Author Archives: robryan65

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About robryan65

fallible human, like a phoenix runner spouse, father, grandpa, Jesus lover, creative, real ale, rum and malt whisky drinker dancing - expressing only personal views.

How do we do this?

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img_0211So I have lived here at GMV for around 16 month now. I am nearly half way through my contract … 3 years was always a crazy timescale to get something new happening here, but we are running with it and trusting God.

A large part of the last year has seen me doing a lot of observing and watching. Those of you that have travelled with me on this blog will know that I learned at Rochester that it was important to wait and properly listen, rather than do what churches have often done in the past … and offer something that they think is needed (which in my experience is often some manufactured generic thing that works elsewhere)  which fails because it is far removed from what the people are looking for in reality.

I have seen lots of ‘projects’ done to people or answers being given to questions that the local people are not asking … and I have felt strongly that we did not wish to be like that.

I have listened for a year.
I have had many conversations asking 3 questions …. what do you like about living here?, what frustrates you about living here?, and what is lacking here? Questions that were put together in a meeting with great people at Livability.
The locations for those conversations have been limited and restricted mainly to the coffee shop, residents meetings and the bus stop. One fact that has prevented me from meeting more people is the sheer lack of community space that there is here … there is a great coffee shop … and the is kind of it.

So what have I learned?
A lot of people feel lonely and even more, nearly half interviewed, believe there is no community feel here.
It is easy to dismiss those findings and say there is stuff here as someone bluntly pointed out to me around a year ago when I started this survey … but if people are saying this is lacking then we need to respond.

So … I guess my question has adapted from a year ago in my dream for Holy Trinity here.
I came asking how do we bless the community and get involved here …. I’m now asking how can we partner with others to develop a stronger community feel here so that when the survey is repeated that ‘community feel’ is an overwhelming positive rather than a demoralising lacking.

It seems. however, that new builds like ours, and in which I currently live, are not primarily designed with community in mind. They are, maybe, designed with privacy as a motivation. I am an outgoing person but see very few people in my block of 16 apartments and only know 3 other names of people sharing my front door. I met an elderly  couple who told me they have lived here for 10 years and only know the neighbours that share their landing … but that they only come across them 2 or 3 times a year.

I get the privacy thing.
I understand people getting home from a day in the city and the last thing they want is a knock on the front door.
There are times I come home and really don’t want to see or talk to anyone.
But to do that continually, and if that becomes a pattern, do we then start to fool ourselves that our own company, rather than community, is what we want?
Because … if we do … I am not sure that is a good thing for our basic humanity.

Ian talks about an energy deficit model which I think may shed some light here. It goes something like this:
People feel they have only a limited amount of energy. This energy is then used wisely with people feeling they have to conserve energy for work and essential tasks. This means that when invited somewhere, like a community meal or a drink out for example, they feel they don’t have the energy and so decline. On the occasions they go for the meal or drink they realise by the end of it that they are energised and it was actually what they needed. I believe this is because we are created to be in community, not hiding away in apartments.
Sadly I feel this model is quite evident here … and that when people do attend, they do get that energy burst, but then easily forget about it as the real city life world comes crashing in again.

Maybe we need to vie things differently? From a different perspective? By turning things upside down?

So … people also living in other gated communities in cities …
How do we grow community?
How do we encourage people to interact together?
How do we remind people that its better for their energy levels to be in community
How do we live as fully as possible in places which seem to be designed to hide or protect us from each other ….
and to protect us from what?!

So …. just …. ‘HOW?”

Feel free to answer … or comment … or anything really!

The door

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The Door – a poem by Miroslav Holub from Ricardo Serrano on Vimeo.

During the last year of toughness and door pushing, alongside words from the gospels and good friends encouragements …. I have returned to this poem a few times which I know I have written about before.

This has become one of my favourite poems and ‘accidentally’ finding this beautifully read version on Vimeo has been a great discovery!

Holub urges us to open the door, because when we open doors we never what we will find on the other side …. and at the very least …. there will be a refreshing breeze.

Go listen …. I love this poem which I first discovered in Staying Alive … worth lots of reading
I love it’s simplicity which, is paradoxically, quite complex!
(I can talk shit too!)

The words ….

Go and open the door.
Perhaps outside there is
a tree or a forest
or a garden
or an enchanted city.
Go and open the door.
If there was only
the ticking darkness
if there was only
the empty wind
or if there was
absolutely
nothing,
go and open the door.

Go and open the door.
Perhaps a dog is scraping there.
Perhaps a face is there,
or an eye,
or the image
of an image.
Go and open the door.
If there is mist there
it will clear away.

