In a weaker moment towards the end of my training I said yes to Jeremy, the Principal of SEITE, to a request to lead some creative worship with a cluster that he attends at St Mary Bredin in Canterbury.

I liked the idea of experimenting with the aim, alongside of worshipping God, of just sparking some of the creative energy in this group by helping them to experience different ways of worship other than singing. As a person who has a particular dislike of most of the worship songs we sing today I jumped at the chance! (there are a variety of reasons for my dislike of singing ranging from songs being too feminine in language to songs lyrics advocating a hope for stuff that I just think is not backed up in scripture such as ‘being taken home to heaven’ – but that’s all the subject of another post at another time).

Despite jumping at the chance of leading worship I have found this quite a difficult challenge and it is still not entirely sorted and so I have wondered why this has taken me so long – is it the fear of doing something with the ex-principal in the congregation, or my problem with wanting to be a perfectionist, or a foolish desire to be as trendy and creative as possible?

Actually, I have decided it is none of these. The reason for the hassles and confusions I am having at the moment is simply because I am working on this alone!

When I lead worship normally, the worship comes out of a group collaborative working together or journey. Ideas are shared and mulled around. Things are bounced around between different minds. Other peoples reactions cause thought processes to develop in different areas. Talking and sharing breeds creativity. When all that has nearly run its course different people then become responsible for different elements and as that happens God moves through different individuals and things are enhanced further.

Collaborative work may take longer, and it may be frustrating sometimes, but I have really missed it on this occasion. The process of leading worship to a God who exists in community, clearly needs community to consider how to worship. On Sunday morning something will be missing, it will feel incomplete as this has been put together with one mind trying to hear God but I really hope all of us, and I include me in that, take away something new of our relationship with God.