Have you ever considered that you are called to be the father? I think that is the main message of Nouwens book; we may have attributes of both the younger and older sons, but our ultimate calling, the character we should aspire to be, is that of the father.

The father in this parable, and so obviously in my mind from the painting (the body language and face say it all) is just so desperate for his children to be free, especially free to love. To allow this, however, the father needs to take a risk and realise that there is a possibility of rejection and leaving; as we see with the younger brother. The father knows that the freedom to leave will cause pain; but he also knows without the freedom then eternal destiny, rather than short term pain, is the cost.

For the first time, as I look at this parable I find myself questioning something I have always, as an evangelical, firmly believed. The notion of an all powerful father God. The father in this parable is powerless to prevent his son leaving despite the pain he knows the son will endure. The actual power of God’s love, here, seems to make him powerless to act to prevent something happening which he knows will cause pain and hurt.

Can the notion of a God that loves us so much that sometimes he is powerless to act really be a truth? Can this be accurate? I do not know. It would certainly explain some of the stuff that happens to ‘good people’ in the world.

I have heard this explained away – God is all powerful and so chooses not to act. In the pain we learn stuff. If that is the case then surely he is not all loving. How can a loving father sit back and allow pain and suffering to innocent people just so they will learn some lesson. Certainly I am happier to have a God that is not all powerful and is all loving rather than one who is not all loving yet all powerful.

Indeed, I find myself thinking that all powerfulness and all lovingness are incompatible. In love we are vulnerable. To love fully requires full vulnerability. Surely complete vulnerability and complete power cannot exist together in my Father God.

I don’t know the answer, and yet it is sparking an interesting thought process within me.

There is so much here about the father.

Rembrandt and Nouwen clearly allude to the father AND mother side of God. I never have wondered why so many in church react to this statement. Genesis clearly states ‘He made them in the image of himself, male and female he made them. The painting has a clearly masculine and feminine hand. This father, my God, is very much mother and father. The perfect accepting all loving parent.

Wheras the older son is screwing himself up by comparing himself, the father does not even dream of comparing. He loves both his sons completely and individually. He makes no comparisons and responds with spontaneous love to both of his boys. This ‘non-comparing’ love is associated with the character of a mother.

My son-mother relationship is poor so maybe that is why I have great difficulty, if I am honest, with the non-comparison love of God. In Nouwens own words, ‘I am convinced that many of my emotional problems would melt as snow in the sun if I could let the truth of God’s motherly non-comparing love permeate my heart’

Taking this in, and dwelling on Nouwens thoughts on God challenge me strongly on wrongly ideals. Often, in my life, I have wondered how can I know God more and how can I love God more. I am starting to see this for the self centred rubbish that it is. I need to be asking how can I let myself be known by God and hhow can I let myself be loved by God. Surely this is what I mean when I say ‘God, its not about me, its all about you.’

It all boils down to a simple statement. Can I accept that God would look out and run towards me just to spend some time with me? The sad truth is – ‘not always, no!’But the exciting news is I can say yes more often today than I could last year.