At least
there’ll be

a draught.

 

Go on … open the door!
Maybe together …. ?

 

slithers of hope

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dp1783759It’s been a long time
A very long time
So long that I forgot that I used to have
A blog

I guess it is fair to say the year has been
tough
interesting
hard work … yes …
with ideas not germinating
and dreams not blooming
and yet

yet

I know I am here
I know I am supposed to be here
I know God has called me here
for now
for such a moment as this
to be a blessing
and
I hope
to be blessed

the last few days have seen
excitement
interesting slithers of light
all radiating suddenly at once
standing to attention
and scooting out hastily from dark crevasses
like Attenborough’s racer snakes
or maybe a shooting star
or even the insuppressible sunrise
always there
FULL of potential
but waiting
and holding breath
until the right time to appear

Is now that time?

I have now been here for 16 months and now, only now, after 16 months of listening and hearing what people are saying and building trust with people are we boldly but carefully moving forward with some ideas.

Our survey shows that loneliness, stress and  community feel are real and live issues for people here … and so we need to ask the question … how can we respond to that …. is there anything we can do to help with community feel, to help dispel loneliness and to help people with stress levels.

Early in the New Year we will be offering free Mindfulness Meditation classes and a great wellbeing course called The Happiness Course.

Sound intriguing or interested …?
If so give us / me a shout!

18 years …. wow!

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14317613_533551443508902_6302934151694198433_nToday is another one of those days when you truly question ‘where on earth has that time gone?’ For today, this very day,  Joseph, my youngest child, turns that massive milestone of being 18 years old.bad-hair-day

The strange thing is, and this has been identical with all my children, I can remember the birth as if it were yesterday. It sounds a cliche, but it is true. It was a bright sunny Sunday morning … (all our children were helpfully born at the weekend, all before the times of paternity rights and so, at most, I was given 2 days off).fishing-7joe-worship

On this particular Sunday I remember the sun shining through the windows of the bedroom, the smell of coffee, the midwife appearing, and her placing Joe in my arms as she took Sarah off for a bath. I remember I had this little conversation where I simply let Joe know how pleased I was to meet him. I have been pleased to see him every day since that time. He just always brings a smile to my face.

It has been amazing to watch my son grow up in to the dsc_0335amazing, funny, witty, intelligent (and sometimes frustrating) handsome man that he is today. I admire his courage and his desire to live life in such a way that he will not look back and have regrets.

Joe … you have made me incredibly proud over and over again, and I kind of know that will just continue … love you loads … celebrate well! (apologies for the pics … no doubt you’ll get me later today for that!)

Guest lists and Pilgrims

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At 18:01 this evening we thought about what hospitality is and how we practice that in a  21st century London setting (podcast here11111). I kind of felt that Jesus was suggesting that the guest list is far more important than any menu. During our discussion we wondered if the reading for tonight (Luke 14:7-14) was wider than hospitality and encompassed more of ensuring that people felt accepted and valued in a way that showed that we saw and acknowledged their value. The discussion was a good one and I think we went away inspired to make a bot of a difference in our immediate spheres of influence.

Tonight was even ore special, though, as we prayed for Barbara who temporarily leaves us for three months as she fulfils a lifelong ambition and does a bit of a world travel, visiting 10 countries and only staying in one place for around three days.

You can keep up to date with Barbara’s experiences by visiting her blog here. I’m really looking forward to reading something of her experiences.

As part of our service tonight we gathered around Barbara and prayed a blessing. we used and adapted ‘For the Traveller’ by John O’Donohue which I found in A Book of Blessings – well worth purchasing!

To send Barbara off we used these word tonight:

For the Traveler

Every time you leave home,
Another road takes you
Into a world you were never in.

New strangers on other paths await.
New places that have never seen you
Will startle a little at your entry.
Old places that know you well
Will pretend nothing
Changed since your last visit.

When you travel, you find yourself
Alone in a different way,
More attentive now
To the self you bring along,
Your more subtle eye watching
You abroad; and how what meets you
Touches that part of the heart
That lies low at home:

How you unexpectedly attune
To the timbre in some voice,
Opening in conversation
You want to take in
To where your longing
Has pressed hard enough
Inward, on some unsaid dark,
To create a crystal of insight
You could not have known
You needed
To illuminate
Your way.

When you travel,
A new silence
Goes with you,
And if you listen,
You will hear
What your heart would
Love to say.

