Today we travelled to St Marks College, Saffron Walden, to have a look around as we are running a Falcon Camp here in the summer for CPAS. When I say we, I mean myself, Malcolm and Abby who I have the pleasure of working with each day.
It strikes me that even though you work together every day, and see quite a bit of each other, that it takes a journey to somewhere like Saffron Walden to actually have time to talk about anything. On our two hour or so long journeys we were able to chat, laugh and generally just listen and enjoy each others company in a different way than we are usually able to do. This meant we were able to hear each other differently, and there was no pressure on time as we were in the car and dependent on the flow of the M25 and M11. I enjoyed just spending time with my friends in the car; if you ask them, they of course may have a different opinion!
There is a cheesy link coming or not!… On our journey with God should we not make space for the same type of thing to happen. I have just had a great picture of God smiling and calling me just to sit and rest and chill with him for a bit. Quite often my time with God I want to tell him what’s on my mind, my struggles, give him the list of things that he needs to sort and so on.
If you think about it, that is really quite bizarre. If God is GOD, then he knows all that anyway! Sometimes I wonder whether he just thinks … Rob, I know, you don’t have to prove yourself, just come and sit with me awhile!
The only illustration I can offer to try and get my thought across is my children. Quite often one of them will just come and sit next to me or sit on my lap. They don’t necessarily want to talk, nor do they want anything of me, they just want to be with me. I tell you, when it happens it feels great! I can’t begin to describe the myriad of positive emotions that that experience generates inside me.
I am not a particularly great dad. Sarah is far more patient and loving than I am. But, if that experience of a ‘poor’ dad can generate that much emotion, and if someone like me feels like that after spending time ‘chilling’ with one of his children I wonder how much more God feels when we just chill out with him.
Too often I think we believe that God loves us, because theologically he has to, but that he does not really like us, because maybe we do not like ourselves, and so would not choose to spend time with us. I am learning that is a lie and total rubbish! I am starting to realise that God actually loves those times when we just sit with him, in his presence, in exactly the same way I love it when one of my children jumps on my lap or sits next to me.
I want to end this post with some words from Mike Yaconelli after he visited the L’Arche community on retreat:
it only took a short period of time to realise I wasn’t alone. God had been trying to shout over the noisiness of my life, and I couldn’t hear him. But in the stillness, his whispers shouted from my soul. “Michael I am here, I have been calling you, but you haven’t been listening. Can you hear me, Michael? I love you. I have always loved you. And I have been waiting for you to hear me stay that to you. But you have been so busy trying to prove to yourself that you are loved that you have not heard me.2
… My soul was awakened by a loving father who had been looking and waiting for me. Finally, I accepted my brokenness .. I had never come to terms with that …. let me explain … I knew I was a sinner, I continually disappointed God … but I could never accept that part of me. I continually felt the need to apologise, to run from my weakness, to deny who I was and concentrate on who I should be. I was broken but I was continually trying never to be broken again.
…it became clear that I had misunderstood … it was in my brokenness, my powerlessness, im y weakness that Jesus was made strong. It was in my acceptance of my lack of faith that God could give me faith
…. What does all this mean? … I don’t know and maybe that is the wrong question … I can only tell you for the first time in my life I can hear Jesus whisper every day ‘Michael I love you. You are beloved. And for some strange reason, that seems to be enough.’
I’m off now to chill with God cos I think I’ve left it far too long!
The Shiny Headed Prophet 
I love this last post.I am finding it so hard to spend quality ‘chill-time’ with God, there is just too much to do, and too many places to be, somhow I know I’m supposed to be just spending time reading my bible and praying (we’re even keeping an encouraging eye on each other in my house group to help each other specifically do this) But I’m failing miserably. (They – my housegroup- won’t let me call it failing, but that’s what I feel like it is.) For the first time in weeks I got in early from work last night and managed some ‘me and God’ time with a bible, my ideas pad and music. It was great, and I even chose not to watch tv when Sam switched in on, so I could carry on with God longer.I need to address my time, I know that, but I also need to realise, like you, I just have to remember to spend the time to sit and BE with God, rather than fuss over when I can fit in bible reading. Then I guess other things such as praying for a specific length of time, or reading my bible and taking it in will naturally follow-on…. Won’t it??Joe F
:)Joe.When we spend time with God then we will know what he wants us to do, not a list of read bible for so long, pray for so long etcIn our hearts he speaks what he wants for us. Chill:)Lucy
JoeI think it is imnportant that you be yourself – as I said in the email. God created you as you and loves you to bits!Check out Lucy’s blog as well for her really inspiring thoughts.