Today I start with 10 others on the retreat before ordination.

I feel quite strange, nervous even, which has come as a bit of a surprise.
I am nervous about what is going to happen on retreat, I am nervous about the reality of this step and feel totally inadequate for the task ahead of me.

The retreat is being held at The Sisters of St Andrew in Edenbridge. I will join this community today and then then not see my family again until we all meet up for lunch with the Bishop of Rochester on Saturday afternoon before the ordination service in the cathedral.

The program looks good as we have five sessions looking at Philippians with a sub title of ‘Models from a missionary pioneer and master pastor’, although I hope the bar is not set too high as I feel very lacking already!

I doubt the sisters will have a wifi connection – but if they do I will possibly be blogging about my experiences, although to keep in the spirit of retreat I will not be answering emails, replying to comments or visiting facebook.

As I look ahead for these next 4 days I continue to feel apprehensive, not just about the rereat and ordination, but also as I feel I am pretty much presenting myself to the Trinitarian God in a way that I do not think I have done before and so I couple that with a desire to look for what God will be doing and saying.