A journey can become a sacred thing:
Make sure, before you go,
To take the time
To bless your going forth,
To free your heart of ballast
So that the compass of your soul
Might direct you toward
The territories of spirit
Where you will discover
More of your hidden life,
And the urgencies
That deserve to claim you.

May you travel in an awakened way,
Gathered wisely into your inner ground;
That you may not waste the invitations
Which wait along the way to transform you.

May you travel safely, arrive refreshed,
And live your time away to its fullest;
Return home more enriched, and free
To balance the gift of days which call you.

 

Go well Barbara, we look forward to welcoming you back in December!

shared stories

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img_0503-1Tonight was the first Agapai for a couple of weeks.
We saw 4 people  and we shared what God was doing, prayed together, ate together and finished by sharing bread and wine together with some simple words.

I enjoy meeting, listening and eating.
There is very little planning (other than the menu!) involved
It seems such a natural thing for friends and community to do together.
I mean … we all have to eat right?  … so why not get together with friends and eat and pray together.

We have a core group of around 4 for Agapai.
I hope this grows over this next few months.
I pray that new people, those seeking community, will join us to share their stories and to pray and eat.

Tonight we shared a variety of stories, and fears, and hopes … and we prayed together before sharing bread and wine.
I felt it was a privilege to be involved tonight.
See you next week maybe?

Released!?

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antigua sun_edited-1On Sunday at 18:01 I spoke about the woman was released from being crippled from Luke 13 … twice! Once in the morning at Christ Church East Greenwich and then again in the evening at 18:01 at HTGP. Due to holidays and time off I had written my homily/talk/sermon before going away as I was returning to the parish the day before speaking.

I always challenge myself when speaking to find something new, some new approach to what I have read in the Gospel text. I was approaching the story this time from a viewpoint of staring at feet as symbolic of being self obsessed. A problem with writing so far in advance is that inevitably stuff happens in the world which can’t be ignored. While I stuck to plan with the CC congregation in the morning with the HTGP ‘crowd’, the people I have got to know better, I could not ignore the worlds news.

I had prepared a talk on the crippled woman. How being so bent over she had become in her own world, bemused by what was happening around her. I had planned to speak about how she never even noticed Jesus but was released by him. I had wanted to ask what we are being bent double by, I was wanting to ask what is it that causes us to stare at our feet  and be so self absorbed in our own world that we don’t notice or take it what is going on around us.

I was planning to ask those questions until my various screens were filled with the image of Omran Dagneesh. The image of innocence and bewilderment caused me to cry. The image of a child silent amid screaming mayhem erupting all around him filled me with such sadness, but with a sadness that cried out ‘we must stop this!’

Syria has been in the news a long time and I am shamed to say that I had become desensitised to the news. While people are being bombed each day and the image of Omran is a daily occurrence for people there … we cannot allow ourselves the luxury of switching channels and forgetting.

On Sunday I had to speak about Omran Dagneesh. I had to ask the question of what we, as HTGP, could do. We all agreed that we cannot just stand by and do nothing any longer.

On Sunday evening I guess I went back to a more ‘trad’ interpretation of the gospel story. The woman, like Omran, was totally bemused. The woman, like Omran, was crippled and in pain from a reaction to her environment. The woman, like Omran, was broken, trapped and needing lifting out of that situation.

But … the woman, unlike Omran, was released by Christ.

I don’t know what we as HTGP can do. Loads of charities want money. WE can easily write a cheque but that does not seem enough. I don’t want to write a cheque (though I have) because I want to do something that costs me. It is quite easy to send money and feel our job is done.

We have contacted a few charities working in the area to see how we can support. We are waiting to see how that might pan out. If anyone has suggestions or links please let us know. What we do know, though, is that as Christ’s hands and feet … an interpretation of the gospel story for us is that we need to attempt to be like Jesus and help to release those who need releasing.

it’s been a year!

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IMG_2293I have now been here a year …. here being  …. Holy Trinity Greenwich Peninsula
I am a third of the way through my contract …. I have no idea if funding will be available at the end of the 3 years  …. the area is a total nightmare to link with people …. sometimes I think people don’t even want us here ….particularly those that have a bad image of (maybe poor) models of church … (horrible unchristian stuff like this masquerading as genuine Christianity does not help!)  but ….. BUT …. it seems that God does want us here .. at least for he moment!

Working in a place like this is hard. People hide behind intercoms and security gates …70% of people are on 6 to 12 month rental contracts so turnover is high …. this may mean some don’t wish to start to put roots or add to community as they see their presence as transitory ….  but all need to know that God is with them. We are not there yet in how we show this, maybe not even close, but there will be a way! I believe there is a real need to crack this! And by crack this … I mean to show that ‘church’ is something that can be helpful, that can help people and community grow, that can bless people in their everyday lives …. I’m not talking about trying to convert or coerce people …. but rather develop a church that can and does make a difference and is seen as a real positive, wanted  and wholesome part of local community.  

