catch the tube twice. On both occasions seeing young men in suits taking up ‘priority’ seats while old men and struggling pregnant women and young parents with unhappy children stand was shocking. The guys pretended not to notice and even ignored requests to move. How sad times are becoming!

This is a disgrace!
So is this!
Why are we not surprised by this piece of news?
Hasn’t Bush had enough of war yet?

Sarah has presented me with a new challenge as part of the youth team. As from today I am the virtual youth worker. The picture shows my chill out/chat/discussion/doss room that will meet over at the Habbo Hotel.

I first came across Habbo from Andy’s blog when he ran regular chats there a couple of years ago. I’d forgotten about it until Sarah presented me with this challenge. I have had quite a bit of fun the last few days visiting different rooms and seeing how the whole thing works.

Well, the room is up, its decorated, furnished, even a bottle to spin and candles to light – and there is me, Father Rob, giving you a wave … on my own! Yep in true youth work style the first and grand opening of the Landmark Virtual Chill was attended by me and no one else. I had a virtual no show, which means it never really happened, and so I was not really stood up, and so I don’t feel bad at all.

The last day or so as a few last minute things came up. A friend needed a chat ‘last minute’ about something, Radio Kent needed an interview as a well known local bishop needed to be elsewhere ‘last minute’. I joined Phil Green to talk about Essential, and for you early birds it will be broadcast at around 7.10 am on Sunday. I won’t be listening!

I have also been invited somewhere (which I may blog about tomorrow)as someone has dropped out ‘last minute’ and today I got to the train ‘last minute’ after a meeting in London to be able to get home in time.

Seems to me that last minute stuff can be quite exciting if a little stressful and surprising.

This morning we met in a noisy room in the middle of London. There was no air conditioning so the windows were open. We were asked to still ourselves and cut out the noise of the traffic, the noise of the fans … etc. etc.

That was ok for most people, but to be honest I feel that, for me, at the moment I am meeting and seeing God in the noise and the busy-ness of life. I am meeting God in the hassles of living a last minute.com lifestyle. I love silence and retreat; but at this moment in my journey I am being challenged and inspired by experiencing the lastminute.com expression of God.

I must also add here, as a personal opinion, or rather a question … why is it that we have come to believe that the best way of experiencing God is in ‘the still small space’? Surely we can also experience God inthe vibrancy of a 21st century urban lifestyle – if not then what hope is there for many of us?

In many ways it is easier, getting used to last minute means I do not need to worry about (lack of) patience.

Tomorrow I am off to London again, so more last minute lifestyle stuff!

I blogged earlier in the year here after spending a day in Maidstone with Brian McLaren.

The mp3s of his talks and the Power Point presentations can now be downloaded from the website. I’d be quick if interested as I’m not sure how long they will be there for.