Today has been an interesting day. A day when I have asked on more than one occasion ‘what’s it all about?’

I always find it weird coming back from a long time away to my normal (if there is such a thing) pattern of work. There is always a sense of excitement, not knowing what the time away may have thrown up, what issues or events are waiting to pounce on me. Often, there is a mountain of emails, but there were only around 40ish which was a pleasant surprise. Obviously others took time off during the week too! Always, these days throw up a good amount of stress as, although I like to work spontaneously, I also like to have a bit of control on that spontaneity!

Today has been one of those days where I have just had to catch up with what is happening in my world and that of others. Today has been a day to listen, to learn, to reflect and a day to decide what to do based on just partial knowledge. Today has been a day of arrow prayers and actions. I cannot claim God’s great direction, but I can say I prayed and did stuff and prioritised in a way that seemed right.

It strikes me that days like this must have been common place for the early Christians. We often romaticise the time and I regularly hear, in the charismatic wings of the church especially, that ‘it would be great if we could get back to the early church way of doing things!’.

I reflect on that and think that we are – just as they argued and moaned about things, we seem to be doing quite a good job of imitating them! I don’t think, however, this is what others are meaning! They are meaning an atmosphere of great worship and spiritual gifts.

We romanticise thinking all this was great, all was powerful, all was exciting; whereas in actual fact I wonder whether it wasn’t all just a bit stressful and laborious with power struggles, misunderstandings, and genuine, but raw, desires to do right. Rather than going along with established methods, these people had to invent the new, they were starting afresh, dealing with things as they came, making mistakes, reflecting and then trying again.

From our 21st century outposts, we look in and wonder how they got it so wrong sometimes, but they did and God still honoured them, still blessed them, but more importantly … still totally loved them.

Today as I sit and ponder my inefficient use of time, y mistakes, my undone tasks … I can sit assured that God loves me no less or more than he did before I started!

That is what it is all about!