It’s been an unusual day. The kids have been moody, both my kids and those in school. I have felt weird and have struggled to do stuff today in a consistent way.
This morning I met with my SEITE consultant which was a good use of an hour. He is very supportive and has some good suggestions.
Following that I came home and did a bit more work before going to a meeting at a local school which had o be cancelled sue to one thing and another. This is always annoying, but I did get to say goodbye to a good friend instead while I was there who is moving on to new stuff.
The big mixed feeling thing today is hearing that Kim is back in hospital and so I have cancelled my one meeting tomorrow with Phil (sorry mate!)as I just feel that I need to be there and standing alongside them. As another good friend pointed out, I don’t need to go and do anything, as there is nothing I can do, but I just need to be there, to kind of stand with them.
I had a talk earlier in the week with someone who had the attitude of ‘God works through all things for the good’. I wanted to strangle him! I’m struggling with that at the moment, and to think that God is allowing this for some good to happen certainly would indicate a kind of sick natured God. How possibly can any good come out of a beautiful 28 year old girl dying from cancer?
I don’t believe in a sick God, so I have to conclude that God is not ‘allowing’ this to happen anyway. Instead, in some ways, God could not prevent this from happening. I don’t know what that means other than there are things that happen that God cannot take the pain away from, but what God can do is stand with us, and through that standing with us it gives us a strong sense of inner strength as we learn or realise that we are not alone and abandoned. God hurts with us, cried with us, stands with us.
I wonder if God chooses to limit himself through the constraints of what God has created. When God created the world, God created the physical laws. Creation has to work within these physical walls and God chooses to himself. This means that instead of an aloof God, a God that is miles ‘up there’, or a God that is disinterested and distanced that instead we have a God who is personal, a God who is present, A God who experiences pain.
The crucifixion shows us that God experiences pain, that pain still continues as he stands alongside Kim and those that love her.
I’m not sure if that is right, theologically sound, or close on heresy – but at the moment, where I am at this present time, how I am feeling, that is what my thoughts are.
As I said, I am off to Weymouth tomorrow, so if you get an odd moment please offer up a prayer as I’m not totally discounting a miracle, but as time goes on my faith in seeing one is diminishing quite rapidly.
The Shiny Headed Prophet 
Nope…I think that’s spot on, and much more theolgically sound than God allowing it to happen in order for good. That IS NOT a God of Love. Tony Campolo in “Speaking My Mind” describes it in terms the 2nd WW. The Crucifixion was D-Day…the defeat that turned the tide. It wasn’t the end, and there were many defeats before it was all over…but one thing was inevitable…the Nazi’s would lose.In this case, Jesus has defeated Satan, death, suffering, pain etc etc, but it will have its victories before the final victory.In the meantime, I believe that God is there right beside us, agonising, crying, breaking apart because His creation is suffering, but knows that It Is ultimately finsihed.That’s the hope that we have in the gospel, not that GOd’s in control of pain etc and that He will bring good out of it, but that there will be no more crying, no more tears, no more death, no more suffering. As we struggle through this world we experience God’s love in the now, in that he is with us through suffering, and the not yet…that He will bring this to a perfect conclusion.