There are many questions ‘out there’ that make for an interesting discussion. They are not important, they are not central to my faith, but they do interest me all the same. Questions like ‘Was Jesus married?’ ‘What was Paul’s thorn in the flesh?’ ‘Did Jesus visit England?’, or, the one I’ve been thinking about recently; ‘How did Joseph feel?’

We are able to read quite a lot about Mary. She shared excitedly with Elizabeth, she had the sensation of the child growing inside her, the shock of seeing Gabriel, the actual birth and the fact that ‘she stored all this memories in her heart’.

Joseph, on the other hand, we hear very little about. Clearly he did not believe the story that Mary told him. ‘I’m pregnant but I’m still a virgin. It’s a gift from God’. mmmmm, you have to admit that yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah it could be a typical story spun by Vicki Pollard!

I am a dad. A three times dad. I was there at each of the births and can remember each one clearly as if it were yesterday. Each one was different. I clearly recall the hours we waited in Bristol Royal Infirmary as Sarah was in labour and we wandered around corridors to try and speed Tom up. Contrast this with the stress created by the rush back from a wildlife park and the midwife turning up at home only 10 minutes before Beth was born. Contrast that again with the relaxed and calm birth of Joe in our home with 2 midwifes calmly floating around the house.

I remember the different first words I said to each of my children as I held them in my arms for the very first time. Each time I felt a rush of joy, of amazement at the beautiful gift God had given us and complete thankfulness that Sarah and the baby were both fine.

I remember my big fears. Will I be able to love this child? Will the child like me? Will Sarah and the child be ok? How will we cope? And then the questions: what will they be like? How will they grow up? How can I help them best? Will they believe? Those questions never go.

Not once did I think, ‘been there done that!’ Each birth was a unique event in itself.

As a father I try to relate to Joseph in this story. But, of course, he is not the father. At best he is a step father. A stand in for someone else who could not bring up the child.

I wonder f Joseph ever believed what Mary said. Certainly the bible passage could be read as saying that after he had the dream from God he just did as he was told. He was a man of God and recognised the voice of God. He did it, but it does not mean he liked it!

He must have experienced great joy and excitement – a birth can leave you with nothing else. Along with this though, he must have had great doubts. Doubts about who the father was. Doubts about the honesty of his wife – maybe she was the next Gomer? Doubts about how others would treat him – others would know, working out the maths would not be that difficult!

With all this, I tend to think that Joseph deserves, and in fact his character deserves, our respect. In the face of all that should have made him run away, he decided to trust and stay. He decided to stick by Mary and support her. He decided to make a home for our Lord.

Seems like he put the needs of everybody else before himself and I wonder if Jesus learned that bit of his character from his step dad.