It’s been quiet in my blog world due to a number of things – a holiday (which I am still in!) after Easter and the necessity of using spare time to get to grips with an essay to be handed in on Friday.

For the last few months I have done a good amount of background reading and so when I came to start writing the thing yesterday the words seemed to flow pretty quickly and the task is now done. Whether it is any good I don’t know, but if nothing else it has succeeded in what I believe to be its aim, that of getting me to reflect on what I am called to do, who I am and what all this ordination stuff means.

This reflection was fueled by events on Maundy Thursday at the cathedral when all ministers came together to renew their vows and receive the oils of healing, baptism and chrism to use in their parishes if they wished.

During the service certain sections of people were asked to re-affirm their promises. First layworkers, then deacons, then priests and then the bishops. One of my colleagues was shocked when he realised he was one of the few priests that re-affirmed his deacon vows. We chatted about this and he rightly said but all ordained people are deacons, we were deacons first and stay deacons and need to reaffirm our vows as deacons even more so when we become priests. (not his exact words but my interpretation). My ordination as a priest in June does not cancel out my ordination as a deacon.

Earlier in the year I remember disagreeing strongly with someone who suggested that the real ordination was the ‘priesting’ not the deaconing. Using the same rationality of my colleague I was stunned as I firmly believe ordination to be about serving as Jesus served and seeking to be a blessing in the area we are called to serve. I feel if we lose this focus then we are on very shaky and dangerous ground. For me, ordination only works if it is about putting ourselves out to serve rather than to be looked up to due to some title.

In my research I have found that Steven Croft agrees with us (or is it us with him?) and I quote:‘in the popular understanding of ordination, the diaconate is seen as a temporary state, passed through on the way to becoming a priest’ but ‘the call to the diaconate is ‘the deepest and most profound honour and commission which the church can bestow.’ (Steven Croft Ministry in Three Dimensions (DLT 2008))

As I listen to people share their stories I am becoming more and more aware of what an honour this role is. Please pray that I and my fellow deacons can retain this perspective and that next year, when we attend our first maundy Thursday service as priests are willing and able to reaffirm our deaconate vows as well.