Today has been one of those slower reflective days. A walk with the dog this morning, and then an hours drive to the Sisters of St Andrew helped me prepare mentally for my time with Sister Diane, my spiritual director. The deal is pretty much that I talk … and so I needed to think about what I wanted to talk about!
Having an hour with Sister Diane every 6 weeks or so is something that I really appreciate and value. She, like any good spiritual director, listens to a lot of what I say with an enquiring ear and gets me to wonder, or hear, what God may be saying amongst the stress and crap (sometimes) of what is going on. (Life is more of the confusing crappy stuff than the exciting stuff just at this point of time!) She helps me see things in a very different light.
The room pictured is the room we meet in. It is a calm comfortable space where both words and silence seem to be both accepted, nourished and welcome. As Sister Diane says, there is no agenda, the space is here for us to use as we see fit.
Today I was able to reflect over the last few weeks. The highs of Antigua, the lows of an uncertain future, the struggles of wondering what to do next and the frustration of feeling that people really don’t ‘get it’! (That does not mean people don’t … just that I feel they don’t; two different things!). Amazingly, through each of these, after my time at Edenbridge, I am starting to tune into what God may be up to. I’m not there yet – but I can see a way forward, whereas beforehand I was fairly blind to that.
One little exercise that Sister Diane offered was to read the lectionary text for tomorrow before I go to sleep, and then to pick this up again in my head as I pray on the dog walk the next morning. That’s an interesting idea that I am going to give a go over the next few weeks. Tomorrows Psalm is 37 and verses 3 – 8 seem to talk powerfully into my situation at present. As I walk tomorrow morning I shall carry these words in my head:
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;
Do not fret—it only causes harm.
Tomorrow I will try not to fret!