I started this week off a little differently.

I have been trying to pray more, but dismally failing without actually noticing. Interestingly, I’ve been starting to think that I’m too busy to pray … and yet I have nothing, as such, to do! In my head, I have been deciding I need to be in a set place by a set time, and need to be there daily – and so my waiting for people or to see God doing something, although important, has squeezed my opportunity to wait on God in prayer.

On Monday after Staff Forum and then staff meeting, rather than ‘go out’ I decided to go home and spend a few hours just chilling with God in a prayerful way. I have tried the kneeling for extended periods of time, but i find pain and other distractions kick in after about 30 mins. So … I chatted, asked, listened and just gave God a long time to do whatever He wanted to do, say or bring to mind.

I started my time with some liturgy from the Northumbria Celtic Prayer book to aid my focus and was particularly ‘drawn’ to some of the Brendan Voyage liturgy, particularly this line from page 180:

Brendon will go in adventure with God on the seas.
With care he will choose who his closest companions will be.

I took that as a bit of direction to mull over from God. The ‘sea’ language sums up where I feel I am at the moment – a mass of space and direction to go, sometimes calm and sometimes rough! I know Brendan’s voyage was on real sea, but symbolically I relate to similar situations. (For much more detailed and thought out stuff on Brendan you need to check out Mark Berry’s stuff).

As I mulled over the idea of my journey and my companions in this, I felt God reminded me of three things in particular which I need to do something about (a trinity of ideas maybe!)

I was reminded that I started this venture by prayer walking up and down the High Street in the morning before it got busy. I was ashamed to think that I had not prayer walked since my first week in September. I’m even more ashamed to admit that I had even forgot that I did this. On Tuesday morning I changed this and after Matins I prayer walked along the High Street at 8.30am. I intend to do this regularly (not daily) at 830 after Matins or 9am if there is a Eucharist – so if anyone wants to join me please let me know! I believe God may have said that I need to pray for people to prayer walk with me!

I am sitting in locations largely on my own, and I feel I need to be praying for a person or persons to share this with me on occasions, particularly, but not only, so that I can be present some evenings. This has been reinforced for me today in the local press where Rochester High Street has been labeled as the most violent in Kent which is mainly due to drunken behaviour in the evenings. I am uncomfortable ‘hanging out’ in Rochester during the evening alone. So, God reminded me to be praying for others to join me in this way.

Thirdly, God seemed to bring to mind names of various people from the past. These people had all made some faith commitment in previous years but had all, without exception, found survival in an inherited church pattern just impossible for them. I don’t know where these people are, but I have started to pray that in some way I come across them again.

So – time with God and three action points – I came out of the time very encouraged but also very aware that this must not be a one off. I guess the biggest thing that has shocked me here, and something I need to put things in place to counteract, is how I have allowed ‘waiting’ to squeeze out ‘praying’. It’s quite a scary thought. I am used to being lost in busy-ness, but not in waiting-ness.