I have no idea what is going to happen this year …. but I have returned with some new ideas of ways forward. We will try them and see what happens. I will continue to be a presence, but we will continue, also, to seek ways that we can make a difference both in our local community and maybe further afield.

When I moved here a year ago I said I was looking for people to birth and grow a new way of being church with me. Some of those people have appeared .. but I believe there are others I have not met yet … so if you are reading this and think ‘maybe’ or if you know anyone in the Greenwich area … put us in touch!

 

angry …

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anger_by_liza23q-d7ejepxI have not blogged for a while … and not really said much publicly about Thursdays elections.

It seems argument after argument is still coming on social media. I, along with many others, was indirectly told to stop posting stuff in a generic ‘stop whinging’ type post and grow up … only to then receive in my news feed from the same ‘stop whinging’ people post after post of silly stuff like ‘if England lose the match on Monday night can we play again if we don’t like the result’.

So remainers are not allowed to whinge, but outers can post ridiculing posts. Why draw attention to this … ?
Someone recently, well on the actual morning of the vote result, reminded me that I am a priest and that I needed to be about reconciliation. I also had scripture quoted at me but no response when I gave counter scripture showing ‘anger’ was ok, particularly righteous anger.

I do believe the country needs reconciliation … and I do believe as a priest I should help that in my community … but at the moment I can not.
At the moment I am still angry …. not at those who voted out because we are in a  democracy and we all have a  right to opinion and are free to vote as we choose.
I am angry over how people are being treated.

On Friday I spoke to three dear friends who were crying over the vote. Crying because  this vote has dramatically changed their lives.
I am angry because I know of teachers who have had to comfort children in their classes who have heard that they are no longer welcome here in the UK.
I am angry over how the vote has been an excuse to gang up on individuals who are trying to cause change for the better.
I am angry over the countless stories of violence towards people in this country since the vote outlined here.
I am angry because decent humans who felt this was their home last week now feel homeless, unwanted and scared.
I am angry … and that is ok for the time being!
Please stop telling me to be involved in reconciliation … that will come … but first …something more needs to happen.

Before reconciliation these things, the divisions we have tried to ignore, our opinions …. everything we value about our lives and how we live together as decent human beings needs to be talked about. Things need to be expressed and heard.

I could ramble but my now retired Suffragen Bishop (when I was in Rochester Diocese) , Bishop Brian, writes so much better here …. a great article from an amazing man and one that we should read and take to heart of we really want to move forward.

Trinity Language

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Last night Holy Trinty celebrated their Patronal Festival. I was encouraged as there was a good turn out staying in double figures and we had some visitors. After sharing words, stories and Eucharist we celebrated with cake and champagne. I enjoyed the opportunity, as well, to hear someone else’s take on The Trinity and Alistair did a good job of getting us to think about relationship rather than explanations. I also thought I need to get more people to give the homily (but that’s a mother subject).

I had some difficulty writing and preparing liturgy for last nights service. Essentially I have ensured with stuff I write that I use inclusive language. I understand how either ‘Father’ and ‘Mother’ are not always easy terms for helping people connect with God. For some, like myself, neither label is great as both are quite empty ‘labels’ for me.

For some while I have related to the labels of Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer or Companion. People in gatherings and communities that I have been involved in also seem to relate well to this sort of language.

But in my preparation for last nights service I suddenly started to have a hassle with this.

While contemplating the subject for the service I was hit quite massively by a feeling that however we describe ‘The Trinity’ is, the Trinity screams of relationship. Not just relationship but a mutually giving and receiving relationship. As I followed this thinking I became aware that whereas Father, Son, Spirit talks of relationship, my prefered descriptions of Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer talk of role. I am not sure but I think that takes something away from our understanding. Trinity is about mutually giving, receiving and accepting relationship … But I feel a great lack in being able to express that in a helpful and meaningful way.

As I wrote words for us to say I tried parent, mother/father, begetter, pro creator … But all sounded hollow, false and just too clunky. Finally I followed a traditional route of Father, Son, Spirit and although not entirely happy (particularly as father for myself equates to an overriding double rejection) as I am not sure that is the best we can offer in helping people reconnect with their Creator.

I wonder … Is anyone out there tussling with this at the moment? Any ideas, pointers or suggestions?