I wish to start with a little personal story. I have been director of GYFC for around 8 years. With the 2 years planning prior to this, GYFC has been a major part of my life for a decade. Last year I thought to myself that I can’t do this for ever and so started to look around and think what next.

I saw a Canterbury Diocesan Youth Oficer post. I thought, I like the look of that and of course thought I was perfect for the job (as you do!). I put together a good application; and I mean good! It was superb; not only was I the answer to all Canterbury’s youth work problems but the new Archbishop would most certainly want to have someone like me on his team. (that’s sarcasm!)

I was short listed, offered an interview and that’s when the fun started! Sleepless nights. Loss of appetite. Uncontrollable tears at embarrassing times. Feeling sick in the morning – I wondered if I might actually be pregnant! This went on for a week! On the morning of the interview I spiritualised all these feelings, said ‘well, God obviously does not want me to do this’ and I pulled out of the interview.

But I do not think that was the real issue. The real issue was that the thought of me leaving GYFC actually crippled me. I tried to hide from the fact but it soon became clear that to me that I was open to God’s call … as long as it was with GYFC.

I believe I had allowed my personal identity and calling to become so intertwined with GYFC that I was actually terrified of what would remain of me, if anything, if I left. Mixed with that was a mass of arrogance and pride – after all in Medway circles GYFC is well thought of and because of that I am known, I am a somebody, a person who others want advice from and who they wish to be associated with. A move away from GYFC would mean becoming a nobody and having to start all over again. It does not take a genius to work out that that is a pretty unhealthy state to be in.

The acknowledgment of my identity mess shook me massively and I could see there was only one way to deal with this – to properly open myself again to God and his word. Over the last year I have looked at God’s call. How he calls, what he calls us to; and I think I have discovered some exciting things. It has become quite a liberating experience for me and I do believe I stand here today very different from this time one year ago.

2 Peter 1 v 3 says …’He has called us to receive his own glory and goodness’ God has called us to receive from him so that we can develop a life of moral excellence; or a godly lifestyle. God has called us to receive – not to do!

From looking at the issue of guidance, or calling, in the bible I wonder if we, as Christians, have got it a bit wrong. When we look at guidance or calling usually we are thinking of a role, a task, a job or a ministry. Something to do. Something to work at. Some decision to make.

I do not think God is that worried about what we do, rather it is who we are that really excites him!

We have, as Christians, fallen into the western trap of a person’s identity and value being dependant on what they do. Wherever you are, whenever you meet people, one of the first questions will be ‘What do you do?’ I’m fortunate, however, in that I drive an Avensis and, as the advert says, nothing needs to be said! Seriously, it is a trap that seems contrary to how God views us.

If you undertake a study of the words lead and guide in the bible they rarely seem to refer to tasks or roles such as ‘which job’, ‘which house’ or ‘which husband or wife’. The meaning that we usually associate to those words. Again and again they are used in the context of leading god’s people in lifestyle:

Ps 23: 3 he guides me in paths of righteousness for his names sake

Ps 25: 9 he guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way

Prov4:11 I guide you in the way of wisdom, and lead you along straight paths

Lk 1: 79 Jesus guides our feet into the path of peace

Tit1:1 talks of the knowledge of truth that leads to godliness

God calls us to live. (Jn. 10:10) God calls us to live, to be, to holiness. We are, after all, called human beings and not human doings!

God calls us to be. What does that mean? I think that means we have to stop worrying about what we do, (or what we are called to do) and focus more on who we are called to be. The type of person God has created us to be.

(The Last Samurai illustration where Tom Cruise is asked to focus ‘one mind’ rather than worry about stuff going on around).

When we worry about lots of things we get confused. If we focus on who we are called to be, the other things seem to follow.

I have pretty much come to the conclusion that God does not care what we do. I think sometimes we stress over this or that decision and God kinda smiles and says ‘whatever’ because I will bless you in either! So that I don’t put God in a box there are exceptions when sometimes God says I want this particular person to go this place and this appointed time, Saul, Moses and Jonah immediately spring to mind.

Looking at the early church missionaries, though, things do seem to be different. When Jesus sent out the 72 in Luke 10 he tells them to go to towns and cities. If you are welcomed he says, stay, if you are not leave and shake the dust off your feet as a sign of their doom.

Why didn’t Jesus, the word, the lamb of god, son of the most high, God there in the flesh with them help those poor disciples out with divine guidance – go to Gillingham because they need to hear now, avoid Twydall cos that’s a bit rough and as for those on the Darland estate forget it, they are all so well off that it would be easier for you to squeeze a camel through the eye of a needle!

I don’t know why Jesus does not give that guidance but I am guessing that he did not think the detail was that important. Could that be because he was more interested in how they would go for him rather than where they would go? In their attitude rather than their actions? In their relationship with each other and with him, rather than the standard of their work?

God loves you.

His own Psalms tell us we are fearfully and wonderfully made. He loves us so much he died for us. And to add to that, not only does he love us – he actually likes us to.

I find it hard to believe that a God like that has just one ultimate journey for our lives. One specific which, if we miss it, means we live the rest of our life kind of second class or maybe third of fourth class way. Does that sound like a devoted God? A caring God? A loving God?

Whatever role you take on is secondary to God. You can be a vicar, a banker, estate agent, evangelist, doctor, unemployed, volunteer, retired, mother, father, student … and God will thoroughly bless you and use you there if you let him.

Before he can do that, however, you need to be you. You need to understand who you are in God, and that, primarily, you are called into relationship with him, a relationship of holiness that reflects the character of God in your life.