At the weekend my cigar lighter stopped working in my Citroen. This insignificant little thing caused me no end of grief. My sat nav works from the cigar lighter and I quite like ‘Lara’ giving me perfect directions. Driving to Milton Keynes yesterday looking at written directions and wondering if I had missed junctions was far too stressful for a 21st century man.

Anyway – this little things was a cause of much amusement today. Yesterday I bought a replacement form Halfords but the connections are very different. Citroen wanted to charge me nearly £30 for a replacement so I phoned a local breakers yard. They had an R reg Xsara just like mine which still had the lighter in – fantastic … cost, around £2 sir!!! Wicked.

I forgot what a breakers yard is like. I forgot I would need some tools and possibly need to climb. I foegot they were not the safest of places. I arrived in a muddy lake. ‘Ah the Xsara sir, its round the back and a red one – same colour as yours actually’.

The cars were stacked on top of each other – mine being in the middle of a pile of 3. I negotiated discarded tyres, drive shafts, puddles and squeezed between swaying mountains of cars towards my target. Someone has taken the handle of the outside and inside of the door I wanted – and it was shut!!!

I tried to climb through from the front to the back, but the sudden tiltingng back of the xsara plus whatever was on top of it told me that was a bad idea. Then I thought – the drive shaft. I climbed back down, picked it up and managed the bash the door open from the other side so I could gain access. The banging drew some attention from the staff. I should paint a picture here: Rob’s hanging through passenger door window (this door was handle-less too) while banging the opposite door with a drive shft of an old mazda!

‘Ah mate – are you alright?’ ‘Er I think so’ They started to laugh and so did I as I think I sounded a bit like Mr Bean in his sketch with the turkey stuck on his head – well I felt a flippin turkey anyway!

I climbed gingerly into the car and, with no tools other than my front door key, I removed the lighter and was quite pleased at my progress. I took the cigar lighter and a replacement fog light for £5 – both would have cost me over £60 from citroen. And all for 30 mins work.

I don’t know why I am shairing this as I will no doubt suffer to my embarrasment in days to come – other than I find it amazing what great lengths a man will go to, and what risk he will put himself through, just to save £50!

It would be great if I could show so much creativity and determination in things far more important!