Today we congregated in the cathedral for a rehearsal of Saturday’s ordination service. It was good to see old friends again and meet new ones. The rehearsal seemed to go smoothly, and is not very complicated although there seems to be a fair bit to remember. I think the difficult bit is going to be not tripping up over my cassock after kneeling!

After the rehearsal we joined the sisters at Edenbridge where the retreat really started. It is a lot more relaxed than I thought it would be. There are opportunities for silence rather than it being a silent retreat. That makes sense to me as we have opportunity for personal relevance in these few days.

I mainly realsied today that it is not only ok, but very normal, to feel nervous over the days ahead. I feel a fraud, but so does everyone else. It’s good to be with others who realise this is all about God using us, not us taking an option – and we all feel daunted, nervous and scared about that. The best comment I heard today was from Michael Adams, our retreat director,: ‘after 27 years of ordained ministry … I am more excited today about the ministry than I was when I was first ordained … which I remember being quite scared and bewildered by.’ I hope I can share that same sentiment in years to come.

Ended the evening with a couple of glasses of Jura – although I could only find one fellow person to join me.